Next possible duty station....KOREA

valentina+ignacio09

Im scared. I've never been out of the country. Any tips?

calindi

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, and I could definitely be wrong, but isn't Korea currently unaccompanied?  Or is that just the Marine Corps?  Meaning the service member goes, but the family doesn't.

As far as going out of the country, I've lived in China and it was definitely an adjustment.  I would read up on culture shock as a theory and learn as much as you can about the local culture (the Culture Shock!: Korea book is probably pretty good - I read the Culture Shock!: China book and it helped a lot).  Basically, in the beginning people are either nervous or excited - they're either afraid of everything new or excited by everything new.  Try to be one of the people excited by everything new - look at it as an adventure!  You'll only be there a limited period of time, so you might as well try to soak up the experience and make it a good one. 

The next stage is usually dislike of the host culture - you are annoyed easily by the things that are different, you idealize your home culture and what you left behind, basically you're miserable.  I know that's tough to hear, but almost everyone who lives overseas goes through this phase.  This is what is referred to as "culture shock".  Just know that it's temporary, and usually lasts no more than 4-6 months.  The best thing you can do is to know that the phase is natural and normal, try to learn more about the host culture rather than just instantly dislike it, remind yourself that the world hasn't changed - you're just in a different place for a bit.  Just knowing it's temporary usually helps alleviate the stress.  Find fun things to do or things that remind you of home - luckily American culture is pretty pervasive, so you'll probably find a restaurant with comfort foods from home (even if they aren't great) or a grocery store that stocks Kraft Mac 'n Cheese or something, and always a Starbucks or a McDonalds or a KFC.  Frequent places that make you comfortable, but be sure not to isolate yourself from the local culture or else the culture shock will take longer.  Take classes in the local language and try to meet and get to know locals - it'll help and make the experience more fulfilling.

The good news is after the initial dislike comes acceptance - you see the new culture for its goods and bads, and you are more objective about home (it isn't perfect, and there's things you'll miss, but you'll also be able to see what's nice about where you currently are, too.).  This is the fun part because you can just enjoy where you are and at the same time miss where you're from without it being overwhelming.

I hope I didn't scare you more - read up on culture shock and Korean culture.  I have two friends who moved over there to teach English and LOVE it!

valentina+ignacio09

We will be going together after the wedding. Certain duty staions allow spouses. And the one we were assigned to would alow me to come along. But its sometimes prefrence. If he goes alone, he would only be there for one year. Then he comes back and we get to choose our next duty station. Or I can come along and be there for 3 years. It all depends of peoples needs, some dont want to go. I really want to go. But im scared and nervous. In a good way I guess. He was stationed there before and Its good that he knows the customs and culture.

calindi

Okay, cool.  Well if you're excited to go, then you'll be fine!  I get being scared and nervous - I didn't let myself think about moving to China until I was literally on the plane because I was afraid I'd chicken out.  I nearly had a panic attack on the plane when I realized that I wouldn't be heading back for 6 months.  But I gotta say, it was honestly the best thing I've ever done for myself.  I learned so much, it opened my mind to other cultures in a whole new way.

Make a list of things you want to do or try when you get there.  Build on that list when you move there and keep it on the fridge or somewhere you can see it.  Embrace local cuisines - it's realllllllly hard to try to cook the same ol' stuff all the time that you're used to when the ingredients will totally change.  Asia doesn't have a lot of milk, and it's very expensive.  Embrace the soy!

I'm curious which duty stations allow spouses (and if any of them have USMC JAGs) since Korea would by far be both my and FI's top choice for duty station.  I reallllllly want to get back to Asia!  I was willing to settle for Japan, but Korea would be awesome.  You'll have to let me know how it goes!

TeamBaby

Yikes!  3 years in Korea is a LONG time.  My husband and I both did 1-yr tours before we met and have already discussed/decided that if one of us came down on orders again, we would most definitely go alone and only do the 1-yr.  Not saying you shouldn't go.  I know the thought of being apart for a year can be scary, but seriously- get a lot of information first.  There are SO many restrictions placed on US servicemembers over there.  You will have a curfew everyday, and traveling is almost impossible.  I had all these visions of traveling the country and learning about history and especially the war, but with all the restrictions in place by the military, not much of that was even possible. 

