Military Brides

Hi Ladies - Advice/experience needed

Hi all,

I haven't really been on this board at all, since technically I'm not a military bride - FI is a prior Marine, but he hasn't been active since a couple months before we met. However, he has always been planning to go overseas in some capacity or other for work.

Today, he was approached with an opportunity to go to Afghanistan to work. The job starts in two weeks, and lasts for a year, with 2-3 two week breaks. He is still in school, but is completely qualified for the job from his military experience. He asked for my thoughts, but I'm a little emotionally torn up.

I guess my question is, how do I handle this? The money would obviously be great, but it's all a little shocking - I was planning to have another 6-9 months before he finished his degree and would be getting any kind of job like this. I'm in a bit of shock, to be honest. It feels kind of strange to be asking strangers for advice, but my support system in this regard is minimal, because I am not close to any of his buddies' wives, and none of my friends are really in similar situations.

Any thoughts are welcome.

Re: Hi Ladies - Advice/experience needed

  • That's some short notice. The first questions that popped into my head were: How good is the money? Will having something like this on his resume help him in the future? Could turning it down hurt his chances with certain companies after he finishes school? Is this something he, without reservations, wants to do?

    Another question, that you definitely shouldn't answer on here, because PERSEC, what part of the country is he going into?

    Since reading the news this morning, my view on sending someone over there has changed a bit. While things were never calm and easy, the recent unrest makes me definitely more wary. It's easy to see the rumors can become international incidents when people are already distrustful of Americans (a Youtube video pretty much no one has seen is believed to be a major release, results in chaos--yes I'm simplifying).

    All-in-all, if this is something that's going to be really good for his career, I understand not wanting to stop him, especially if it could have ramifications on his career for years to come. Here's the deal with thinking you have more time to get used to it--you'll never get used to it. It's just putting it off. It's not going to be any easier for him to go in 9 months than it will be now that it would be in two years. Only the two of you together can make those decisions, but don't not do it because you think you'll be somehow ready for him to go in less than a year. 
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  • Thank you for your insight.

    Those are all great questions that I do not know the answers to, and would be great to discuss with him.

    And I do realize that it's not going to be easier later, but at least it won't be such short notice. We are currently long distance to begin with, so he wouldn't even be coming "home" to me at this point. It's all kind of up in the air. I personally do much better when I have time to prepare myself.

    Thanks again.

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