Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
New Discussion
Options

Can we talk about sand ceremonies, please?

TheShelleyTheShelley member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
We met with our officiant yesterday.  We are having a very brief ceremony and not doing a lot of the traditional things for our ceremony.  But I have children, and she suggested having a sand ceremony with us and the children to symbolize the unification of the family (I guess).  I sort of like the idea, but I've never seen the sand ceremony done.

I don't know how I feel about this.  I was wondering if anyone is doing one, has done one, or has seen it done?  Could you please tell me what you think about it?  What do you think about doing it with the children?  I could see my kids (especially my youngest) really getting into it and liking it, but I also could see it being strange and falling flat.

What do you think?
Report Reply to Post

Re: Can we talk about sand ceremonies, please?

  • Options
    ZiggyZosZiggyZos member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_can-we-talk-about-sand-ceremonies-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:b7991b5c-01d9-43a5-828e-d0748e43d786Post:7a35edc6-6152-4b0d-b821-0bdc9e2b1bb9">Can we talk about sand ceremonies, please?</a>:
    [QUOTE]We met with our officiant yesterday.  We are having a very brief ceremony and not doing a lot of the traditional things for our ceremony.  But I have children, and she suggested having a sand ceremony with us and the children to symbolize the unification of the family (I guess).  I sort of like the idea, but I've never seen the sand ceremony done. I don't know how I feel about this.  I was wondering if anyone is doing one, has done one, or has seen it done?  Could you please tell me what you think about it?  What do you think about doing it with the children?  I could see my kids (especially my youngest) really getting into it and liking it, but I also could see it being strange and falling flat. What do you think?
    Posted by TheShelley[/QUOTE]

    I've seen sand ceremonies and think they are cute when done between the bride and groom.

    A wedding ceremony is the joining of the bride and groom, and I personally find it inappropriate to involve children in the heart of it. I would find it strange, personally.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    TheShelleyTheShelley member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Yeah, I kind of had that feeling about it too. 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Knottie_22383116Knottie_22383116
    my fiances best friends moms wedding was done with a sand ceremony. I loved it! it was so beautiful and symbolic! :)
    it was the wifes second marriage, so they had her children poor sand to symbolize a joining of a new family.

    Report Reply
  • Options
    AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I like it for the bride and groom, but I am uncomfortable with children participating. Like Ziggy said, the wedding is for the bride and groom; it is not a bonding experience for the family. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    If it were just for the bride and groom, fine, but if you want to have a "bonding experience" that includes your children, I'd do that in private.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    TheShelleyTheShelley member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I understand not wanting to "involve" the kids because the ceremony and vows are between just us.  But we are not doing a wedding party, no aisle, no readings, etc...  and I was worried the kids would feel left out. 

    I never thought about what you were saying about the sand ceremony and the layers, but you're right.  I do like the idea of some kind of unity symbolism--we will be a family after the ceremony, but maybe I like it more in theory than in practice.

    Report Reply
  • Options
    TheShelleyTheShelley member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    It isn't that I don't want to involve them badly enough to include them in the wedding party, we just aren't having one.  We are getting married at a restaurant, not a church.  When the time comes just the FI and I will be standing with the officiant, everyone else will be seated at their tables.

    The short version is, we are doing it very simple and not having a party because it will avoid hurt feelings with family and friends.  None is just simpler.  The kids will be seated with us, so there isn't a head table per se, but I guess we'd be it.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    32daisies32daisies member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    Stage, your point about the actual sand hits the nail on the head for me, btw. If I'm being frank the whole thing isn't my cup of tea, but if it's someone else's... I don't get the theory behind pouring sand in pretty layers that will look nice on the mantel in years to come. If you want to show unity, then mix it up! YMMV, of course.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker

