Military Brides

Should we make it legal before the wedding date?

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Re: Should we make it legal before the wedding date?

  • calindicalindi
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Should we make it legal before the wedding date?:
    With how expensive weddings are these days (until I got engaged a few months ago, I seriously had no idea!) I think it makes pretty good sense to take advantage of the extra income. 
    Posted by KikiKat
    Sweetie, if you really need extra money to pay for your wedding, you shouldn't be taking it from the Federal Government by deceptive behavior.  That's stealing.  That money is set aside so that our men and women in uniform can afford to support their family at a basic level of comfort - housing, food, bills, etc.  It's not there so young brides can pay for a horse and carriage at their "wedding day", when they've actually been secretly married for months. 

    Don't you see the hypocracy here?  "We're not REALLY married, but I'm happy to take the money the military gives for MARRIED couples!"

    I think think of a few ways for you to make some extra money for your wedding quickly and legally:

    -Get a second job bartending or waitressing in the evenings
    -Babysitting can earn about $15-20 under the table in most cities.  I easily pocketed $50/night when I was doing it in college.
    -Host a yard sale and sell stuff you don't use anymore.  You can make at least $100 from a decent house cleaning yard sale, especially if you have furniture you can sell
    -Become a stripper

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  • Beachy730Beachy730
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Should we make it legal before the wedding date?:
    With how expensive weddings are these days (until I got engaged a few months ago, I seriously had no idea!) I think it makes pretty good sense to take advantage of the extra income. 
    Posted by KikiKat
    Seriously I hope you're kidding.  If not, you are the prime example of the type of miltary bride I hate.

    I'm guessing you're also going to the first one complaining if wages are frozen and Tricare is cut.  Its the people like you looking to take advantage of the benefits that make wage freezes seems like such a good idea to others.  You really should be ashamed of yourself as a future military spouse.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Should we make it legal before the wedding date?:
    In Response to Re: Should we make it legal before the wedding date? : Seriously I hope you're kidding.  If not, you are the prime example of the type of miltary bride I hate. I'm guessing you're also going to the first one complaining if wages are frozen and Tricare is cut.  Its the people like you looking to take advantage of the benefits that make wage freezes seems like such a good idea to others.  You really should be ashamed of yourself as a future military spouse.
    Posted by dnbeach12
    Uh I don't know what planet you're on but I don't think anyone, Military or not,  would "like" their wages being frozen or Medical cut so that was kind of a dumb defense.  I know I wouldn't want to work for free no matter who's I'm working for weather it's the government or starbucks!
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  • Beachy730Beachy730
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Should we make it legal before the wedding date?:
    In Response to Re: Should we make it legal before the wedding date? : Uh I don't know what planet you're on but I don't think anyone, Military or not,  would "like" their wages being frozen or Medical cut so that was kind of a dumb defense.  I know I wouldn't want to work for free no matter who's I'm working for weather it's the government or starbucks!
    Posted by Gismo123
    Its whether, not weather.  Unless you're a meteorologist. 

    And the freeze is on pay increases, not frozen as in not getting paid at all.  And no it was not a dumb defense, as she wants the military to basically pay for her wedding.  My point is she is the reason people think the military doesn't need increases, and if thats how she is planning on paying for her wedding she will be the first one to complain that he doesn't get a pay increase. 
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  • calindicalindi
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Should we make it legal before the wedding date?:
    In Response to Re: Should we make it legal before the wedding date? : Uh I don't know what planet you're on but I don't think anyone, Military or not,  would "like" their wages being frozen or Medical cut so that was kind of a dumb defense.  I know I wouldn't want to work for free no matter who's I'm working for weather it's the government or starbucks!
    Posted by Gismo123
    Gismo, frozen means no raises.  Because the military couldn't afford to increase wages and Medical insurance coverage, they would freeze all raises and most promotions.  This has happened, and it can happen again.  And if you get married secretly to filter BAH to your wedding fund, then you're essentially stealing from the government.  And that money could be used for people who need it for, ya know, hard work and honorable service.

