Military Brides

fiance is being deployed

My fiance is deploying to afghanistan in november and will be gone for about 8 months we will be getting married august 13th,2011...so i was just wondering if anyone has any advice on staying up beat during this time apart while planning a wedding

Re: fiance is being deployed

  • kyrgyzstankyrgyzstan
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    member
    edited December 2011
    Planning a wedding is a really great way to keep your mind off a deployment. If you're in school, take the opportunity to focus and do well. Join a gym, that helps a lot too.

    You'll be fine, don't let yourself wallow too much.
    I hate Dave Ramsey
  • edited December 2011
    I completely agree with the PP. Keep yourself busy with everything else while he is gone. I'm about 4 months into a 12 month deployment and it's going really well. I've worked on some of the wedding planning, worked extra hard at school, and am training for a half marathon. The biggest thing is to make sure you fill up your down time. I have a few weeks off for Christmas, which will be hard, so I am trying to plan a lot of stuff with family and some old friends from college. Keep your head up and stay busy. When you miss him, write him letters and put together care packages. If you want to send him something for Christmas, start thinking about it now, because you'll need to get it in the mail shortly after he leaves in November to make it by Christmas. Make sure you talk to him about what to expect while he is gone as far as communication goes, and don't panic if you don't hear from him often, it's completely normal. Good luck!
  • mysticlmysticl
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    member
    edited December 2011
    I agree that keeping busy can help when they are gone.  My FI has been in and out on work ups gearing up for a deployment.  When I was unemployed it was really hard to have him gone, now that I'm working it's easier.  I found that working on the wedding made things worse because it was an in your face kind of reminder that the groom is not there.  So I wouldn't work on things everyday.  One way it comes in handy is that if a vendor is trying to pressure you into making a decision you can say you need to discuss it with your FI who is deployed and it may take a few days to get in touch with him.  That tends to shut them right up. 
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  • ksrawrksrawr
    10 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    I agree with Stan.  We went though an 8 month deployment (suppose to be a year but cut short).  We didn't get engaged untill three months through the deployment however i threw myself into work and school and I tried to go out with my friends.  
  • edited December 2011
    MY FI is gone right now and won't be back until just a few weeks before the wedding, I find that the wedding really makes things a lot easier because it takes up a lot of my time. Just keep busy and he will be home before you know it!
    Planning Bio

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  • edited December 2011
    I think any deployment is survived by staying busy and surrounding yourself with loved ones.  My FIs deployment didn't occur during our engagement but I think having a weding to plan would have helped raise my spirits even a little more...it may be hard to not have him their to plan with you but just look at it as an extended and elaborate wlcome home for him.....hang in there...
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  • Victoria2013Victoria2013
    100 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    My FI is deployed right now and having a wedding to plan has helped keep me distracted.  Just stay positive, especially around the holidays!
  • edited December 2011
    Hello!! 

    My fiancé is a marine and is already deployed.  He should be back in April, just in time for our June wedding.  One of the things that I have been doing is keeping a wedding binder.  That way when my fiancé gets home he can see what went into the planning process and what it took to make our wedding happen.  

    Another fun thing I do to keep myself busy is care packages.  I come up with a theme for each month and work on it.  For example, I'm working on the Christmas themed box right now so I can send it in time for him to get it.  It's fun, and you have to keep up with it because you only have about a month to get each box ready.

    I hope this helped.  If you ever need anything, let me know :)

    Elizabeth
  • cherrypi820cherrypi820
    First Comment
    member
    edited December 2011
    Aloha!
    So far my FI has only been on short  deployments (1-3 months). I usually do not get to talk to him till about three weeks into his deployment and after that talking is sporadic. What has really helped me was to write him a message on Facebook anytime I wanted to talk to him. I wrote it more as a journal then a letter to him but it was really helpful and it kept him up to date on my life. Plus he said he enjoyed having so many stories to read when he was finally able to get online. Anyways I hope that helps a bit. Have a great day. 
    Jes
  • jahornjahorn
    10 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    I spent the last 2 years with him deployed, reinlisted and now he is back but took a new position where we had to move yet again. I like him back but it looks like he misses being away.  Emails were nice and made me feel upbeat when he was gone.  photo's and uploading them to facebook kept me occupied too!
  • edited December 2011
    My fiance is currently deployed in afghanistan for 7 months and will come back a couple months before our wedding.  It's tough, and it certainly makes wedding planning a little bit bittersweet--it's exciting because you are planning your wedding, but at the same time it is a reminder that he is away.  With that said, just focus on the positive and stay busy.  As a person that is not the biggest exerciser, I started forcing my butt to go to the gym-i get totally preoccupied for at least a little bit and focus on something other than my fiance being gone (like not passing out in cycling class hahaha) and gets me in shape for the wedding!  You and your fiance are in my thoughts and prayers and hang in there girlie.  Hell be home befor eyou know it!!
  • kyrgyzstankyrgyzstan
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    member
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: fiance is being deployed:
    Hello!!  My fiancé is a marine and is already deployed.  He should be back in April, just in time for our June wedding.  One of the things that I have been doing is keeping a wedding binder.  That way when my fiancé gets home he can see what went into the planning process and what it took to make our wedding happen.   Another fun thing I do to keep myself busy is care packages.  I come up with a theme for each month and work on it.  For example, I'm working on the Christmas themed box right now so I can send it in time for him to get it.  It's fun, and you have to keep up with it because you only have about a month to get each box ready. I hope this helped.  If you ever need anything, let me know :) Elizabeth
    Posted by Elizabeth
    Hi Elizabeth, please delete your post and start an account that is not your first and last name, especially since you have a month of return in your post. Do some googling about OPSEC and PERSEC. They will help keep you and your Marine safe.

    Congrats on your engagement. 
    I hate Dave Ramsey
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