The question you're never supposed to ask a lady...

DanieKA

How old are YOU???

There's been a bunch of intro posts (Welcome!) and one of the posts led to a sort of S/O convo about the median age of the board. So give it up, ladies. How old are you? Do you feel young or "old" on the board? Do you think there's a "good" age to get married or do you have an ideal age in your mind? Discuss! 

KatyRoseM

I'm 26, I think thats a good age to be married.  I feel young on here though. 

DanieKA

I'm 29! 

Sometimes I feel a bit on the old side, but not really often.

I don't think there's any good age to get married. I do think ideally you've had  few life experiences, at least finished H.S. if not had a bit of college, though education doesn't necessarily mean maturity (I've known some pretty irresponsible college grads). Financial independence is a factor. Of course the best age to get married is when you fall in love and you are able to handle a relationship that is for life. For some that's 21, for others its 31. 

In my head I always thought I'd be married at 25, but that obviously didn't happen. But I don't think that was right for me. But I'm happy at where I am now. If you spoke to me at 25, though, I might have been a brat about not being married. Further proof I just wasn't ready. 

And I wanted to make sure I clarify that I don't think there is any "right" age or that being older or younger is better. I'm just curious:)

mookow86

I was just thinking about this topic, too. I'm 25 and I feel that I'm around the average age on NEY. Maybe a little older. I don't think there's a universal 'good age' to get married; it all depends on each person's life experiences and situation.

I always pictured myself having kids in my early thirties, and getting married a few years before that. So I suppose I'm getting married around when I thought I would, maybe a little earlier.

Peaseblossom55

I'm 31 so I imagine I'm one of the older people here.  I could be wrong.  I certainly don'tI feel my age.  I think anytme after 25 in this day and age is good,  after graduating college and establishing a career.  At that point you have finished school and have an established a career, and you have more of an idea of who you are and what you want in life.  It varies for everyone though...

GreenPepperBurger

I'm 21. I agree with the others that it's not best to get married until you graduate and establish a career and get your finances in order. I can't imagine getting married until I'm at least 24.

DanieKA

Yeah, I definitely agree with having a stable job and the ability to support yourself and be a contributing member of the relationship is a must. I don't think you have to be living large, but if you can't afford a decent apartment or home, and can't pay your monthly bills without a little help from your parents, it's probably wise to wait. 

Beads921

I'm 21. I think I'm too young to get married (heh). I really think 22 is probably the earliest a person should get married, although when I'm 22 I'll probably think it's 23. I don't think it's so much about age, but having other things together (like a completed education and a career), and I feel like 22 is probably the earliest that could happen. That, and your brain isn't even fully developed till 21.

AudgiePodge

16 and pregly.

CleverThought

I'm 19 (yikes!) But I do agree with everyone else that finishing school is a must, if not having a career also in place. I couldn't imagine being married in college, but a lot of people seem to do it. I think the only exception here is grad school/ professional programs. I can see myself being married during dental school at some point, but only if my (then) husband has a stable job and I would have supplemental income as well

I also agree with a PP that there is no ideal age. It is so much about maturity and the ability to handle a relationship and the responsibilities of married life. For some that's 20, others it's 35.

bsidebella

I'm 24 and will be 25 by the time I'm married. I feel REALLY young, both on the boards and to be married. I don't know why I feel so young. Probably because I'm the first in my group of friends to be making the leap.

CleverThought

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_question-never-supposed-ask-lady?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:26b436ff-9198-46d0-9628-1e44f552be47Post:6c8560d4-f83c-45d6-806b-dea67b06299b">Re: The question you're never supposed to ask a lady...</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm 21. I think I'm too young to get married (heh). I really think 22 is probably the earliest a person should get married, although when I'm 22 I'll probably think it's 23. I don't think it's so much about age, but having other things together (like a completed education and a career), and I feel like 22 is probably the earliest that could happen. <strong>That, and your brain isn't even fully developed till 21.</strong>
Posted by Beads921[/QUOTE]

New research in emerging that the frontal lobe (handles decision making and impulses) may not be developed fully until 25+. Interesting huh?

Sparrow87

I'm 23 and the last of my group of friends to still be single.  Meaning not married no kids, and I feel about the average age on NEY. 

desertsun

I'm 29 too Danie!

I've been feeling kind of old b/c it seems like we have a lot of younger ladies these days. I'm interested to see how your poll develops.

I think a "good age" for marriage depends on the person. I do wish people would wait until they've been supporting themselves for a couple years. I also think that psychologically people aren't fully developed until their mid-20s. So, IN GENERAL, I like 23 and up.

