Whine and Complain

AmandaSC1988

I'm having a pretty rough day.  It has been a crazy day at work ...and a shiiit hitting the fan bad. Not really my fault as much as one of my developers not going to the right people (up the chain of command so to speak), but it sort of falls back on me.


To top it off I'm just wallowing in self-pity because a girl i know had her homecoming today. I'm just jealous.

And I think I am having an allergic reaction to my laundry soap. Being incredibly itchy where ever my clothing touches my body is getting old. I used to use the "free" stuff because my dad is allergic.. but upon moving out I started using thestuff with dyes/ smells. Yea.  bad idea.

kara811

Amanda, I'm really going to try and put this in a nice way. I've just noticed that  a lot of your posts come off quite whiny and full of complaints about this deployment so far. Are you sure you are doing alright with it? Every single time I see a post of yours, it always has something to do about complaints. Remember that you aren't the only one going through a deployment right now, let alone the SAME deployment. Why wallow in self pity just because another girl's SO is coming home? Our guys haven't even been gone a while yet, we still have  a LONG way to go, you are not helping yourself at all by doing this. 

Beachy730

I just... can't hold it in any longer.  

Seriously Amanda, you need to buck up.  Your H hasn't even been gone a month, and you by far aren't the only one going through that same deployment, or any deployment at all.  My H has been gone for 8 freaking months and you've bitched and complained more about deployment in the past few weeks than i have in 8 months.  Honestly, you sound like "that wife," and one I would never want to be friends with IRL because it's always "woe is me, my life is so hard."  

You've said before that you aren't like this IRL, and I really hope not.  But even if it's only how you vent online, you need to do something about it.  Make friends, join a team or club, see a counselor, do something.  But fvck, it's to the point where I generally just skip over your posts anymore because they are all the same, and all about how much this deployment sucks and how much you miss him.  We get it, he left right after the wedding.  But you knew that.  Many of us had our H's leave right after our weddings as well.  It's part of this lifestyle, and they aren't leaving by choice.  Seriously, and I know this probably sounds mean, but you really make me question how you are going to cut it as a military wife and through deployments.  Even if you only sound like this on here, maybe you need to evaluate how you are putting yourself across.

crownsuperstar

Yes the deployments suck.  I am sorry you are having a crappy day because that makes it all the worse. 

All of that being said there are several of us on here that Hs are deployed and many shortly after the wedding.  My H was one of those to leave just after the wedding.  I think the best advise I was given is just to live life as you would.  So I still go to the bars we like, grill like we love to do, watch the shows that we liked because they all remind me of the fun times we had before he left.  Heck I NYE I walked the "red carpet" holding a picture of him.  So that I could at least have one NYE picture of the two of us together.  I try to not complain too much because I don't want my support group getting tired of me and really who wants to be around a Debbie Downer all of the time.  I mean hell we stopped skyping around April because it was just to annoying always getting cut off and was really more trouble than it was worth.  We do make the most of facebook chat so that is helpful.

I don't want to come off sounding like I am attacking you because that is not the way I want you to take it.  I just know deployments are long (most of the time) and do suck and it sounds like you have just started it.  If that is the cause I would suggest to find something that is going to make you happy and look forward to becuase this could be a very long deployment if there is not something to take your mind off it your H being gone.

*I hope all of that make sense...I am at work and the phones keep ringing.

AmandaSC1988

I'm sorry you feel that way.  I looked back through my posts and I was unaware that complaining about family, my  old apartment and my commute was all coming across as complaining about the deployment. I didn't even think I mentioned him too much except for the weekend he left. Which I think was more of an "empty" feel more than sadness.


Just FYI - I am a happy healthy person. I am sorry I don't think to come here and gush about how fantastic the salad I made was, or how funny HIMYM is... or how much my dog is pretty much amazing.... or how amazing and mouse free my new apartment is....


Sorry it struck such a nerve with everyone. 

ggirl2001

In Response to Re:Whine and Complain:[QUOTE]I'm sorry you feel that way.nbsp; I looked back through my posts and I was unaware that complaining about family, mynbsp; old apartment and mynbsp;commute was allnbsp;coming across as complaining about the deployment. I didn't even think I mentioned him too much except for the weekend he left. Which I think was more of an "empty" feel more than sadness.Just FYInbsp; I am a happy healthynbsp;person. I am sorry I don't think to come here and gush about how fantastic the salad I made was, or how funny HIMYMnbsp;is... or how much my dog is pretty much amazing.... or how amazing and mouse free my new apartment is....Sorry it struck such a nerve with everyone.nbsp; Posted by AmandaSC1988[/QUOTE]
Soooo 3 people tell you the same thing but they are all wrong. Maybe it's the fact that it seems you are upset about everything and that doesn't seem healthy. Like you said, all your posts have been complaints.

Beachy730

Saying your wallowing in self pity because someone else has a homecoming is not healthy either. Ever since your H left you have pretty much complained about everything possible since then. Things that suck, sure, but are part of life. Honestly you have had such a negative vibe in almost every post since before your wedding when you said it was bittersweet cause he was leaving right after. No, it doesn't sound healthy, and sounds like some level of depression. If you really think we have it so wrong then that's fine. But 4 people have now agreed and said the same thing, but we all don't know what we are talking about. I hope it isn't as bad IRL as you portray on here, but we can only see what you put across.

kara811

Okay well I guess I won't be so nice anymore as I was clearly wrong among with 3 other people. Amanda, do you really think complaining about everything in life is normal? It's not healthy at all and you've been this way for a while so you might want to check back a few more months. I understand this is your first deployment that is why I haven't said anything til now but it gets tiring and honestly it's a bit worrisome as it does seem like you might have a depression problem. Also, I recall you saying you joined another spouse group where they just shiiet rainbows and sunshine everywhere, sorry we aren't doing that here but I thought you actually liked that....

crownsuperstar

Like I have said before or maybe not because I just try not to think about it all of the time but my H is deployed. You really should focus on something that will take your mind off of things. It may not seem like it to you but a lot of what you say here will creep into your everyday life without you knowing. I will say there's nothing wrong with talking to someone. I was lucky enough for H's Commander to sit and chat with me because this was my first deployment. Also at the end of the day H tells me everything will be fine. Do I believe all of that...maybe not but it helps.

ggirl2001

Dude, instead of jumping right to being offended and getting defensive, take a second to think about why several people think this. Maybe its something you haven't noticed but like crown said is creeping into your life little by little. Wouldn't you rather know than wait until you're so depressed and can't figure out why? Im sure it's not clinical depression, but still could be situational and talking to someone in person about it can be helpful.

crownsuperstar

I will say talking to someone at the beginning made all of the difference. I did this the minute I found H was deploying because I wanted to talk with someone that had experience. I can say that because of the support I had makes me want to work on post to help other families.

CAB1217

Amanda. If you don't want Internet strangers to think you're depressed or whiny or whatever, then don't post so many negative and whiny things. As simple as that. We don't know your life other than what you share with the group. It's not that anyone is picking on you, it's that you're putting out a lot of "whoa is me" and it's really frustrating. Sorry, I've written this like 5 times to be as nice as possible and this is the best I can do.