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  • kara811kara811
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Should we make it legal before the wedding date?:
    With how expensive weddings are these days (until I got engaged a few months ago, I seriously had no idea!) I think it makes pretty good sense to take advantage of the extra income. 
    Posted by KikiKat
    R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S

    Don't get married if you can't afford the wedding you want, unless you cut corners, or wait and save up for it. You shouldn't steal from the government either. I read this and it just irritated me. The "extra income" needs to go to service members and their families who really need it, not some some couple/bride wanting to throw the wedding of their dreams on the military's' expense. 
  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Should we make it legal before the wedding date?:
    With how expensive weddings are these days (until I got engaged a few months ago, I seriously had no idea!) I think it makes pretty good sense to take advantage of the extra income. 
    Posted by KikiKat
    This makes me sick as a taxpayer, the wife of a former sailor, and a human being.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Should we make it legal before the wedding date?:
    In Response to Re: Should we make it legal before the wedding date? : Gismo, frozen means no raises.  Because the military couldn't afford to increase wages and Medical insurance coverage, they would freeze all raises and most promotions.  This has happened, and it can happen again.  And if you get married secretly to filter BAH to your wedding fund, then you're essentially stealing from the government.  And that money could be used for people who need it for, ya know, hard work and honorable service.
    Posted by calindi
    I wasn't making a comment about the BAH I was stating that no matter if you're in a Military Job or a outside job that having your wages frozen....or what you said is no raises, isn't going to sit well with anyone not just the Military personal.  A business isn't going to give their employees a raise if they aren't making money which is the same concept you're stating the Military has done in the past. 

    I just found that kind of dumb to use as an excuse for the OP to state that the other person who be the first to complain about.  Whether I was married to Military or not if that happened I would probably be the first to complain.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Should we make it legal before the wedding date?:
    In Response to Re: Should we make it legal before the wedding date? : Its whether, not weather.  Unless you're a meteorologist.  And the freeze is on pay increases, not frozen as in not getting paid at all.  And no it was not a dumb defense, as she wants the military to basically pay for her wedding.  My point is she is the reason people think the military doesn't need increases, and if thats how she is planning on paying for her wedding she will be the first one to complain that he doesn't get a pay increase. 
    Posted by dnbeach12
    Didn't realize this board was for an english lesson but thanks for the notice.
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  • Beachy730Beachy730
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Should we make it legal before the wedding date?:
    In Response to Re: Should we make it legal before the wedding date? : Didn't realize this board was for an english lesson but thanks for the notice.
    Posted by Gismo123
    Yeah well if you want to be taken seriously on these boards spelling and grammar is a great start.  I find it hard to believe in all the ridiculousness posted in this thread about getting married for the money and letting the military pay for the wedding, the one things you're going to point out is that anyone would be upset with a pay freeze. 
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Should we make it legal before the wedding date?:
    In Response to Re: Should we make it legal before the wedding date? : Yeah well if you want to be taken seriously on these boards spelling and grammar is a great start.  I find it hard to believe in all the ridiculousness posted in this thread about getting married for the money and letting the military pay for the wedding, the one things you're going to point out is that anyone would be upset with a pay freeze. 
    Posted by dnbeach12

    Why should I mention the other points?  They've been beaten to death already and to give my 2 cents on them wouldn't matter...not that my opinion matters on the other issue either I just wanted to point out that I'm sure other people would complain whether they were married for benefits or not, you can't sit there and tell me that every single Active Duty person would just say "well it's the governemtn so I'm going to be happy about not getting a raise".  I'm sure they would put up a stink too.