Calindi-  I think Camp Humphries is going to be the main hub for all servicemembers over there soon.  (At least that was the plan when I was there in 06).  There they will allow command sponsored tours.  And there are quite a few places in Yongson that will alow it.

calindi

I do agree with TeamBaby - if the only reason you want to go is so you aren't apart, the 1 year would probably be better.  You could fly Space Available over to visit him, and he could come back to visit you, and there's Skype.  If you DO want to go to Korea, just educate yourself before you go so you know what to expect.

firsttimersluck

I grew up on an Army post in Germany. Most of my friends growing up had lived in Seoul [Korea] as well, and they all said it was the best place ever.
EVERYONE I know that lived there for any given amount of time (usually a full tour so 3 years) miss it terribly and would give anything to get back there.
Don't judge a place before you try it. There is plent of American stuff off post, and on post you will still be surrounded by Americans and English. Look forward to the culture! I'm envious! It's a great station!

shan87

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_next-possible-duty-stationkorea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:acb46f37-f146-4bdb-97f8-c8fcf24c7136Post:8ba31984-4352-4d8c-9f6f-2dc4a3e6218a">Re: Next possible duty station....KOREA</a>:
[QUOTE]Yikes!  <strong>3 years in Korea is a LONG time</strong>.  My husband and I both did 1-yr tours before we met and have already discussed/decided that if one of us came down on orders again, we would most definitely go alone and only do the 1-yr.  Not saying you shouldn't go.  I know the thought of being apart for a year can be scary, but seriously- get a lot of information first.  There are SO many restrictions placed on US servicemembers over there.  You will have a curfew everyday, and traveling is almost impossible.  I had all these visions of traveling the country and learning about history and especially the war, but with all the restrictions in place by the military, not much of that was even possible.  Calindi-  I think Camp Humphries is going to be the main hub for all servicemembers over there soon.  (At least that was the plan when I was there in 06).  There they will allow command sponsored tours.  And there are quite a few places in Yongson that will alow it.
Posted by TeamBaby[/QUOTE]

I dunno about the Army, but the Air Force is actually transitioning to 4 year tours abroad.

Ilumine

LOVED Korea. Want to go back. Traveled tons!

calindi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_next-possible-duty-stationkorea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:acb46f37-f146-4bdb-97f8-c8fcf24c7136Post:bd59640d-c7b7-48b6-a3aa-2c9f3680b6f6">Re: Next possible duty station....KOREA</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Next possible duty station....KOREA : I dunno about the Army, but the Air Force is actually transitioning to 4 year tours abroad.
Posted by shan87[/QUOTE]

I'd be all for this, but that's probably just me!  <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />  But I doubt the Marines will switch to 4 years.  They like moving people around, it seems.  Keep everyone on their toes, ya know?

I have wanderlust and love new cultures and experiences.  I had already started thinking about just moving abroad for a few months at a time when FI deploys (assuming I don't have little ones in school - babies go adventuring with Momma!).  And out of the blue, FI suggested the same thing the other day.  Glad he won't mind!

I have an EU passport, so I could live and work in Europe without a visa.  Germany, Austria, Spain, Ireland, Scotland... man, I could have some fun!  Rent a place for 3 months at a time.  Get a job in a little shop, give tours to English speakers.  I'd LOVE it!  I can also go back to Costa Rica indefinitely - I just can't work legally locally, but I can write and telecommute to do work back in the states.

Hmm... it's so nice to dream of what the possibilities are beyond Miami.

matcha

I have some classmates that are currently in Seoul for a comparative government class.  THEY LOVE IT!  They love the food, the culture- the people are super nice, and fashion is suppose to be really amazing there.  It seems like it'll be a culture shock, but a really fun adventure. I could imagine worse places to be for year!  I love traveling, though.

Everytime I leave the country, I am gripped by a weird fear.  I've done it many times now, but I'm always a bit scared. Then, once I get there, I love it!  I believe it is one of the moments where you have to push outside your comfort zone, but once you do it, it is amazing.  Those scary, painful, personal-development, growing moments.

