Military Brides

Navy wedding help!

Hi everyone,

Im getting married in September and my Fiance just graduated from A school friday. He has yet to let anyone in the military know that he's getting married and its kind of making me nervous. I understand the navy has paperwork that needs to be done prior to marriage and i dont know how long the process is. He's currently on hold till he gets his orders to go for his C school which can be a couple  months or several months. Has anyone been through something similar or has any information that couple help me or when he should start letting his superiors know would really help me!!! Thanks!

Re: Navy wedding help!

  • While I'm not too familiar with the Navy (FI is Air Force), I would guess he should let his superiors know as soon as possible (or, as my FI said when I asked him, "Yesterday. He should let them know yesterday."). It might be more difficult because he's still bouncing between schools and may not have a permanent command or station yet, but he needs to talk to someone, now. I know there's a ton of paperwork, and he needs to figure out what he should do, because he'll have to ask for leave as well. 

    However, do you have any idea when his C school would start? Or at least how long it lasts once he starts it? If it didn't start until the first of July, and let's say it was 3 months, that puts him back at the very start of September, meaning that if there were any delays at all, or injuries, or he had to retake something, he might not make it back in time. When my FI went active, he immediately went to his first assignment (ASBC) and then it would have been two months before he even started his next school (IFS), but then he hurt his shoulder and it ended up being almost 7 months before he could go. What happens if your FI gets orders and it's two months until his C school starts? 

    I, and most ladies here, say to wait until he reaches his first permanent duty station to start planning, and that's sound advice. However, if you already have things reserved and money down, I'd try very hard to get some military clauses in my contracts.  
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  • Well other mates have been on hold 6-16 months before heading out to their C school, so he says it should be fine but of course anything makes me nervous specially since we have family coming from out of town and out of the country.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_navy-wedding-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:ba29f1fb-03a7-48f2-a4a9-18677a896f68Post:62d95e2a-cd78-4a6b-b31c-20b5bb18e56e">Re: Navy wedding help!</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>Well other mates have been on hold 6-16 months before heading out to their C school, so he says it should be fine </strong>but of course anything makes me nervous specially since we have family coming from out of town and out of the country.
    Posted by ljimenez4[/QUOTE]

    <div>There's also probably many others who have left within 0-6 months, so he should never count on being "fine."  Especially with the military he needs to learn that nothing is ever set in stone.  Personally I wouldn't be planning anything until he gets to his first station and finds out a schedule.  Or at least until he gets his orders for school.  </div>
    imageBabyFruit Ticker
  • Yeah...I would listen to these ladies and be careful. Don't have a wedding all planned, down payments paid and venues set without knowing that he will absolutely positively be able to come home and be there.

    FI is Army, so I am sure it is very different. He is also much further along than your FI. However, we were still let down on his leave dates multiple times. He kept applying for leave, getting it "approved", then getting it turned down. This happened three times before they finally approved it for good. Honestly, that left us only about 4 months to plan and book everything, but we used the time while we were waiting to do all of things that we could, like picking out dresses, ordering, tuxes, looking at different ideas as far as catering and cakes. We also looked around at different venues, just didn't officially book anything.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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  • I would seriously wait.  Unless he has orders in hand with dates on them, nothing is set in stone.  Even then, things can change.  I would wait until he gets to his first duty station, knows what his schedule is and then start planning.  
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  • I ditto the waiting until he gets to his first duty station. I know that for H ( a Marine) when he went to his schools he also had delay at schools. For example, he went to Cali for school in October but school didn't actually start until January. (this was a few years ago, but just an example of the timeline). 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_navy-wedding-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:ba29f1fb-03a7-48f2-a4a9-18677a896f68Post:10fabe5f-a1bb-4638-a245-ec46db0f24e5">Re: Navy wedding help!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I ditto the waiting until he gets to his first duty station. I know that for H ( a Marine) when he went to his schools he also had delay at schools. For example, he went to Cali for school in October but school didn't actually start until January. (this was a few years ago, but just an example of the timeline). 
    Posted by ggirl2001[/QUOTE]

    Yup, listen to ggirl on this one. My FI is also Marines so I don't know what it's like for Navy. But about 3 years ago while FI was in his MOS schooling it was only supposed to take a few months. He also was supposed to start in October, but didn't even get picked up until January. Fast forward to 6 months later when he ACTUALLY got done. Schooling and training can get pushed back all the time. Sometimes their school is backed up and all they can do is wait. Literally. It can take anywhere from a matter of weeks, to months, depending on how long his school is and whether or not it's backed up.

    I agree with PP's and say it's wise to wait to plan anything until your FI is finished with all his schooling/training and gets to his PDS. The reason being because you really don't know what the timeline will be like and you don't want to have all your deposits down on venues and such only to find out that your FI's school got pushed back and he won't be able to come home for another few months. It will save you alot of headache.

    Good luck!
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  • Another vote for waiting until after he gets to his first duty station.
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  • Wait if at all possible! I know I am not telling you anything anyone else hasn't already told you, but I'm throwing my vote in there as well! My FI is Navy and we had a schedule as to when we would get engaged and then married and then report to the his next DS. Yeah, that all went to crap two days into deployment. Always expect everything to change. For me, until I am walking down the aisle, I know that I won't completely be comfortable with the date I've got planned for my wedding. 
  • My FI is an e5 in the navy. He said you just have to bring in the marriage certificate afterwards. He's been married before. But if you plan on leaving the country for your honeymoon I would start that process soon. He had to fill out a lot of paperwork and do a 16 hour online session. Plus meetings, etc.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • My husband is in the Navy. What rate is your FI? H did have all his paperwork and everything filled out before we it married. Makes everything much easier when he returns especially since he's still in training. Once he's at his permanent station things are much more lax. He's probably going to have to take marriage prep classes so the sooner he starts his paperwork the better! Do you know if he's staying at the same command for A school and C school ex. corpsman or if he's going to a different training command for C school?
  • In response to your post..  My soon-to-be is also a chief in the navy.  When we spoke about  this he also said, your soon-to-be needs to tell who ever he reports to on a daily basis what is going on ASAP!!   It is extremely important for the navy to know so that you can get enrolled in all for all the benefits of being wife and making sure you both get all the help you need..  There is a lot of paperwork and other tasks involved. 
    The longer he waits, the harder it is for the navy to support him and you!  The longer he waits, the more of "crisis " it will be come in getting the time off for him to even be present for your wedding!  Trust me! We have foregone our honeymoon due to the navy.  Make him speak to his reporting officier as soon as possible.  It is better for everyone in the long run.    :)

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