Major Vent

calindi

So.... I got fired today.

Because (and I quote... well, at least paraphrase), "You don't seem to have your main focus on work.  I think since you're engaged, you're probably more focused on your wedding.  And as a company, we need to think about these things.  We can't have you treading water here for 15 months and then getting married and moving away to some army base."

Never mind I've been working there for over a year and my own supervisor doesn't know my FI is a Marine.  Never mind that this is totally sexist because they wouldn't fire a man for getting engaged and discriminatory for being a military significant other who is bound to move eventually.  Key word being eventually.

I'm pissed.  Really, really pissed.  Mostly hurt, but also pissed!

So, back job hunting again.  Whoopy.  That's always so much fun.  Not.

Beachy730

I'm so sorry Calindi, that's horrible.  That just sounds all kinds of wrong on their part.

Sammy0709

This really doesn't seem like an appropriate or valid reason to fire someone.  Maybe that's why I'm not a business owner.  IDK.  I don't blame you for feeling the way you do, especially if you have been a reliable employee since you have been there.

shan87

Well the plus side is they sound pretty unethic and who wants to work for an unethic company??

melbelle24

I don't know a lot about business... but is that even legal?

SarahP787

I wondered if that was legal too! I think it really might be, unless you'd want to fight the sexism angle... but it's DEFINITELY not ethical! In fact, I'd consider that bullshit. Which really ought to be a crime.

That's really awful though

mob2689

I would have had them put that in writing, and like some said is that legal and get that checked out! That is horrible!!! I am so sorry that happened! Please tell me it's not a big chain company, if so I will make SURE never to buy or use them. So unethical! I would be pissed as well! Well k beyond pissed.

ESquared423

What in the world, what kind of reasoning is that?! I'm sorry you had such a rotten day. At least now you can search for a company that deserves to have you as an employee.

calindi

Thanks ladies, the support means a lot!  I'm not a litigeous person, so I won't be suing anyone.  My FI is a law student, so he already tried to convince me.  I just don't operate like that, and it won't benefit me in the long run as much as staying friendly with them, because they're going to act as a very good reference and tell people that my position simply got eliminated.  I don't WANT to sue anybody.

My (former) boss phrased that pretty attrociously, and the engaged part is carefully veiled sexism because I can't PROVE he wouldn't do that to a guy, and it's REASONABLE to assume someone who is engaged will have a wedding to plan.  So it's a thin line.  And it's not protected like pregnancy under labor laws. 

And the military part is illegal if I were already a military spouse - as a fiancee, I have no rights under the discrimination against service members laws.

I do know when I interview at new places, I will NOT be wearing my engagement ring and I will NOT mention to anyone when I get hired that he's in the military (though I don't know how to keep that under wraps, since it's such a big part of our life and his identity.

ETA:  Not a chain.  I worked for a small magazine in the events department.  What basically happened is we had an event tank (through no fault of anyone - just bad timing - but they should have cancelled it early).  They lost a lot of money, so they needed someone to blame.  Voila!  My fault for getting engaged!

Victoria2013

Hmm since you don't want to take the legal side (understandable) there has to be something you can do to eliminate business.  I hate shopping, utilizing, whatever the case may be businesses that don't support the military.  I'm overseas and there are places now that I won't shop at because they won't ship to an APO address and I'm sure there are plenty other people (civilians included) that would have the same stand point. 

I'm very sorry for the way this company treated you and hope you find a better job!  Good luck and hopefully they will come to learn what an employee they lost and regret their decision!

iluvmy0341

I would really report them. They can't fire you for that reason. I see it happen all the time here in Camp Lejeune and no one reports them. I actually reported a woman I was working for to corporate for her atitude/language with a customer, and she got fired

Avion22

In some states, it's legal to fire someone for whatever reason you want.   It really just depends on the laws in your state.  Of course, what they did isn't ethical.  But say, perhaps they lost so much money on the event that went badly that they had to do cutbacks....that would be a legitimate (and ethical) reason.

But yeah, if you don't want your boss to know, then just don't talk about your personal life at all.  It sucks, but you can do it. 

KatyRoseM

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_major-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:ddc5bd26-6ebd-4cad-8712-43a8de70dc21Post:3edfa367-af12-4a0f-b222-5640ace80c9a">Re: Major Vent</a>:
[QUOTE]In some states, it's legal to fire someone for whatever reason you want.   It really just depends on the laws in your state.  Of course, what they did isn't ethical.  But say, perhaps they lost so much money on the event that went badly that they had to do cutbacks....that would be a legitimate (and ethical) reason. But yeah, if you don't want your boss to know, then just don't talk about your personal life at all.  It sucks, but you can do it. 
Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]

This isn't entirely true.  There are federal laws about employment (Title 7, ADA, and so on).  They do only apply to companies of a certain size, but no state can allow a company of over 20 people to fire someone because or race, sex, religion or national origin.  This is just an example, and of course you have to prove it. 

kara811

So sorry about what happened.That's so terrible,and I'd be feeling the same way as you. 

shan87

I can tell you that I was not hired because my then Boyfriend was in the Air Force. I hadn't planned on telling them but they asked some very pointed questions where I felt I was forced too. One of the men interviewing me had a son at the very same flight school as FI. He knew what I was in for, which I saw as hurting me.

In the end. It's better to work for those whose support yourself and your spouse. Calindi I wouldn't tell them about your engagement to a Marine unsolicated but I wouldn't hide it if they ask. Because when you put in your notice (when he gets his perm./semi perm base) then they will find out.

Alice and Les

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_major-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:ddc5bd26-6ebd-4cad-8712-43a8de70dc21Post:058f99ab-cdf6-45f8-a067-a555eb385469">Re: Major Vent</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't know a lot about business... but is that even legal?
Posted by melbelle24[/QUOTE]
I'd look into that. I'm sorry you got fired though

SamiJoeB

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