DanieKA

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_question-never-supposed-ask-lady?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:26b436ff-9198-46d0-9628-1e44f552be47Post:a16759e8-5ca6-455b-8f73-011514100190">Re: The question you're never supposed to ask a lady...</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm 29 too Danie! 
Posted by desertsun[/QUOTE]

<div>29 and feelin' fine!</div><div>
</div><div>Okay, I'm embarrassed I wrote that (not really). </div>

bethsmiles

I'm 21 (since Sunday!) but I was 19 when I joined the boards. I don't really feel young NEY but when I lurk and occasionally post on other boards I do feel that I'm younger than the majority of the brides there.

When I was in high school I always said I wouldn't think about getting married until I was 27. That gave me time to finish school, date around a bit, and be on my own for awhile. I happened to meet an amazing guy when I was 18 and will probably get married when I'm about 23 (that's if we stick to our current timeline). I don't think there is a good age for someone to get married because everyone is so different and can handle different things. I know some people who really could handle getting married while they were still in school and I know some people who couldn't handle getting married when they were already out of school. I do think that younger couples should take longer to date because you do change a lot in college and you shouldn't rush into things just to find out that you've grown apart in a few years.

AnneR15

I'm 26, and I agree that the right age to get married is when you're ready. For me, the way I knew I was ready to move in with BF is when I realized I was ready to marry him, which is partly why we dated for almost 5 years before moving in together. For him, living together was an important step toward becoming ready to get engaged/married. So I was probably 24-25 when I felt "ready" (whatever that means).

I don't feel at all old to not be engaged yet, and in fact it's starting to seem weird that some of our friends got married when they were 23. That sounds so young to me now, but it worked for them.

These boards are starting to make me feel old, though!

ravenray

I voted for 20 but I am not 20 until next week.  But hey close enough.

 

I do feel young on this site (hell I know I am young) but that is ok with me.  I went through my BSC stage and now I am just happy hanging out in this community.  I know that I am young for marriage but it doesn't bother me.  I am not like the rest of my friends who want to party and be single (not that there is anything wrong with that it is just not what I want to do)  and I know I sound like a "special snowflake" but I really do feel that I am in a different place then most people at my age.  Not that I am necessarily more mature (I am not always) but my relationship is a different.  I think it is because we are growing up together and our relationship is always changing for the better.  In these last 2 1/2 years I have mature so much.  I know that I love him beyond a doubt and whether we get married next year or after college doesn't matter that much, I would like to get married sooner because it makes things easier on us but if it doesn't happen, I have no problem waiting until the timing is right.  (wow that was long sorry for validating myself)

 

I feel like a good age varies for people.   I think it matters on the couple.  People have different relationships and it clicks for people at different times. 

lunarsongbird

I too am 27, but apparently I feel like 26, because that is what I accidentally voted. Duh...

I don't really feel that old. I feel that the majority of the regulars on this board are pretty mature. I knew that Raven was 19, but if I didn't- I would never guess. She's "mature for her age." (Love that statement, right?"

[Gawd, this new laptop backspaces FAST]

I'm not sure age really matters much- I think it's more about life experience.

ETA: A few years ago, I would have said that 27 would have been the perfect age to get married. ::shrugs:: Now I try not to think about age. I do want to have children by 35 though.

SKP82

I'm 28!  I didn't feel "old" on the board until today when I realized how young everyone else was.

Beth - you're the only one (so far) whose age I'm surprised by.  You seem very wise for 21.

I always thought I would be married with babies by 24, but now I know that wouldn't have worked for me.  I have to admit that I give the side eye to girls under 25 who come on here saying they're in LURVE and are "GONNA GET MA-A-A-RIED."  I'm not saying it won't work.  I'm admitting I side eye them.  That's all.

Elle1036

I'll be 26 in two weeks.

I feel young on the boards, even though I know I'm close to average.  I also occasionally have moments where I feel like I'm too young to be getting married, but I think I would feel that way even if I were 36.

AJesteram

I'm 22. We're not planning on getting married for almost two years so I'll be 24-- I feel like that is a pretty good/average age to get married.
Finishing school is important to me before getting married, which is one of the reasons we're waiting a while.

bethsmiles

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_question-never-supposed-ask-lady?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:26b436ff-9198-46d0-9628-1e44f552be47Post:1a5a82f1-3dce-4d1b-bc90-a8149f4169f6">Re: The question you're never supposed to ask a lady...</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm 28!  I didn't feel "old" on the board until today when I realized how young everyone else was. <strong>Beth - you're the only one (so far) whose age I'm surprised by.  You seem very wise for 21.</strong> I always thought I would be married with babies by 24, but now I know that wouldn't have worked for me.  I have to admit that I give the side eye to girls under 25 who come on here saying they're in LURVE and are "GONNA GET MA-A-A-RIED."  I'm not saying it won't work.  I'm admitting I side eye them.  That's all.
Posted by SKP82[/QUOTE]

Aww! Thanks :)

