I need some Advice Ladies!

Luke&Sam625

My FI is getting a week a leave to come home from Japan!! I couldn't be more excited!! but.. This will be the last time I get to spend with him till he comes home for the wedding in December.  And My parents just decided that they want to fly ACROSS the country to come see him too. I understand that they want to see him, but I've been at my duty station for almost 6 months and they've never once offered to come see me. Not only that, but this is MY last week with him before the wedding. We're already spending 2 days with his parents, now 3 days with mine, that only leaves us 2 days with each other. Not to mention the jet lag he's going to have, I just hate taking my leave days, and then coming back to work more stressed and tired than I was when I left!! The last tim e he was home, the only alone time we got was the 3 hours at the airport before our flights, and those were not happy times!! Am I being selfish?!

mebaker87

You have everyright to be selfish...you deserve more time with him then the 3 hours at the airport! I feel the same why when my FI comes home, he is always going around and spending time with family that i feel like i never get to just have a moment alone with him. When he comes home we try to have one day/night where we get a hotel and tell no one were there and turn off our cell phones, bring no computers...then we just sit around talking playing board games and watching movies...ordering room service and having our own little indoor picnic. Try it...it can be a lot of fun and you makes some great memories.

hbs2003

no you are not being selfish. I understand him seeing his parents. but yours i think can wait to see him. you need to spend as much time with him as possible! maybe you should talk to your parents and explain to them that its a very long flight for him, he will be seeing his parents and then you want to be able to relax with him adn spend time with him before he has to go back. im taking vacation time off to spend with mine before he deploys too adn u better believe im monopolizing all his time before he goes that week lol. he is going to his parents another weekend so that week hes all mine.

kaynix21

You are so not being selfish!

You parents are probably using his visit as an excuse to see you too. But maybe they'll understand if you explain like hbs said.

Maybe suggest another weekend for them to come see you.

Luke&Sam625

I worked out a compromise!! We promised to video chat/skype with them for a while and to take lots of pictures!! Thanks for understanding Ladies!! It's nice to have a place for friends that will take your side!!

LissaBen7210

You are not being selfish at all. I know exactly how you feel. I never get to see my fiance because he is stationed in Hawaii and when he comes home we have to spend so much time with his family and so much time with mine because everyone wants to see him and I feel the same way. You want to be with him as long as possible. You have a void that needs to be filled. Especially with you seeing him this time and not again until December. My fiance came home for Christmas for 2 weeks and then I wouldn't see him until July 2nd for our wedding. It was hard and it made me want to keep him to myself all the more. It's really hard. I would try talking to your parents and explain how you feel and what ur going through. If you need anything contact me! I'm here!

lanyemichelle

No, not selfish at all. I know, because I'm the queen of selfish haha. My fiance' gets to see his family about four times a year and they are an EXTREMELY tight knit family so the separation is tough on them. I stick with the mantra 'I go where you go' and we get our alone time at night and the few days we see my family (I live with my family in Arkansas, his family lives in Missouri, and he goes to school at West Point in New York).

I say, find your time and make some time for HIS family. Your family can do with a few days without him (if you are okay with turning them away). My family could care less how much time they spend with my fiance'. They try to facilitate our personal time because we don't get much.

The way I see it, your relationship with your fiance is a tad more important than his relationship with your parents, so just figure out what YOU want and make it happen.