Military Brides

Best man being deployed

We just found out that my fiance's best man is being deployed to Egypt in February and will not be able to attend our wedding. We still want to include him in our wedding, however. My fiance had the idea to video conference him in to do the best man speech. Our venue has an AV room and a projection screen so we could probably make this work, but I'm worried that the connection might not be good or some other technical difficulty might happen.

We are also considering asking him to pre-tape a speech, but he is a really funny guy whose humor works better live.

Do you all have any suggestions? Have you ever seen anything like this before?
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Re: Best man being deployed

  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Depending on where he is being deployed, it will likely be early in the morning if you are doing an evening reception.  In order for him to do a live feed he would need to not be on duty at the time, and would need to have access to a computer and internet.  While I think it is a nice gesture, I think it will be really hard to set up properly. 

    I would still keep him as the BM, and just list him in the program as the honorary BM, without replacing him.  You could either have his speech pre-recorded, or have him write it and maybe his wife or SO if he has one, or another GM could read the speech he wrote. 

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  • edited December 2011

    Have you considered Skype?  Of course barring the (very common) connection problems, internet blacouts, time efforts, etc. if the stars align for you he might be able to deliver his speech to you. 

    Just to be safe, I'd make sure someone else has a written copy to read on his behalf, in case any of the before mentioned mishaps happens.  Good Luck!

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  • Victoria2013Victoria2013 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Why don't you tape it now but plan on him doing it live.  Then just in case there are internet problems he will still be able to give his speech.  
  • edited December 2011
    This actually happened to me indirectly a couple of months ago. My fiance is deployed and couldn't be there for his brother's wedding. His deployment came up around the same time as his brother's engagement, so everything was kind of a whirlwind. My fiance wanted to either video chat in for the wedding or record a speech, but he was so busy at the beginning of the deployment that there was no way for that to happen. He ended up writing out a speech and emailing. My fiance's brother really wanted someone to stand up with him as represent my fiance, so he ended up asking me to do that. It actually turned out being really nice. The officant let everyone know that the grooms brother was currently deployed, everyone cried, etc. We ended up having my fiance's best friend read the speech because it was really just a big comedy act, and he does a great impression of my fiance. Since the best man isn't leaving until February, you have plenty of time for him to pre-record something. Don't worry about his humor not translating well even though it isn't live--the only ones who really need to appreciate it are you and your fiance, and it would probably mean a lot to the two of them if his best man gave the speech, even by proxy. Don't rule out having him video chat in, but definitely have a back up because the logistics with that are really complicated.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_man-being-deployed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:1265dcfb-14d5-40f8-8588-dd1785f5fe2ePost:86af325b-44bc-41be-b996-78bebb221c1e">Re: Best man being deployed</a>:
    [QUOTE]Why don't you tape it now but plan on him doing it live.  Then just in case there are internet problems he will still be able to give his speech.  
    Posted by Victoria2013[/QUOTE]

    I was thinking this. Have a backup plan.
    Also, I would make sure you send him a copy of the wedding so he can watch it. :)
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  • roaaoiferoaaoife member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    When my DF was in Iraq, we were able to talk on skype every night with out issue. The picture quality wasn't great, but I could see him, and he could see me, and we could hear each other just fine.  

    Do a pre-recording like has been suggested, just in case, but once he gets there he will find out his schedule and availability, and test the connections.  Egypt should have good connections- I know Qatar does.  I think a video conference should be fine, as long as you don't mind that he can't wear a tux.
  • blisphordingblisphording member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thank you all for your suggestions! I showed my fiance your ideas, and he really likes the idea of having a video taped (as well as written) back up speech, but then attempting to do the live skype. We spoke with our reception place today about it and they said no one had ever tried it before, but they would be excited to help us test it out and see if they can make it work!

    I think it will be really meaningful and I am excited to still be able to include him in our day! Thanks again everyone!
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  • edited December 2011
    BTW tell him thank you for his service to our country.  And that we all hope he returns safely.  I'm a miltary brat and my ex husband is Air Force.  So I know what it's like when they can't be there for events.  Thank you and your Fiance for supporting him and wanting to make him a part of your big day even though he can't be there IRL.  People always thank the troops, policemen, and firefighters.  They never think of the spouses, the parents, siblings, and friends that have to deal with the worry of having a loved one deploy, or chase down an armed robber, or go into a burning building.  That I think takes a greater strength than fighting to protect our country.  To stand aside while a loved one goes out and faces all kinds of danger to do his/her duty...THAT'S strength.
  • FbrandyeFbrandye member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It's actually not a bad connection anymore especially in the nicer countries. My finace was there not long ago and we talked almost everyday. Also since you know in advance he could tell his commanding officer what is going on and possibly get that time off. Skype is the greatest thing ever and you could have it set up so he could see the whole thing if you aren't having someone tape it, or just ask a friend to use a simple video camera to tape the ceremony and parts of the reception so he can see it.
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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011

    OP- I don't know if you'll come back to this thread, but I just figured I'd give you a heads up.  H is now deployed and was put up in a hotel in a foreign country waiting to go to his ship.  It was a very nice hotel in a very nice area, and he bought internet service for the day so we could skype.  The picture quality was really poor and once in a while the speech would cut out.  It was great for me regardless to be able to see him and talk to him, but I was thinking about you during that because I realized it would be very hard for a big group in a large room to understand him.  I would definitely pre-record it.  Having him skype into the wedding would be nice still, and if he ends up with a great connection he could read it, but if not you have it recorded. 

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