    And just because I had some mispelled a couple words doesn't mean I shouldn't have my opinion heard or taken seriously....Spelling happens to be my weakest subject big deal.....if you're going to worry about how people spell on a chat board it makes me wonder why kind of life issues you have in your life offline.  It seems like if someone doesn't agree with your opinion you're quick to attack them in any defense you can come up with.  I have nothing personally against you and if I was religious I would say I'd pray for you but I'm not so I won't....but I will not talk bad about someone I do not know because I do believe in Karam.  Good luck to you.
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  • Beachy730Beachy730
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Should we make it legal before the wedding date?:
    In Response to Re: Should we make it legal before the wedding date? : Why should I mention the other points?  They've been beaten to death already and to give my 2 cents on them wouldn't matter...not that my opinion matters on the other issue either I just wanted to point out that I'm sure other people would complain whether they were married for benefits or not, you can't sit there and tell me that every single Active Duty person would just say "well it's the governemtn so I'm going to be happy about not getting a raise".  I'm sure they would put up a stink too. And just because I had some mispelled a couple words doesn't mean I shouldn't have my opinion heard or taken seriously....Spelling happens to be my weakest subject big deal.....if you're going to worry about how people spell on a chat board it makes me wonder why kind of life issues you have in your life offline.  It seems like if someone doesn't agree with your opinion you're quick to attack them in any defense you can come up with.  I have nothing personally against you and if I was religious I would say I'd pray for you but I'm not so I won't....but I will not talk bad about someone I do not know because I do believe in Karam.  Good luck to you.
    Posted by Gismo123
    I don't know what Karam is.

    And yes, I do feel that spelling and grammar are important in a message board.  The only way anybody knows anything about you on these boards is by how you present yourself.  When you type with no punctuation and crazy misspellings that make it difficult to even comprehend your posts, then you come across to me as young and immature.  Sorry if you don't like it, but that's how its portrayed to me.  And you could easily take the 2 seconds it takes to click on the ABC check button that TK so conveniently provides for us on the tool bar under the message box. 

    Just so you know, I don't write the first defense that pops in my head, but clearly I think you do.  I actually take the time to write out my responses so that my point can come across clearly, and its the other person's decision whether they want to take that advice or not.  And seriously, you want to talk about BS defenses?  How is my correcting of spelling related to my offline life in anyway?  Since you clearly want to know, I have no real life issues, unless you want to count my H being deployed.  I have taken my time in high school learning how to properly read and write, then went on to college to get 2 degrees in education.  So yes its pretty easy for me to pick up on spelling.
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  • calindicalindi
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Should we make it legal before the wedding date?:
    In Response to Re: Should we make it legal before the wedding date? : Why should I mention the other points?  They've been beaten to death already and to give my 2 cents on them wouldn't matter...not that my opinion matters on the other issue either I just wanted to point out that I'm sure other people would complain whether they were married for benefits or not, you can't sit there and tell me that every single Active Duty person would just say "well it's the governemtn so I'm going to be happy about not getting a raise".  I'm sure they would put up a stink too. And just because I had some mispelled a couple words doesn't mean I shouldn't have my opinion heard or taken seriously....Spelling happens to be my weakest subject big deal.....if you're going to worry about how people spell on a chat board it makes me wonder why kind of life issues you have in your life offline.  It seems like if someone doesn't agree with your opinion you're quick to attack them in any defense you can come up with.  I have nothing personally against you and if I was religious I would say I'd pray for you but I'm not so I won't....but I will not talk bad about someone I do not know because I do believe in Karam.  Good luck to you.
    Posted by Gismo123
    1) It wasn't that you shouldn't point it out, it was simply a silly argument.  What DNBeach said wasn't that others wouldn't complain, but rather the hypocracy that someone who is bleeding the system for every penny would be the FIRST to complain when the well ran dry.  Of course no one likes when they don't get raises, but it's partially the fault of those who milk the system and thus use its resources unfairly.  If you're going to take pennies out of the jar, don't be surprised when suddenly there's no more pennies for you to take.

    2) If spelling is your worst subject, I assume you're still in high school?  In the grown up world, people respect a person and their opinions more when it's stated gramatically correct.  It reflects on who you are and what worth your words have.  That said, I don't typically criticize the errors in someone else's writing unless it interferes with reading what they wrote.  But it does go to how I view you and your opinion.  That's not just me - in the business world, if you can't write well, you're not even to qualify to be someone's secretary.  If you're not good at it, make an effort to learn. It's essential, not optional.

