Program

quiggels219

so I have kind of a tough question. The final call is 100% up to fi but he's asking my opinion and what I think is the best way to handle this situation and I would just like to get others opinions so I have a feel for outsiders thoughts. Fi had two bestmen - unfortunately one passed away during the wedding planning. We are now submitting information for wedding programs and need to list the wedding party as well as the section where we remember my grandparents, neice and some others who passed away. So the question is would you include the bestman who passed in the program as a bestman - if so would you acknowledge in that section in any way he's not with us or would you list the other bestman only and put the friend in the remembrance section? I think I'm leaning towards including him and not mentioning it and then also including him in the section of others who passed and letting people who don't know make the connection. Again, it's fi decision but I just want others opinions before I give him mine so I can know I've really thought it through fully. Thanks!

ElisabethJoanne

I'm sorry for your loss.

Chances are, the wedding party will be above the memorials in your program. So, I'm reading your program, and looking up to the altar area, and I'm thinking "Where's [bestman]? or is [guy up there] [best man]?" Unless there's a note right there in the wedding party listings, I'll be very confused, 'cause maybe I don't make it down to the memorials before the ceremony begins. And you don't want to spend all day explaining, Where's [bestman]?

If you still want the bestman listed "like normal" with the wedding party, put a little cross before or after his name, for a Christian ceremony, or do "Name, in memoriam" or "Name, in mem."

HeatherR45

I agree with the PP, it might be confusing to see two best men in the program and only one standing up there. I think that you should put him in the memorial section, but still acknowledge him as a best man.

TiffannieF

Having him listed as a "best man" would imply that he is there so I note him in the memorial section.  I'm sorry for your loss, I hope you FI is getting through everything well.

LuckyGirl1713

I agree that placing his name in the memorial section is the best idea.  You may also want to write a few sentences about how even though he is not with you during your joyous occassion you remember fondly as one of the "Best Men" you've ever known.  I'm so sorry for your loss.  

theholograms

I would list him in both instead of just the memorial section. 

whitney37354

Put him in the memorial section, mentioning that he was to be a best man before his passing.

quiggels219

Thank you ladies for all your thoughts and advice. I like the cross idea if fi decides to list him, but I also like the idea of saying something special about him in the memorial section. I'm going to tell fi those are the two things I think I would decide between if it was my moh and see what he chooses. Thanks again!

iloveu4ever

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_program-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:c218f224-d766-4ec6-ac22-69c6a9bd4052Post:60be3191-8eee-4552-a64e-29e30f554fbb">Re: Program</a>:
[QUOTE]I would list him in both instead of just the memorial section. 
Posted by 27Sunrise[/QUOTE]

Yes!