Military Brides

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  • Beachy730Beachy730
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    member
    edited December 2011
    I would just ask him if he has any specific requests that he would like.  Also ask him if he wants to wear his uniform and if there are any other ties to the military he wants to make.  Do you email him often?  You can keep him updated with ideas and things you've planned without overwhelming him.  It would give him something fun to think about and picture in his head.  But I agree on not bombarding him with every detail about flowers and chair covers and what not. 

    Find out what he is most interested in too and you can give him some options or ideas to let him pick and have a say.  My H's biggest concerns were the food and the bar, so he loved doing the food tasting and picking the menu.  He would have killed me if I made him go to a flower appointment, or even talk in more detail about flowers other than what color they were. 
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  • edited December 2011
    We took care of the big things (venue, ceremony officiant, etc.) before he left, and I've found that he doesn't have strong opinions on much else. Like dnbeach said, ask him what is most important for him to have input, then go with your gut on the rest. I have a decent idea on my FI's "taste", so I'm obviously not choosing things he would hate but I'm going off my best judgement. Email is great if you have access. My fiance can't check his often, but when I send him ideas, he humors me and writes back to let me know he thinks my ideas are fine. Does he get a mid-tour leave? We are planning on taking care of a few wedding related things then. Good luck! If you need help, the people on this board are great, feel free to ask any of us more questions.
  • edited December 2011
    He told me the only things he cared about Wedding related were

    1. Ceremony in a Church
    2. He was going to wear his Mess Dress
    3. He wanted to pick out what his guys would wear
    4. He wanted a DJ not a Band
    5. Nothing overly feminine like hot pink invites. :)
    6. No Photo Booth (didn't want it to feel like a carnival)


    I would recommend like beach said- putting together a list of "Must Haves" and "Dont's"

    Although my FI is just across the Country vs. World - I think I have consulted his parents more than him in regards to wedding planning. Just how the world works sometimes.

    GL!
  • kara811kara811
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary
    member
    edited December 2011
    It can be tough planning it all alone, I am in the same boat. But at the same time, I find it real fun too because my FI just kinda let me have at it. He just laid down a couple of rules though before I started the planning process. 1. No shade of pink or purple in anything. 2. Don't make the wedding too over-the-top, like in movies and such(he knows I have the tendency to do that!). 

    Even though he pretty much lets me do everything and he wants what I want. FI still likes to know what it going on in the planning process and be involved in it somewhat. I always email him pictures of everything. Starting with the venues, invites, and even little things. But as some PPs said, don't overwhelm him with information either. Ask him what he wants in the wedding, if he has anything he specifically wants in it. Also, ask him what he wants to wear, don't pick that our for him, same goes for the wedding bands. The main things FI cared about are the food, cake, venue etc. He hates that he can't go on the tastings with me. But when it comes on the little details like flowers, and linens, etc he could really care less.

    Good Luck! Happy Planning! :) 
  • SamiGraceTSamiGraceT
    10 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    His request was he wanted the full blown military wedding, and all that goes with it, then I could do what I want for the reception.  Once I had that, it's been pretty easy to plan, other than the lack of confirmed date yet. 
  • edited December 2011

    I've been really lucky in that my FI is in Japan and we can skype (literally ALL the time) AND that he wanted to wear his Dress Blues, but other than that, it was all up to me. Just make sure you're clear on what he may or may  not want before you start. Make a list of questions you have for whenever you can talk to him (can he call? or email?) Good Luck!!

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  • VraechelVraechel
    10 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    I really thought my husband would have some ideas about what he wanted. He's super A-type about pretty much everything. His only request was that it be in his home town. Which is kind of a pain since he's from MN and we live in HI. I complain about this a lot, but I do really like that his family will all be able to attend this way. What I've gathered from most of my engaged/married friends and my husband. Guys like to have a few things that represent them, but for the most part they view it as our day. My husband is really sweet and thoughtful and romantic but still doesn't care about what flowers I pick. No matter how many times I ask him if he likes a bridesmaid dress he cant work up any enthusiasm. If he really hates something he might say something. but I'm not holding my breathe. He will sit and go through a bridal mag. if I threaten his life, but other than nothing over the top girly he doesn't too much care.  Just ask your guy what it is that is most important to him.
  • edited December 2011
    Goodness, I remember when my fiance was at AIT and we started planning our wedding.  All he really said about it is that he wanted to be part of picking what cake we have (since he's a human vacuum), that he didn't want to have anything to do with the military that day, and that I didn't have pink for the main color.  That seems to be a trend for what the guys say in this thread lol.
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  • SamiGraceTSamiGraceT
    10 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    I've tried asking him on bridesmaid dresses, he just goes sure, they are nice.  Doesn't matter what I show him.  The wedding itself so far doesn't seem to be any major planning problems other than getting the date set.  That, I can't control it, he can't control it, so I'm really trying to just go with the flow and not worry.  If I have everything more/less ready short of invites going out, and the important people know it's sometime next summer and know the fun of dealing with a military wedding, I'm fine.  For now. 

    Food is being left to my future inlaws since they are in the area, and I'm not.  Plus, FMIL is the one who LOVES to throw parties and knows how to get a good deal out of anything, so she's having the time of her life other than the fact we don't have an exact date for sure yet.   Honestly, I'm doing very little.  I give her what I like the look of for things, any vetos on things, and a budget and she's having fun doing what I'd be going nuts trying to manage.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Planning and Deployment:
    I would just ask him if he has any specific requests that he would like.  Also ask him if he wants to wear his uniform and if there are any other ties to the military he wants to make.  Do you email him often?  You can keep him updated with ideas and things you've planned without overwhelming him.  It would give him something fun to think about and picture in his head.  But I agree on not bombarding him with every detail about flowers and chair covers and what not.  Find out what he is most interested in too and you can give him some options or ideas to let him pick and have a say.  My H's biggest concerns were the food and the bar, so he loved doing the food tasting and picking the menu.  He would have killed me if I made him go to a flower appointment, or even talk in more detail about flowers other than what color they were. 
    Posted by dnbeach12
    This! I just asked him before he left if there was anything that he  really wanted, and then tried to put those things into my planning. I also email him quite frequently with things that cross my mind!
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  • edited December 2011
    SamiGrace.. I don't know any groom that cares abut Bridesmaids dresses!! I could be wrong, but FI gave me a look (on skype) whenever I even tried to get his opinion on anything!! He told me up front that all he wanted was to wear his uniform and to Marry Me.
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  • edited December 2011
    My guy is deployed also but comes home soon! The way I did it was take photos of my inspiration and ideas for the wedding and email him. He replies within 24-48 hours though I don't get calls often but the emails definitely help with planning. At first I felt super lonely going to cake testings and everything but I would write down all the details and he would give me feedback. Like the PP my fiance laid down a few rules also 1. Steak must be on the menu 2. Friends and close friends only 3. Keep it in budget. All 3 easily done!

    How much longer til your wedding?
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