SKP82

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_question-never-supposed-ask-lady?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:26b436ff-9198-46d0-9628-1e44f552be47Post:ae945baa-aeea-4a31-81eb-c48d2a5a94f0">Re: The question you're never supposed to ask a lady...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: The question you're never supposed to ask a lady... : Aww! Thanks :)
Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]

Well, it's the truth.  So, you're welcome.  <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" />

ravenray

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_question-never-supposed-ask-lady?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:26b436ff-9198-46d0-9628-1e44f552be47Post:777ca646-14d1-41fc-a043-1b47a060d99b">Re: The question you're never supposed to ask a lady...</a>:
[QUOTE]I too am 27, but apparently I feel like 26, because that is what I accidentally voted. Duh... I don't really feel that old. I feel that the majority of the regulars on this board are pretty mature. I<strong> knew that Raven was 19, but if I didn't- I would never guess. She's "mature for her age." (Love that statement, right?</strong>" [Gawd, this new laptop backspaces FAST] I'm not sure age really matters much- I think it's more about life experience. ETA: A few years ago, I would have said that 27 would have been the perfect age to get married. ::shrugs:: Now I try not to think about age. I do want to have children by 35 though.
Posted by lunarsongbird[/QUOTE]
Aw thanks Lunar!  I don't feel all that mature sometime!  :)

lunarsongbird

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_question-never-supposed-ask-lady?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:26b436ff-9198-46d0-9628-1e44f552be47Post:96a18e78-d237-496f-8d7a-feb0183b3d20">Re: The question you're never supposed to ask a lady...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: The question you're never supposed to ask a lady... : Aw thanks Lunar!  I don't feel all that mature sometime!  :)
Posted by ravenray[/QUOTE]

<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />

I lubs you and Beth very much! And you both add a lot to the group!

loves2shop4shoes

I'm 23.  I'll be 24 when I get married.  And I'm very cognizant of the fact that 24 is a bit on the young side to get married.

And I feel young on here too...although I doubt most people would guess my age if they didn't know it.

thelamarrs

I'm 19. And honestly, I do think I'm kind of young to be on this board, but then I remember that 19 is not that far from 20 (especially if I'm less than half a year away from it.) But the ongoing intro posts of 18/19 year olds who BSC and get flamed doesn't help my age group any, especially since the majority of the girls never return to their own intro threads once the flaming has begun.  

But I do think that at my age relationships can be taken more seriously than they really are and there is no telling what my future holds. In my heart I feel like I will spend forever with my BF, but who knows? I surely have no doubts, though!

Also, I don't think there is an "ideal" time to get married. In my opinion, you can find the person you're meant to be with forever in high school, in college, in your 30's/40's/50's/60's. 

As for my ideal age, it'll be whenever my BF is ready to make the commitment. He feels like it'll be time when I'm graduating college, but who knows? 

NurseyK

At 21 I almost married my high school sweet heart. After we picked out a ring, I realized I just hadn't lived enough, and I broke up with him. Thank God I did.... because I just wasn't ready for marriage at that age and stage in my life.

Fast forward: I knew I wasn't a youngin, but sheesh.... Now I feel "old!"  I'll be 29 next Thursday.... which means I'm going on 30... which was always my "old marker.

However, now that I've lived (survived) most of my 20s, I can say that I don't feel any older than a few years ago. I CAN say that I wasn't ready for marriage until after:
- I paid all my own bills without financial help
- I got through school (even failed a few classes unnecessarily, but c'est la vie)
- lived alone without roommates
- left my first major job and started a new career
- gone through heartbreak regards to jobs, men and female friends
- and have lost people to death.

I don't think I can honestly say that I knew myself well until I figured out how to "wipe my own ass" (movie reference!) and have survivied all of that without the fallback of Mom and Dad every waking second. Those life challenges made me stronger. I encourage everyone, who thinks they are ready, including my friends and sister, to consider if they have gone through all of those things and more before they call themselves 'ready for marriage.' 

Now do I think I am ready for marriage? As far as my 28 years and 11.8 months of life are concerned... yes. But who knows how much more I will learn about myself in the future.

NurseyK

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_question-never-supposed-ask-lady?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:26b436ff-9198-46d0-9628-1e44f552be47Post:3cb0bf88-da92-46f8-8d38-e24379e58982">Re: The question you're never supposed to ask a lady...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: The question you're never supposed to ask a lady... : <strong>29 and feelin' fine! </strong>Okay, I'm embarrassed I wrote that (not really). 
Posted by DanieKA[/QUOTE]


This made me LOL! Can I join the "29 and feelin fine!" club next Thursday on my bday?!

tafft1

I'll be 33 on Monday - and thoughi don't think theres a perfect age to get married , i do think being on your own at some point and being independant of your parents is important before even considering getting married. Things don't always turn out the way we imagine but i think common sense should be used heh. I rwally don't think getting married changes a person and isn't some race to the finish as some seem to treat it like - it's best to move forward when both are ready and not a minute before.