Military Brides

Boutonnieres and Retired Military?

Okay.... So this I guess is a two part question.

So my brother is in the Marines and will be standing with me in lieu of bridesmaids during the ceremony. He really want's to wear his uniform during for the wedding. My FI is retired Airforce and he's not sure whether or not he wants to wear his uniform b/c he's retired and doesn't know if it will look funny since he's a civilian now. 

But, ever since my brother said he wanted to wear his uniform I think my FI feels pressure to wear one, too, so that he's not "upstaged" by just wearing a tux. What should I do? 

Should I ask my bro to just wear a tux or tell my FI to wear his uniform? And is wearing your uniform after retirement bad etiquette?

My bro just got out of bootcamp and is really proud of his new uniform so I understand why he wants to wear it. But, I also understand where my FI is coming from. 

Second part is if they both decide to wear their uniforms, are Boutonnieres typically put on them or no?
"Love is like a butterfly; It goes where it pleases and pleases where it goes" David & Roxy March 2, 2013 Wedding Countdown Ticker

Re: Boutonnieres and Retired Military?

  • Boutonnieres are never authorized for wear on any uniforms so that's a no go.

    As far as what they wear, first have your FI decide what he would like to wear.  If he wants to wear a tux, ask your brother to do the same.  I'm a retired vet with 26 years in and a firm believer that the uniform should be "invited" to be worn at a civilian event, I don't think someone should just decide they are wearing their uniform as a member of your wedding party.
  • I'm sure if you voiced your concerns to your bother he'd likely see your side. I feel like that would go over a lot better than saying, "you're wearing a tux because I said so." Then again, I don't know your brother's personality.
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  • You have to remember that to military members, and Marines especially it seems, the dress blues IS their tux. It's their formal attire for any occassion, but especially something as formal as a wedding more specifically his sisters. The day is about you and your husband, and your brother in his blues shouldn't draw away from that if you let it. If you're really that against him wearing his blues then I'm sure he'll throw a tux on, but that's what civilians do and he's not a civilian, which is why he's pushing the blues.
  • In Response to Re: Boutonnieres and Retired Military?:
    I'm a retired vet with 26 years in and a firm believer that the uniform should be "invited" to be worn at a civilian event, I don't think someone should just decide they are wearing their uniform as a member of your wedding party.
    Posted by kmmssg
    This, exactly
    Praying for a miracle!
  • Are you willing to pay for your brother's tux if you ask him to not wear his uniform?  Some people don't see the point in renting a tux if they already have a formal uniform.  
    As far as your FI, it is perfectly acceptable for him to wear his uniform, if that's what he wants.  


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  • He can wear his uniform.  No flowers on uniforms.  My husband is wearing his to give away the bride. He is retired.  bride wanted it that way.
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