    White Knot


    Report Reply
  • Options
    PeledreamsofrainPeledreamsofrain member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    I considered it for a half second until I read that it was popularized by the Bachelorette.  Then I decided to take my unity needs elsewhere.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

    image

    Anniversary

    Report Reply
  • Options
    TheShelleyTheShelley member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_can-we-talk-about-sand-ceremonies-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:b7991b5c-01d9-43a5-828e-d0748e43d786Post:a0c7d298-c168-4c1c-9e71-0a44805bab4b">Re:Can we talk about sand ceremonies, please?</a>:
    [QUOTE]But if you only have the kids standing with you, surely your friends and family will understand, right?
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    You'd think so...
    Report Reply
  • Options
    brent16sarahbrent16sarah
    First Comment
    Ive have seen the unity sand ceremony before with the bride, groom, and the bride's son. I think it is a good way to unify the family. My fiance and myself are doing it as well, but his daugher is only 2 so she is too young to be involved. So we are going to have her put some gems on the top of it. I love the idea. If you are getting married outside, I suggest having a paper rolled up to put into the opening, this will prevent the wind from interupting. :)

    Hope this helped :)


    see:
    http://www.unitysandceremony.net/wp-content/uploads/2007/04/product-nesting-vases-200px.jpg
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Salsera29Salsera29 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_can-we-talk-about-sand-ceremonies-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:b7991b5c-01d9-43a5-828e-d0748e43d786Post:27a62c7c-3f61-44be-b60d-433ccf802bd3">Re: Can we talk about sand ceremonies, please?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I tend to not care for the sand ceremony because then you have a sand sculpture in your house that <strong>you have to take care of for the rest of your life</strong>, and if something happens to it, you will feel bad.  <strong>Same with unity candles </strong>or rose ceremony (if you preserve the roses) and any ceremony that requires physical objects to be held in safekeeping forever.  I guess I'm just a stickler about having things in my house though.
    Posted by nancyarahn[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>I'm sorry if this is a stupid question, but w're supposed to save the unity candle? I guess it would be weird to throw it out, but I certainly didn't plan on keeping it on the manlte. Plus we don't have a mantle. 

    </div>
    Report Reply
  • Options
    shannajeremyshannajeremy
    First Comment
    I think the unity sand is a wonderful idea! My fianc and I are doing it with our kids and they actually love the idea. It makes them feel like they are part of our day. We chose to do a layer of his color, a layer of my color then all of us are going to pour at the same time to "blend" our family together!
    Report Reply
  • Options
    boudvanboudvan
    First Comment
    edited March 2013
    We are having the unity candle for me and my groom. I have two children are are doing the sand with them to unify our new family and our new life together., Short and sweet but I wanted to include the children (ages 9 & 10) in as much of the ceromony as possible.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    HappilyEverAfter2702HappilyEverAfter2702 member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_can-we-talk-about-sand-ceremonies-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:b7991b5c-01d9-43a5-828e-d0748e43d786Post:7a35edc6-6152-4b0d-b821-0bdc9e2b1bb9">Can we talk about sand ceremonies, please?</a>:
    [QUOTE]We met with our officiant yesterday.  We are having a very brief ceremony and not doing a lot of the traditional things for our ceremony.  But I have children, and she suggested having a sand ceremony with us and the children to symbolize the unification of the family (I guess).  I sort of like the idea, but I've never seen the sand ceremony done. I don't know how I feel about this.  I was wondering if anyone is doing one, has done one, or has seen it done?  Could you please tell me what you think about it?  What do you think about doing it with the children?  I could see my kids (especially my youngest) really getting into it and liking it, but I also could see it being strange and falling flat. What do you think?
    Posted by TheShelley[/QUOTE]

    We are having a sand ceremony and are including my fiance's children.  We get that our wedding day is about "us" but wanted to take a mere 5 minutes to make my future step children feel just as special about the day and play an important part (besides being in the wedding) as we do/will.  I LOVE the fact of the unity of us four coming together, especially on such an important day to my fiance and I. 

    But like others have said - you have to go with what YOU feel.  You either like or you don't.  I respect others opinions and can see where it doesn't fit into their day/ceremony which is fine. 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    pends123pends123 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    My cousin had 2 daughters during her first marriage and at her second wedding, she, her two daughters, and her now-husband all participated in a sand ceremony.  I believe she and the groom had one color and the two girls had another color.  I thought it was really symbolic and meaningful, representing the unity of their new family.  I think it's special.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards