Military Brides

Wedding date drama

So we are supposed to get married on the 18th of June. It's actually a convalidation, we are catholic. Anyway it's the 1 year anniversary of our JOP. So we really like this date. We actually picked the day for our JOP planning that we could have our marriage blessed on a Saturday the next year...Now they're telling him that they can't promise that he'll be able to get off. I feel like if we keep our date it's a little like playing chicken with the navy. I might lose my mind worrying about it. However my husband thinks we should just go for it. We could move it to August but that's a month before we are set to rotate. We could move it to May. Most likely that would be fine, but again things shift. Should we wait until we get to his shore duty? The problem with this is we would like to have a baby ASAP after he rotates so he can be home for the whole process. Thoughts?

Re: Wedding date drama

  • calindicalindi
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    member
    edited December 2011
    You can do whatever feels right - if you really want that date, then give it a go, but make sure you have a military clause with all your contracts with vendors so you don't lose money if you have to change your date.

    A good military clause will indicate that should you have to move your date due to orders from the military that prevent the groom from attending, that you will be able to change the date at no charge.   The risk is always that the vendors can't all change to the same date, but in that case you lose a lot less money than if you didn't have the military clauses.

    Unfortunately, picking any date is like playing chicken with the military.  Just keep in mind that the plans can change, and have an acceptable back-up plan ready.  Worst case, do it in August.

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  • Beachy730Beachy730
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    member
    edited December 2011
    Ditto calindi.  Try to plan on that date, but make sure all of your vendors are willing to work with you.  If you have to switch it, you may want to consider waiting until he goes on shore duty.  H was on shore duty for our wedding, so it made it easier knowing that he would definitely be there, but we had to work around the PCS and deployment coming soon after.  It makes it hard if you have a specific date in mind, but are there are other dates important to you? 
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  • VraechelVraechel
    10 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    Well June 18th really is the only date that has a special meaning for us. It's the date we got married and and met. But...If we really want to be safe we'd wait until winter. I guess my concern is more that if we plan it for that date and we have to move it my husband will be so mad. I'm a lot more flexible than he is. Also the venue we have reserved said that they will only give the deposit back if they are able to resell our date. I'm supposed to sign my contract this week and send it back. He's talking to the boat about moving it to the middle of May. I'll find out tonight. 
  • Beachy730Beachy730
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    member
    edited December 2011
    I definitely wouldn't sign a contract with that venue unless they are wiling to move your deposit and contract to another date without any loss to you.  Hopefully you can get it in for May then, and have him submit his leave paperwork ASAP once you get a date set. 
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  • kara811kara811
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary
    member
    edited December 2011
    Ditto both PPs. You can definitely work around that date. We still chose to do this despite the fact of having the weight on our shoulders that things might change. For months I was worried FI wouldn't get leave or they would have deployment schedule changes yet again. But everything's working out right now, he finally got his leave approved and their ship will be in port for the month of our wedding(unless of course there's some kind of emergency). Just make sure you get those military clauses when you do sign contracts! Good Luck! :) 
  • VraechelVraechel
    10 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    It's a little difficult because, despite living in Hawaii, we are getting married in MN. So they aren't used to dealing with military. I don't think people who aren't in the service have any idea how quickly things can change. Grrr.
  • Beachy730Beachy730
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    member
    edited December 2011
    Yeah I agree.  Our wedding was in NY and near a small reserve base, but with nothing like the military presence around a big base.  I would talk to them and find out though, and just say something like "if you're unwilling to be flexible on date changes due to military conflicts, I think we are going to need to look around at a few other venues before signing any contracts."  Maybe then they would be more accommodating.
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