Military Brides

Military Brides and two anniversaries?

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Re: Military Brides and two anniversaries?

  • Beachy730Beachy730
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    member
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Military Brides and two anniversaries?:
    In Response to Re: Military Brides and two anniversaries? : Congratulations, and best wishes on your vow renewal!  I'm so glad to see someone who managed to do this rather controversial process (understatement of the day) with honesty and class.
    Posted by calindi
    Ditto this exactly. 
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  • a_rose1021a_rose1021
    First Comment
    member
    edited December 2011
    I disagree! It is what you make it!  My husband and I did a quick JOP wedding before he left for deployment and we are now planning our big day as we speak.  We were not even going to tell anyone we had a JOP wedding and just pretend we were engaged to keep the big day special, until someone said to me> "it is what you make it, its just as special and can be just as exciting either way"  and I agree!  It will be my first time walking down the isle, our first dance, my first dress, ect! The way we are getting away with both dates is that we planned it according so we are having it exactly one day later the following year so its really only one day, but we are counting from this year when we technically got married.  


    In Response to Re: Military Brides and two anniversaries?:
    This is one thing that drives me nuts about the military, because everyone tries to have 2 weddings.  You only get 1 wedding day, at least to the same husband.  If it has to be a JOP wedding, thats your wedding.  It is harder in the military because many times you are forced to marry quickly and lost out on the wedding you had dreamed about, but thats a choice you make.  I think you should either find a way to include more people in your wedding on the beach, or accept that your wedding will only have 6 people.  If you want to celebrate with everyone, then throw a party in the summer and host all of your family and friends, but do not call it a wedding, and do not perform wedding related activities like BMs, cake-cutting, etc, first dance, etc.  I understand about the changing of stations making it difficult, but we had to deal with that as well.  We decided that we wanted our big wedding, so I wasn't on the orders when we moved.  It was a chioce we made though. 
    Posted by dnbeach12
  • calindicalindi
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    member
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Military Brides and two anniversaries?:
    I disagree! It is what you make it!  My husband and I did a quick JOP wedding before he left for deployment and we are now planning our big day as we speak.  We were not even going to tell anyone we had a JOP wedding and just pretend we were engaged to keep the big day special, until someone said to me /> "it is what you make it, its just as special and can be just as exciting either way"  and I agree!  It will be my first time walking down the isle, our first dance, my first dress, ect! The way we are getting away with both dates is that we planned it according so we are having it exactly one day later the following year so its really only one day, but we are counting from this year when we technically got married.   In Response to Re: Military Brides and two anniversaries? :
    Posted by a_rose1021
    A_Rose, I totally get what you're saying.  Your "traditional wedding day" (I put it in quotations because your JOP is legally your wedding day, but I do understand there's a sentimental value to the day with the dress, cake, first dance, etc.) will be a special moment to you because it's all the traditions you dreamed of as a little girl - and it will still be special.  The main thing is that if you felt that it was important to get married earlier by JOP, then you should at least be up front with family and friends.  It could make your "traditional wedding day" a lot less fun if everyone finds out that they were deceived into thinking you were engaged the whole time - they'll feel like they were lied to, and your closest family and friends will probably be hurt that you didn't tell them that you got married.

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    Anniversary

  • Nichelle0716Nichelle0716
    First Comment
    member
    edited December 2011
    First of all, CONGRATULATIONS! =D

    Personally, I think that what anniversaries you celebrate between you & your man is completely up to the two of you. There's no etiquette RULE to what happens between you two, so have at it if you want :) I have to agree with some previous posts though; don't try and get everyone to celebrate with you hehehe

    And as far as the rest of this thread goes, the whole mess about "you're lying, and cheating the system, and being greedy" (i'm paraphrasing ladies, don't get offended), don't mind much of it. no where in here did I read anything you said that would really hint at you getting hitched for the benefits, or because it's easier. I think you are like me, and just wanted to be with your man ^_~   My husband and i were thinking about waiting, but then found out he would be stationed in Italy and decided we would rather be together now, and celebrate with more family and friends later. Everyone knows we are married, we are very proud to be after all! 

     And all this worry over proper etiquette and such is really not something to make such a huge fuss over. There are too many variables. Think about your families, how would they view you having a wedding day celebration that they get to come and be a part of? If you are clear and up front with all of your guests that you and your hubby wanted to celebrate your marriage with a vow renewal ceremony, there should be no issues. ((this ceremony can be done however the heck you want it done, even if it looks JUST like a wedding.. don't mind the comments from those stuck on their high horses about 'well that's different, you can't call it a wedding!' )) Girl, it's you and your man's party, celebrate how you want. and if you ARE indeed worried about peoples opinions of you, or if they will think down on you for celebrating your marriage with a faux wedding, consider things like not asking for gifts. props to the wonderful vow renewal couple above who made donations to St. Jude :) That is a great idea!

     I was married in my father's backyard to my wonderful husband, with all of a dozen people there. yes, THAT DAY is indeed when we were married. We understood the commitment, and never tried to hide it. I have a feeling you are the same :) why hide something so beautiful? My husband and I are planning on having a vow renewal ceremony with all the bells and whistles of the wedding we didn't get to have before. And don't get me wrong, this is not entirely selfish. i think that some of these other ladies may have forgotten that the big white wedding is not just for the bride and groom. What about the Mothers, grandmothers, best girl friends, or dads? I know my mother-in-law was a little peeved at my hubby and i for getting hitched so sudden. Her and the rest of the In-Laws currently live out of country and it wasn't possible for them to attend our quick little "come on baby, lets get married this weekend!" wedding. She wants to be there to celebrate with us. in fact, she was in a similar situation with my Father-in-law that we are in now. so she's understanding to us having a formal occasion at a later date. Also my father, who means the world to me, fought his way through cancer for the opportunity to one day walk me down the isle like every daddy dreams to do. And i want him to be able to do that, and so does he. 


    Well, i've definitely been talking long enough haha so i'll finish up with this:
    Never forget that this is about YOU and YOUR man. Sometimes its ok to chuck the rule book, and do what makes you two happy :D it's about a happy marriage, and a wonderful new life together. May your new husband always come home safely to you. The best of wishes to you both! 


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