Looking for a new approach...

kaynix21

So my FI is supposed to graduate college in May, and he'll be getting his officer commission.But he's not doing his homework, he's not taking it seriously, he has a huge thesis due soon, and hasn't started.We've been together since we were in high school, and he's never liked school. But his goal to become an officer always outweighed that....If he doesn't finish school, he won't get his commission.I've been dying to move, but we stayed so he could do school.I told him I was going to help him get through school this year, but he's making it impossible.I've tried reminding him.. I've tried ignoring it. I've tried tough love.I pulled the...do it for our unborn children who need their daddy to graduate college and the, do it for me if you won't do it yourself approach.Things are making him mad, like and adjustment to his thesis (which was neccessary but he's too stubborn to agree) and he's having problems with authority when it comes to teachers...I need him to get through school. And he knows he needs it. But I don't know how to help him anymore, and honestly I don't know that he'll do it on his own.And ideas of how I might be able to get through to him?

meltoine

That's a really sucky situation. I commend you for doing your best to help! That said, I don't have too much advice to offer. I almost didn't graduate because I had a major case of senior-itis + wedding planning distraction. But in the end, I realised that I had already put 3.5 years and close to $100,000 into it and I may as well finish strong. I managed to get through it with my GPA in tact, somehow. I think all you can do is step back, not nag, and hope that he realises how important it is. I know it's really difficult, but it doesn't sound like he will be motivated by anything you can say.

kaynix21

Thanks. Yeah, that's sort of how I feel. I just want to help him.

gingerthebasicemt

IDK what kind of contract your FI has (since he's commissioning and in college I assume he's ROTC), but I know if my FI doesn't graduate he will have to pay back the money the Army has given him in service time. He would go in as an E3 or E4 and give them 4 years. Mention that too him if its applicable. You're in a tough spot since MOS has come out and he's that close to commissioning. Tell him that no graduation=no commission and possibly service as an enlisted man instead on an officer.

kaynix21

Marines, not ROTC. He's already enlisted, and he likes it. IDK that that "threat" will help at all.I've tried that one, and he was like fine, I like being a grunt anyways...but in not so nice language of course. Lol.

gingerthebasicemt

Maybe mention the pay upgrades and housing upgrade? Not to mention that life with a family is better as an Officer vs Enlisted. I can't help much since, everything I know is based on prior experience with the Army. I know little to none about Marines. Sorry I can't be of much help :-/

kyrgyzstan

Wait a second. Is he USMCR or is he doing MECEP? I can't believe he's already enlisted and is being such a baby. Grown-ups finish the things they agree to do. Honestly, I wouldn't marry a guy like that. I hate school too, I really do. But I do what I have to do, because being an officer is super important to me. I would never need SO to motivate me. Becoming an O is about self-motivation, and if he can't handle that, he shouldn't be one.

kaynix21

He is a United States Marine. Enlisted. Coming up on four years in. Reservist.

kyrgyzstan

What does his OSO/A say about his lack of self-motivation? Mine would tell me that if I'm not motivated enough to finish school without my SO telling me to, I'm not motivated enough to lead Marines.