    3) I'm really curious what followers of Karam believe in Innocent

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  • edited December 2011
    First off, I was not saying that anyone was a gold digger. If you felt that comment was directed at you, then you are probably feeling guilty. I was stating that if you get married for the benefits then you are a military gold digger.

    I have nothing wrong with JOP weddings. My sister had one, and I didn't have a problem with it. Then just a couple of weeks ago she had a VR. I don't mind if they are done right. I have a problem with people making the comments to degrade what they really are,WEDDINGS. I take it personal when people get on here and say signing of the papers, and what ever else people come up with. Like dnb said, there is no such thing as two weddings. You get one. If you want a big fancy wedding, then you wait until it is possible. Not that hard. 

    There was so much mentioned on here. I am going to try my best to remember all of it. If I miss it I will come back and add. The first thing that pops to mind is the person talking extra incomes. I really don't know what to say. I am stunned that you would jump in a conversation that is talking about people marrying for benefits and say that. Now either you did not read the whole thread, or you were begging for someone to think that you were totally ignorant, and to give you a piece of their mind. Either one is not very smart. Just some advice. 

    Honestly, just the thread title pis*ses me off.
     
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  • edited December 2011

    dnb: using spell check wouldn't of worked because obviously I spelled the word correctly just the wrong term...weather vs. whether.....I was always taught not to rely on spell check because of those issues.  I always have someone else read my papers to check for errors,  but I really am not going to ask someone to take time out of their day to re read my typing for an online chat board that is just too silly.

    Cali: I graduated HS over a decade ago but everyone has a weak point and mine is spelling.  I could study words for hours but it's always going to be a weakness in my life and I don't think I should really be knocked for having a weakness, no one is perfect.  I'm not saying you're knocking me just explaining myself as far as why I disliked dnb making me feel like I shouldn't have my opinion heard because of that.

    Overall if all that can be said is that I'm a bad speller then hey I think I'm doing pretty good in my life.

    Edit:  also I meant Karma not Karam in my other post.

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  • Victoria2013Victoria2013
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Should we make it legal before the wedding date?:
    In Response to Re: Should we make it legal before the wedding date? : To the first bolded part, I care because this "me-me-me" attitude and this sense of entitlement gives all military spouses a bad name.  Those of you with this "the world owes me everything I want because my FI or H is out defending our country" creates a stigma about military spouses in general.  Don't believe me?  Go ask civilians around a base.  Go ask the people who run privatized housing complexes.  And to the second bolded part, it stops beign all about what you want the second that you involve other people to your day.  To not care what anyone else thinks of you is just rude and selfish. 
    Posted by dnbeach12

    First off I'm not just a spouse I am an active duty member as well.  With that said I do not think the military owes me or that I'm entitled to anything specifically but I do work my ass off to make sure I help get job done right, so those benefits that I get are well deserved and if they freeze my pay needless to say I will be disappointed.  But spouses are entitled and whatever makes you think they aren't is insane.  As a spouse yourself you should realize this since you are well aware of the daily hardships one has to deal with not to mention deployments.  Second off when I was mentioning that its your day and that it doesn't matter what people think I wasn't referring to my family and friends, I was referring to members of TK because god forbid they do anything but attack other members who were just asking a question, you women feel the need to turn it into something much bigger than it was ever meant to be.  So if not caring what you women think makes me rude and selfish so be it. 

