Bride v. Groom: Choosing an Officiant

Nichole2013

My finance and I are having trouble deciding who to ask to officiate our wedding.  I want the preacher of the church I grew up in and who is really close to our family to officiate.  My fiance wants a pastor he grew up with and who is close to his family to officiate. 

We've ruled out our current pastors because we're not very close to them and family members because we don't want anyone to get their feelings hurt for not being asked or to feel like they're working on our special day. 

I've ran a few ideas by my fiance about having each pastor do different parts of the ceremony, and he pretty much hates the idea.  Does anyone have ANY ideas about how to resolve this issue so that chossing an officiant doesn't turn into a fight?

sister2groom

There was already a thread on this (see below), but if your FI really won't compromise then you'll have to find a new pastor (which just seems kind of dumb to me since you have a fair amount of pastors in your lives) or flip a coin. What about where you will attend after you get married (assuming you will go to church together)?

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_two-pastors-2

Lisa50

Sorry if I'm repeating something already thought of/suggested ... Why not ask both to officiate the ceremony?  They can be co-officiants.

tenofcups4me

Yeah, co-officiants is the obvious compromise.

marissa_claire

If he's not willing to compromise, then he is being totally ridiculous.  And you can tell him I said so.  

janicejab

You could still have both of them do something for your big day. They could both bless your rings before the ceremony, one do the ceremony and the other do the blessing before the meal.  Or I would go with a new officiant alltogether if FI isn't willing to allow two officiants during the ceremony. One that you both like and are comfortable with.

fyrefairie

ISsyour officiate THAT important to you?  My expereince has been that there are only a few aspects of the wedding my FI has strong opinions about....he is happy to have me have  mostly everything the way I envision it, so on the things that do matter to him, I'm not fighting  it.  I agree that co-officiants would be ideal, but if its that big of a deal to him, maybe this is one to give in on