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We're done for.

somethingsilversomethingsilver
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in Not Engaged Yet
I just want to thank all the Knotties that 7 months ago told me to not get ahead of myself and that the honeymoon phase of a relationship does end.

Last night, BF broke up with me. After losing his scholarship to our college, he claimed that he put school second priority to me. Now that he's transferring and changing majors, he has figured out that he needs to focus on school and I just can't be a part of that because I take up too much attention.

This has been coming for about a month now, at least. We never fought well (he always claimed I was making him the bad guy when I tried to bring up concerns) and he's been blocking me out for weeks with no contact.

So thanks NEY girls, for not letting me get into a marriage that would have been a disaster. Now I just need to figure out how to edit my sig again...
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Re: We're done for.

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    SwazzleSwazzle member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Aw I'm really sorry for what you're going through but I'm glad that you're seeing it as a good thing for yourself. I know that when breakups first happen (and even when it was a while ago) it can be really hard to look at it that way so kudos to you for that. :::HUGS:::

    (To edit your siggy: There's a link on the left hand side under 'Community Links' where you can 'Update Signature'. Hope this helps!)



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    peekaboo2011peekaboo2011 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Silver, I'm sorry.  It's never fun to deal with the end of a relationship.  But, if I remember correctly, I think you knew this from the beginning.  It's easy to get caught up in future plans, but if you don't focus on the present, it's easy to lose sight of things.  Like how you communicate and fight.  I'm not saying that to be mean, just something that I spent a lot of time reflecting on after I broke off my engagement about 9 months ago.

    Stick around.  Bri is our resident singleton, and I'm sure she'd love the company.  And, if you look to the bar on the left, there's an update signature button.  You can clear out the old stuff there.
    I french with my man
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    somethingsilversomethingsilver
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    Thanks girls. <3 Yeah I'll have to talk to Bri. I love the community here so I won't be leaving.
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    somethingsilversomethingsilver
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_were-done-for?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:25763033-1946-4a14-bb01-90a3960ba545Post:c97aba04-ab38-4402-b3a0-0bdaff22471c">Re: We're done for.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Aw I'm really sorry for what you're going through but I'm glad that you're seeing it as a good thing for yourself. I know that when breakups first happen (and even when it was a while ago) it can be really hard to look at it that way so kudos to you for that. :::HUGS::: (<strong>To edit your siggy: There's a link on the left hand side under 'Community Links' where you can 'Update Signature'. Hope this helps</strong>!)
    Posted by rdr716[/QUOTE]

    Of course, it says service unavailable...I just don't want to look at it anymore!! Geesh TK.
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    lennonkdclennonkdc member
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    edited May 2012
    I'm sorry Silver, but it sounds like in the end it will be for the best. I know its going to be a painful time, and the ladies of NEY are here for you. Just know that school should come first now, take this time just for you. After a particularly bad break up (with my ex FI) in college I took myself off the market for about 6-8 months. I used that time to figure out what was important to me- personally and in a relationship. In the end I made on on going list of traits that were important to me in a partner, and a list of 'deal breakers'. Once I started to date again I used that list as a guide of sorts. Eventually I found someone who had those important traits, and we've been growing together for 9 wonderful years. 

    My point is, use this time for you, and you won't ever regret it. 



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    Elle1036Elle1036 member
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    Awww, I'm sorry, Silver.  It sounds like you have (or are at least trying to have) a positive attitude about, so props for that.
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    somethingsilversomethingsilver
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    Of course, TK, make it so I can't see the last 2 posts...
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    Peaseblossom55Peaseblossom55 mod
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    Im so sorry silver.  I am sure there are bigger and better thing coming for you down the road.  Please stick around though!

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    doubleSS07doubleSS07 member
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    Sorry to hear that Silver...You seem to have a good attitude about it though and that will take you far.  Take each relationship, no matter the length, as a learning experience.  Like Lennon said, after each breakup I slowly began to realize exactly what I wanted, didn't want, expected and deserved in a healthy and loving relationship.  Now is the time in your life to think about you, what you want for your future and what you plan to do to get there.  Have fun, be single, don't take things too seriously.  Believe me life flies by real fast so take this time to enjoy learning what is really out there for you. 


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    eirwyneirwyn member
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    I'm sorry. :(
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    bethsmilesbethsmiles member
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    I'm sorry to hear that *hugs*


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    ravenrayravenray member
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    I am sorry Silver.  *hugs*  The other PP gave some great advice. 
    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

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    RWS2011RWS2011 member
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    Sorry Silver!  A guy friend of mine pulled this on a girl he was dating a while back.  However, he told her from the beginning of their relationship that he did not have much time and was hesitant to be in a serious relationship, so he tried to keep it light.  He was an electrical engineering major and the program at the U of M is tough!  Nevertheless, I still thought it was a diiick move for him to break up with her because she saw him through a lot of shiiit!

    When people make decisions like that, it shows you that you might never be enough of a priority in their life.  It is better to know earlier so you can find someone who will make you a priority!  Take your time to heal, and take lennon's advice!  It was sound.  Hugs!
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    FreeSpirit666FreeSpirit666
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_were-done-for?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:25763033-1946-4a14-bb01-90a3960ba545Post:00775f4e-0276-47bf-ba99-9a050b94b649">We're done for.</a>:
    [QUOTE]I just want to thank all the Knotties that 7 months ago told me to not get ahead of myself and that the honeymoon phase of a relationship does end. Last night, BF broke up with me. After losing his scholarship to our college, he claimed that he put school second priority to me. Now that he's transferring and changing majors, he has figured out that he needs to focus on school and I just can't be a part of that because I take up too much attention. This has been coming for about a month now, at least. We never fought well (he always claimed I was making him the bad guy when I tried to bring up concerns) and he's been blocking me out for weeks with no contact. So thanks NEY girls, for not letting me get into a marriage that would have been a disaster. Now I just need to figure out how to edit my sig again...
    Posted by somethingsilver[/QUOTE]

    Oh I'm SOOO sorry, (bigg hugg!!))) What a SOB to do that to you!!! 
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    audrewuhaudrewuh member
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    I'm so sorry to hear that silver. I hope you take this time to take care of yourself and appreciate the life you've been given. The pain is fresh, but it sounds like you're handling it well. I think the best advice PP gave was to take yourself "off the market" and have a few months of you time. It's totally worth it, believe me.
    --------------------------------------------------------------


     
    "You're our early 20's BSC scarecrow. They cower at your maturity." - lennonkdc Anniversary
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    MidniteRaeMidniteRae member
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    I'm sorry to hear that. I'm here if you need or want to talk.
    "You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you." -Ray Bradbury 
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    somethingsilversomethingsilver
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    thanks all you guys. <3
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    lovelyheatherlovelyheather member
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    Sorry to hear that things didn't work out. 
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