Take advantage of the amazing opportunities you get while there.  Travel, eat weird food, shop, see shows, get off base! Make a list of things you want to see, do, eat before you leave and make sure you get them crossed off your list. :-)

TeamBaby

In Response to Re: Next possible duty station....KOREA:
[QUOTE]I have some classmates that are currently in Seoul for a comparative government class.  THEY LOVE IT!  They love the food, the culture- the people are super nice, and fashion is suppose to be really amazing there.  It seems like it'll be a culture shock, but a really fun adventure. I could imagine worse places to be for year!  I love traveling, though. Everytime I leave the country, I am gripped by a weird fear.  I've done it many times now, but I'm always a bit scared. Then, once I get there, I love it!  I believe it is one of the moments where you have to push outside your comfort zone, but once you do it, it is amazing.  Those scary, painful, personal-development, growing moments. Take advantage of the amazing opportunities you get while there.  Travel, eat weird food, shop, see shows, get off base! Make a list of things you want to see, do, eat before you leave and make sure you get them crossed off your list. :-)
Posted by matcha[/QUOTE]

This is a completely different situation.  US servicemembers are under a whole different set of rules/laws.  We don't have nearly the same freedoms as Americans just living over there on the economy.  There were many aspects that I enjoyed during my time there, however it was by far my least favorite place of all the countries I've visited.  There are a lot of things you need to take into consideration before jumping in head first.  ie Where are you going to be stationed?  Will you be allowed to have a car (just because you're command sponsored, doesn't mean you will), will you have on or off post housing?  (again the car issue is very important here).  In some commands, it takes an act of congress to get a pass to travel over the weekend.  With the curfew imposed on the servicemembers, it requires you to be indoors by 11pm on weekdays and 1am on weekends.  Another thing to consider is what will be available to YOU as the spouse?  Korea is not a family friendly assignment in all locations, therefore health care may include much more red tape than usual.  And there may not even be any type of FRG support (or may not even be too many other spouses that you can hang out with).  And as much as I hate to say this, your husband's rank is going to make a big difference.  It's unfortunate, but if he's an officer, you guys will probably have a much more enjoyable experience than if he's junior enlisted (like an E5 or below).  Just ask a lot of questions and get as much info as you can first.  1 year is not bad, and you can always visit throughout that time. 

matcha

Teambaby is totally right, make sure you understand the rules and regulations you'll be under while living as part of the US military. 

But, there are lots of opportunities in Seoul.  It could be a great adventure if you come in with the right mindset and the right information.  If you chose to go, do some research about all the amazing things Korea has to offer and try to get excited!  The fear will be there, but the only thing that can help you through it is information and the right mindset.

SamiJoeB

FTR, my H and I had the option of me going to be with him in Japan (when I separated from AD), but he would have had to extend from 24 months to 36, and he was already miserable.  I just didn't see the point in making him stay somewhere even longer, when he was already miserable.  A year apart is definitely is do-able.  It's not ideal for any marriage, and it's not without difficulties, but for our relationship it works better for us.

shan87

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_next-possible-duty-stationkorea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:acb46f37-f146-4bdb-97f8-c8fcf24c7136Post:e9749276-afa3-4978-8186-5cee710098e8">Re: Next possible duty station....KOREA</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Next possible duty station....KOREA :<strong> I'd be all for this, but that's probably just me!  </strong>  But I doubt the Marines will switch to 4 years.  They like moving people around, it seems.  Keep everyone on their toes, ya know? I have wanderlust and love new cultures and experiences.  I had already started thinking about just moving abroad for a few months at a time when FI deploys (assuming I don't have little ones in school - babies go adventuring with Momma!).  And out of the blue, FI suggested the same thing the other day.  Glad he won't mind! I have an EU passport, so I could live and work in Europe without a visa.  Germany, Austria, Spain, Ireland, Scotland... man, I could have some fun!  Rent a place for 3 months at a time.  Get a job in a little shop, give tours to English speakers.  I'd LOVE it!  I can also go back to Costa Rica indefinitely - I just can't work legally locally, but I can write and telecommute to do work back in the states. Hmm... it's so nice to dream of what the possibilities are beyond Miami.
Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]

I am all for it as well. H is not. We have quick a few things to consider but even then I'll all for it. I studied abroad and would LOVE to go back. But that was during my care free college days.