B List Invites?

shayNnik

Well I"m pretty sure my final numbers are in.

89 invited
~60 confirmed
~10 can't put a pre-stamped RSVP back in their friggin mailboxes.

So, anyone going to be in the Denton, TX area next month? We have room :-)

Irishcurls

Ugh, have you made the dreaded phone call/emails to those morons? "Hey! Hope you had a great Thanksgiving! Yeah I ate too much pie too. While I have you, we're finalizing our numbers for the caterer and we didn't receive your RSVP. Are you and Uncle Tommy able to make it?" That was the worst part of wedding planning....

kara811

At least you don't have to call as much people. I think we only receieved half of the RSVPs of people who actually attended our day. Although I didn't track them all down, the IL's, my mom and H did some work too! I know it can be quite frustrating though! 

calindi

Did you call the 10 who can't figure out how to send mail?

B-list is always so tricky.  I've seen friends do it as well as can be, but it's seriously frowned upon.  I've been b-listed twice, and didn't mind either time.  Both times, the bride was a buddy, not a close friend, and she explained that she had so much family that she didn't get to invite all her friends, and then a week or so before told me that they had extra seats that they already had to pay for, so she'd love it if I could come.  I went, because I knew she meant it.  I wouldn't have gone if it would have cost her more per-head, but since she had already paid for more spaces than she had people, it was a free meal for me and open bar and I got to hang out with some buddies and see her in her wedding dress.  But yeah, feelings can get hurt if you invite X & Y friends from a social group, but then invite Z last minute.

shayNnik

They are all friends of parents(that were around us growing up) so we put it on the parents yesterday! I'ts only 3 families, and we are doing a big wedding no-no and not having a caterer(I can hear the etiquitte board gasping way over here!). The only thing FI really put his foot down on was the food. He didn't want to pay someone to cook us crappy food when our families are known for their good recipes. After about a month of disagreeing, I finally gave in. I got my wine and a good DJ, so I'm good to go.

kara811

I'm not going to lie, we had a B list too I guess. It was all my mother's friends though. We had to pay for at least 100 people at our venue, we invited 140, and we were supposed to be at a little over 100, but a few weeks before the wedding, some of our relatives took their RSVPs back and said they couldn't make it(they had to fly and stay in hotels, and it was a NASCAR weekend so it made things more expensive). Others were H's friends whose leave weren't approve. So my mother found out and said she wants to invite her girlfriends and their husbands, the ones she couldn't invite before since I had given her a limit for her friends. I didn't want her to do it at first since it's rude but we were going to pay for 100 people regardless, and in my mother's mind it would be such a waste of money. Also, not to badmouth my culture, but Filipinos don't mind being B listed, it's always done in so many weddings. I didn't feel as bad either since there was more than enough time, maybe like 4-5 weeks before the wedding date. 

crownsuperstar

I was totally annoyed with the lack of RSVP.  There were some people that I would see on facebook all of the time.  So I sent them a PM and called them out.  Mean- sure but I needed numbers.  HA!   In the end, I had a pretty real number and all was good. 

I was a B list invite one time via e-mail from this girl I used to work out with.  It really annoyed me and I didn't go and didn't send a gift.  However, I will never see her again so what I really was not missing a whole lot.  Oh and I was doubly annoyed that she invited three out of the eight girls that worked out with us via a form invite. 

Irishcurls

Are you doing a pot-luck style if no caterer? Logistically that would make me nervous!!

shayNnik

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_b-list-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:f014080f-a8d4-4398-9ac4-1e8ab414d582Post:021c8432-7e83-4777-86e9-ac64018d1dda">Re: B List Invites?</a>:
[QUOTE]Are you doing a pot-luck style if no caterer? Logistically that would make me nervous!!
Posted by Irishcurls[/QUOTE]
Sort of. FI's dad is making one meat, his mom/step dad the other, my dad went crazy and insisted he make something(I think it's some type of fancy macaroni salad? I dunno), his grandmother won 4 years in a row with her potato salad, then I'm making some fancy green beans, baked beans, and we are actually buying some bread from a local restaurant that's ah-mazing.

Luckily, I have outside help. A girl I used to teach in sunday school is now almost finished with culinary school so she's going to coordinate the food, keep it at the right temp, etc. All the parents are doing is smoking the meat the day/night before then just bring it with them when they show up for pics. I have buffet servers(yay for craigslist) so I'll give them those to put the food in, and she'll slice it all up and make it look purty then have it ready for eatin. I love cheap labor :-)

kara811

Will you have enough time to do the dishes you are making? I don't think I would have been able to do all that work too with how busy everything were already. 

shayNnik

I'm only making two things. My beans cook for 24 hours anyway, and the other I'll just put together the day before and wrap it up then she'll put it in the oven when it's time.

I know things are going to come up and probably get crazy, but my OCD has prepared everything I possibly can in advance. The only thing I have the day before is decorating and a quick ceremony run-through(no actual RD except taking MOH and BM out for dinner). and the day of I just have to get ready, show up and have fun. Oh, and that "I DO" part, can't forget that.