  • Beachy730Beachy730
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Should we make it legal before the wedding date?:
    In Response to Re: Should we make it legal before the wedding date? : First off I'm not just a spouse I am an active duty member as well.  With that said I do not think the military owes me or that I'm entitled to anything specifically but I do work my ass off to make sure I help get job done right, so those benefits that I get are well deserved and if they freeze my pay needless to say I will be disappointed.  But spouses are entitled and whatever makes you think they aren't is insane.  As a spouse yourself you should realize this since you are well aware of the daily hardships one has to deal with not to mention deployments. Second off when I was mentioning that its your day and that it doesn't matter what people think I wasn't referring to my family and friends, I was referring to members of TK because god forbid they do anything but attack other members who were just asking a question, you women feel the need to turn it into something much bigger than it was ever meant to be.  So if not caring what you women think makes me rude and selfish so be it. 
    Posted by Victoria2013
    Seriously we are clearly never going to agree on this issue so I'm giving up on talking about having fake second weddings. 

    As for the entitlement part, I didn't specifically mean you, I mean many military spouses in general.  I quoted you because you asked why I would give an opinion on something that doesn't have anything to do with me.  And no, I think its insane to feel entitled.  We enter into relationships and marriages to men and women in the military (or some into the military themselves) knowing full well what we have to deal with.  I don't think the world owes me anything because my H is in the military.  I'm not the one out there risking my life for other people, he is.  And he is currently deployed so its not like I don't understand or don't know what the life is like.  This is the life I signed up for, taking all the good and bad with it.  If someone feels that the world owes them something for making the choice to marry into the military, then they are delusional.
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  • Victoria2013Victoria2013
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    edited December 2011
    No we don't agree nor will we and just how people take offense to those "demeaning JOPs" people constantly calling the "real" wedding a "vow renewal" is offensive to me.  There isn't a "fake second wedding" just because a couple chooses to JOP.  Many churches do not recognize a JOP wedding as the couple's "real" wedding because it wasn't in front of God.  So maybe you might want to take that into consideration next time.
  • Beachy730Beachy730
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Should we make it legal before the wedding date?:
    No we don't agree nor will we and just how people take offense to those "demeaning JOPs" people constantly calling the "real" wedding a "vow renewal" is offensive to me.  There isn't a "fake second wedding" just because a couple chooses to JOP.  Many churches do not recognize a JOP wedding as the couple's "real" wedding because it wasn't in front of God.  So maybe you might want to take that into consideration next time.
    Posted by Victoria2013
    Then it would be the church's blessing on their wedding.  Not them getting married again.  And yes, I will continue to call it a fake wedding, because that's what it is.  Calling a JOP signing papers is not offensive to me personally, but I'm sure it is to those who had a JOP wedding and only a JOP wedding.  And the "real" wedding would be the first day you say "I Do" to your husband, and sign the marriage license.  And the day you tell the military that you got married, and start collecting BAH for. 
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  • edited December 2011
    I REALLY do not understand this argument that JOP weddings do not include God...does God come up to a courthouse and say "woooaaahhhhh....not allowed in there" and turn around???? Oh wait, we invoke his name while testifying.... Honestly I do not understand this argument, it is one that my brother is currently using and I just don't get it....

    Not to mention, as dnb said, a JOP is a WEDDING...whatever happens after that is not a wedding, you are wedded to one another...
  • amber2123amber2123
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    edited December 2011

    fyi, the military is the one of the only jobs where a raise is expected every year.  If my employer told me "sorry we can't give you a raise this year"  I wouldn't be upset.  But if you do that to the military do you know how many people will freak?  That's the difference.  My opinion might not be popular, but I don't think the military needs a raise every year.

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  • edited December 2011
    I agree amber, and I'm in the military...esp those who are GS ...in my experience about 90% are totally and utterly worthless (at least in the hospital, I cannot tell you how awful the support staff are trying to work as a doctor....sigh!).
  • edited December 2011
    My husband and I got married at the courthouse before we had our vow renewal/Big Wedding. Heck we planned and got pregnant with our daughter right before we even got married. I was a month and a half pregnant when we made it official and then he was deployed to Afghanistan. We had a destination wedding in Orlando when he got back. All our family was there to support us because they love us and they don't ((judge)) us.
     
