Intro - and need advice !

Kelli7025

Hi all, 

My finace and I have been engaged for a little over a year. He was coming up on 3 years in the USMC when he was admin sep'd because of being undeployable (medical issue that was resolved, but it didnt really make a difference). He was in the Reserves, so just attending drill once a month and that never interferred with setting a wedding date and planning a wedding. 

Now he wants to enlist in the Army for a 3 year enlistment. This time he plans on being active duty. We had our date set at September 7, 2013. But I have been reading so many things on the internet about people who had leave for their wedding, and they still were not allowed to come home even though they had all the proper paperwork. We have a few things booked and lots of plans in motion. 

My question: I feel like I am being stupid if I keep planning a wedding when we are not even guaranteed that he will be able to come home. We are not in a financial situation to waste $15,000 (not sure too many people are!). So what do I do? I am hoping you ladies might have some advice for me.

TIA

ggirl2001

Can he wait until after the wedding to enlist? Has he met with the recruiter yet and figured out what his options are? Is he sure he can get in? 

Kelli7025

He is not sure he can get even get in yet after his admin sep. 

I am worried about asking him about waiting until after the wedding. The reson he was in the USMC reserves was because he enlisted and then met me senior year of hs and decided he wanted to go to college with me. Because he backed out of his first enlistment for college, when he enlisted the second time active duty was not an option. I dont want him to feel like that is what is going to happen again. 

He is planning on meeting with a recruiter this weekend. 

I just dont know what to do in this situation. 

Beachy730

Don't do anything until after he talks to the recruiter and finds out his options.  If he is going to enlist, they should have a general idea of when he would leave for basic.   If he does enlist you can contact all your vendors about getting a military clause added to your contract stating that if you have to change your date due ot military obligations they won't charge you.

Kelli7025

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_intro-and-need-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:34050084-333f-42bc-a521-09b0bed8bcf7Post:40738ae2-5895-4d49-bf01-d1031df23273">Re: Intro - and need advice !</a>:
[QUOTE]Don't do anything until after he talks to the recruiter and finds out his options.  If he is going to enlist, they should have a general idea of when he would leave for basic.   If he does enlist you can contact all your vendors about <strong>getting a military clause added to your contract stating that if you have to change your date due ot military obligations they won't charge you.</strong>
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

<div>I didnt think about the bolded part ! Thats a good suggestion :)</div>

ggirl2001

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_intro-and-need-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:34050084-333f-42bc-a521-09b0bed8bcf7Post:c7bd93ba-644c-4195-a954-bd541e11225b">Re: Intro - and need advice !</a>:
[QUOTE]He is not sure he can get even get in yet after his admin sep. <strong> I am worried about asking him about waiting until after the wedding. The reson he was in the USMC reserves was because he enlisted and then met me senior year of hs and decided he wanted to go to college with me. Because he backed out of his first enlistment for college, when he enlisted the second time active duty was not an option</strong>. I dont want him to feel like that is what is going to happen again.  He is planning on meeting with a recruiter this weekend.  I just dont know what to do in this situation. 
Posted by Kelli7025[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>He CHOSE to do that though. You didn't force him to do that. I would definitely follow Beachy's advice, but I am not quite sure why he has decided now to join, knowing your wedding is in September. What does he say about it all? 

</div>

Irishcurls

But your wedding is in Sept 2013?? Is it possible to find out his reporting dates and then get married early 2013 instead? I wouldn't be planning anything else right now, though I'd be surprised with how much you've actually done 18 months out. (Edit, I mean money-wise...obviously you can plan a lot without buying stuff. Would you lose a lot of money if you changed your date?)

ggirl2001

Reading fail. Party of one here.

iluvmytxrgr

I think you need to figure out if he'll get in.  The Army is reducing the force by about 400K soldiers.  People with medical issues are being kicked out left and right.  The chances of him even getting in are extremely low.  There are very, very ,very few waivers being accepted. 

Kelli7025

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_intro-and-need-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:34050084-333f-42bc-a521-09b0bed8bcf7Post:0b53aecb-eebf-447f-addf-35047fbabc14">Re: Intro - and need advice !</a>:
[QUOTE]I think you need to figure out if he'll get in.  The Army is reducing the force by about 400K soldiers.  People with medical issues are being kicked out left and right.  The chances of him even getting in are extremely low.  There are very, very ,very few waivers being accepted. 
Posted by iluvmytxrgr[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Thanks that is very good info to know !!

</div>

crownsuperstar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_intro-and-need-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:34050084-333f-42bc-a521-09b0bed8bcf7Post:0b53aecb-eebf-447f-addf-35047fbabc14">Re: Intro - and need advice !</a>:
[QUOTE]I think you need to figure out if he'll get in.  The Army is reducing the force by about 400K soldiers.  People with medical issues are being kicked out left and right.  The chances of him even getting in are extremely low.  There are very, very ,very few waivers being accepted. 
Posted by iluvmytxrgr[/QUOTE]



Yes this totally!