    It was a wonderful day, and I had all the bells and whistles the first-time brides have. My best friend hosted a (Already a Military bride party) for me she made a cute sash with a photo of me kissing my hubby when he deployed.  I also wore a crown and we went bar hopping. People came up to me and asked what it meant and I told them my story. Out of 15 ladies none of us dropped a dime on drinks that night. We had a blast!!  My husband and I got gifts and were given money. We even registered because we were just starting our lives together albeit a year and a half later. We still needed things for our home. Our guests were so wonderful and gracious and happy for us. Everyone loved meeting our little girl for the first time, and were so happy to see my husband back home safe and sound.
     
    I have met plenty of JOP brides that had Big weddings for whatever reason and I'm happy for them. Personally I don't give a rats bum what people think. All I know is I got to wear a gorgeous gown be with my family and celebrate my marriage and to others like me. Don't worry about what these negative people think just do you. Have fun!! I did..
     
    BTW, Our BAH helps pay for vacations down payments for new cars ect. We save $400 a month after rent and we do what we please with it. Wink
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Should we make it legal before the wedding date?:
    In Response to Re: Should we make it legal before the wedding date? : First off I'm not just a spouse I am an active duty member as well.  With that said I do not think the military owes me or that I'm entitled to anything specifically but I do work my ass off to make sure I help get job done right, so those benefits that I get are well deserved and if they freeze my pay needless to say I will be disappointed.  But spouses are entitled and whatever makes you think they aren't is insane.  As a spouse yourself you should realize this since you are well aware of the daily hardships one has to deal with not to mention deployments.  Second off when I was mentioning that its your day and that it doesn't matter what people think I wasn't referring to my family and friends, I was referring to members of TK because god forbid they do anything but attack other members who were just asking a question, you women feel the need to turn it into something much bigger than it was ever meant to be.  So if not caring what you women think makes me rude and selfish so be it. 
    Posted by Victoria2013

    I am with you on this!   The Military board seems to always have such hostel answers.
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  • Victoria2013Victoria2013
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    edited December 2011
    Its not only the military board.  Its any of boards where if you don't follow as someone has called it "Knottie Rules" you are shunned.  Gosh forbid anybody does something "untraditional" because that is what works for them.  They take all the joy out of these kind of forums, but whatever.
  • Beachy730Beachy730
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    edited December 2011
    If you want pure validation for every bad idea you suggest, try weddingwire or another site.  Our your club boards.  TK is known for giving brutally honest advice, whether you like it or not.  Most people would much rather hear from strangers that what they are doing is a bad idea or offensive than do it at their wedding and have people side-eye them for it.  And most times your family and friends won't tell you the truth because they don't want to hurt your feelings.  Thats why its nice to get the opinions of strangers who will tell you the truth no matter what. 
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  • edited December 2011
    There's a way to be honest and not be mean person about it.  Saying something like "The Military frowns upon stuff like that" is better and more respectable than someone saying "Seriously I hope you're kidding.  If not, you are the prime example of the type of Military bride I hate." Stuff like that is just un called for....people that attack others like that want to start a hostel fight. And Victoria is right, people that bring down others make these forums horrible for others.  Those are the people who should be banned from the forums. 

    You can go ahead and attack me now it doesn't hurt my feelings, I could care a less about someone else's opinion that doesn't even know me.
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  • Beachy730Beachy730
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Should we make it legal before the wedding date?:
    There's a way to be honest and not be mean person about it.  Saying something like "The Military frowns upon stuff like that" is better and more respectable than someone saying " Seriously I hope you're kidding.  If not, you are the prime example of the type of Military bride I hate." Stuff like that is just un called for....people that attack others like that want to start a hostel fight. And Victoria is right, people that bring down others make these forums horrible for others.  Those are the people who should be banned from the forums.  You can go ahead and attack me now it doesn't hurt my feelings, I could care a less about someone else's opinion that doesn't even know me.
    Posted by Gismo123
    Not that I feel the need to explain myself to you, but since you seem to want it fine.  I will post facts, and I will also post opinions.  Fact: The military (and society in general) frown upon secretly getting married to collect benefits and not telling anyone, then having a big fake wedding after.  My opinion: I hate when people do that because its taking advantage of the system, which in turn gives people justification to cut the benefits from the people who truly depend on them.  Saying "if not, you're the prime example of the type of military bride I hate" is not a personal attack on someone, and no grounds for being banned.  It is a harsher opinion?  Yes.  But you can only be nice about the same topic for so long before it just gets aggravating.  Especially when there have been 10 posts on this topic in that past 2 months probably, and basically all end in a "I don't care I'm going to do what I want anyways." 

    Seriously I suggest to anyone complaining about how rude the responses are that you stop posting on an international public message board.  Especially if you want to post on or about such a heated topic.  I don't wrap my responses in rainbows and butterflies anyways, but I especially won't do it for someone looking for advice on how to milk the system so that they can reap all the money and benefits of being married, but "not really be married."
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Should we make it legal before the wedding date?:
    In Response to Re: Should we make it legal before the wedding date? : Not that I feel the need to explain myself to you, but since you seem to want it fine.  I will post facts, and I will also post opinions.  Fact : The military (and society in general) frown upon secretly getting married to collect benefits and not telling anyone, then having a big fake wedding after.  My opinion : I hate when people do that because its taking advantage of the system, which in turn gives people justification to cut the benefits from the people who truly depend on them.  Saying "if not, you're the prime example of the type of military bride I hate" is not a personal attack on someone, and no grounds for being banned.  It is a harsher opinion?  Yes.  But you can only be nice about the same topic for so long before it just gets aggravating.  Especially when there have been 10 posts on this topic in that past 2 months probably, and basically all end in a "I don't care I'm going to do what I want anyways."  Seriously I suggest to anyone complaining about how rude the responses are that you stop posting on an international public message board.  Especially if you want to post on or about such a heated topic.  I don't wrap my responses in rainbows and butterflies anyways, but I especially won't do it for someone looking for advice on how to milk the system so that they can reap all the money and benefits of being married, but "not really be married."
    Posted by dnbeach12

    Well the original poster asked if anyone had done this before and for advice on the subject such as how to go about doing it not for you're opinion or feelings on the matter.  So an answer like "yes people have done it before" would have answered her question just nicely she didn't ask whether or not you approved or what you're opinion was so when you give a nasty and mean opinion don't be so shocked or defensive when other's say you're answer was too harsh.  You asked for it when you gave your opinion that wasn't asked for.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Should we make it legal before the wedding date?:
    In Response to Re: Should we make it legal before the wedding date? : Not that I feel the need to explain myself to you, but since you seem to want it fine.  I will post facts, and I will also post opinions.  Fact : The military (and society in general) frown upon secretly getting married to collect benefits and not telling anyone, then having a big fake wedding after.  My opinion : I hate when people do that because its taking advantage of the system, which in turn gives people justification to cut the benefits from the people who truly depend on them.  Saying "if not, you're the prime example of the type of military bride I hate" is not a personal attack on someone, and no grounds for being banned.  It is a harsher opinion?  Yes.  But you can only be nice about the same topic for so long before it just gets aggravating.  Especially when there have been 10 posts on this topic in that past 2 months probably, and basically all end in a "I don't care I'm going to do what I want anyways."  Seriously I suggest to anyone complaining about how rude the responses are that you stop posting on an international public message board.  Especially if you want to post on or about such a heated topic.  I don't wrap my responses in rainbows and butterflies anyways, but I especially won't do it for someone looking for advice on how to milk the system so that they can reap all the money and benefits of being married, but "not really be married."
    Posted by dnbeach12
    This.

    I don't know what people expect when they post on the boards. You are going to get honest opinions. I don't know about anyone else, but that's what I expect and want. I am not a person to beat around that bush, or tell people what they want to hear. I have an opinion on everything, but it's just that. If my opinion wasn't wanted or needed, then maybe it shouldn't have been posted.
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