Advice please!

Wedqueen12

I need some advice. I'm like totally freaking out right now and I need another perspective on this issue. 

Recently my boyfriend and I have been trying to figure out wedding/planning details and have been together for almost 4 years. Also recently my boyfriend made it clear to me that he wanted to have children and he was tired of waiting. So about a month ago, I quit taking my bc and...well last night was probably something we should not have done but anyway my question is....If I am pregnant should I continue with wedding plans or hold off until after the baby is born? I really did not want to be a pregnant bride but is it really so bad? 

Advice on this would be greatly appreciated. 

thejucheidea

Only you can make the decision here.

flygirlmeg

Um, are you engaged?  Baby or not, you shouldn't be wedding planning unless you and he both consider yourselves engaged (ring or no ring).

eirwyn

Perhaps this should have been discussed before you stopped BC and before you had unprotected sex?

Regardless, it's up to you. I've seen pregnant brides, and I've seen brides who wait until the baby is born and then dress the baby up super cute for the wedding. This is something you'll have to discuss with your boyfriend.

You aren't even engaged yet, though, so why is this even an issue? Are you positive he's going to pop the question during the next nine months, and even if he does, what if it's two months before you're due? Do you want to get married that quickly? It might not even be an issue if you two want to spend a few months preparing for the wedding.

Cart, then horse. You're way ahead of yourself. If you are pregnant, you need to worry about the kid, not the wedding. If the idea of being pregnant at your wedding is freaking you out this much, maybe you should go back on the BC and tell him you'd rather be married first.

audrewuh

Well first of all, you probably should have been totally comfortable getting pregnant after having unprotected sex. Second of all, who knows if he'll even ask you to marry him or when he'll do it? It could be months or even years from now, in which case you'll have a child to preoccupy your attention. Third of all, only you can answer the question about being a pregnant bride, but then again, you don't know if you're pregnant and you sure as Hell don't sound like you want to be, which is unfair to you, your bf, and your maybe baby. Deep breaths, pee on a stick in a few weeks, and then "worry" about all of this.

SKP82

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_advice-please-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:644bd363-40de-47cd-9b9f-16fe9ac80ee9Post:ce4ccb2e-ae93-41a1-b856-2d5c284b9d7f">Advice please!</a>:
[QUOTE]I need some advice. I'm like totally freaking out right now and I need another perspective on this issue.  Recently my boyfriend and I have been trying to figure out wedding/planning details and have been together for almost 4 years. Also recently my boyfriend made it clear to me that he wanted to have children and he was tired of waiting. So about a month ago, I quit taking my bc and...well last night was probably something we should not have done but anyway my question is... .If I am pregnant should I continue with wedding plans or hold off until after the baby is born? I really did not want to be a pregnant bride but is it really so bad?  Advice on this would be greatly appreciated. 
Posted by Wedqueen12[/QUOTE]

You should be freaking out if you didn't want to get pregnant before you were married but chose to have unprotected sex...  You shouldn't have stopped taking your birth control if you weren't ready to get pregnant, even if he was ready.

Also, you're being a bit ridiculous.  It's unlikely that you will get pregnant after one time of unprotected sex, and this just happened LAST NIGHT, so there's no way you can even KNOW if you're pregnant for several weeks.

Get back on birth control, and, if you're not engaged, stop planning your wedding.  If you ARE engaged, still get back on birth control and go off it when you are BOTH comfortable with having a child.

I can't believe I actually had to spell that out for you...

loves2shop4shoes

Dude, seriously?  You're a moron.

Why would you knowingly risk getting KTFU by a guy with whom you have a nebulous future?  FFS people, this isn't hard.

Step 1-2:  Meet someone and fall in love.
Step 3:  Spend sufficient time together to really get to know the person.  At LEAST a year, preferably at least 2.
Step 4:  Discuss your future
Step 5:  Get engaged
Step 6:  Plan a wedding
Step 7:  Get married
Step 8:  Try to get KTFU.


Not understanding why this is difficult.

jorja86

A. Go back on birth control ASAP B. Have a discussion about when you would like to start having children. Figure out if you're actually emotionally and financially ready. C. Figure out if you are, in fact, engaged.

lennonkdc

Don't post in blue font....

and listen to PP.

calliopeia2013

PPs are right regarding this being your decision.  FWIW, I've always sort of secretly wanted to be a pregnant bride; I think it's awesome and beautiful, but I know not everyone thinks the same way.

But as an additional note- if you don't want to be pregnant (which it kind of sounds like you don't) and this only happened last night, emergency contraception can prevent a pregnancy if taken within 5 days of a risk.  Contrary to popular misinformation, EC CANNOT cause an abortion if you're already pregnant, but if you haven't yet ovulated it can stop you from ovulating and causing a pregnancy (sperm can stay viable within your body for 5-7 days, so even if you haven't ovulated yet, if you do tomorrow, you could get pregnant.) 

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_advice-please-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:644bd363-40de-47cd-9b9f-16fe9ac80ee9Post:ce4ccb2e-ae93-41a1-b856-2d5c284b9d7f">Advice please!</a>:
[QUOTE] bluefontbluefontbluefont
Posted by Wedqueen12[/QUOTE]

Mmmkay.

audrewuh

In Response to Re:Advice please!:[QUOTE]Dude, seriously?nbsp; You're a moron.Why would you knowingly risk getting KTFU by a guy with whom you have a nebulous future?nbsp; FFS people, this isn't hard.Step 12:nbsp; Meet someone and fall in love.Step 3:nbsp; Spend sufficient time together to really get to know the person.nbsp; At LEAST a year, preferably at least 2.Step 4:nbsp; Discuss your futureStep 5:nbsp; Get engagedStep 6:nbsp; Plan a weddingStep 7:nbsp; Get marriedStep 8:nbsp; Try to get KTFU.Not understanding why this is difficult. Posted by loves2shop4shoes[/QUOTE]

Hehehe! We need to make an official checklist. I going to use my new mac!

flygirlmeg

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_advice-please-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:644bd363-40de-47cd-9b9f-16fe9ac80ee9Post:784fc6c1-a054-4ffe-9e3b-61ffdcc69a6e">Re:Advice please!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Advice please!: Hehehe! <strong>We need to make an official checklist.</strong> I going to use my new mac!
Posted by audrewuh[/QUOTE]

This is a fantastic idea.  It can go right along with our "are you engaged" flowchart. 

audrewuh

In Response to Re:Advice please!:[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Advice please!: This is a fantastic idea.nbsp; It can go right along with our "are you engaged" flowchart.nbsp; Posted by flygirlmeg[/QUOTE]

Okay, I'm for real going to do it. My memorial day project. :

flygirlmeg

Can't wait to see it!

LilTexasGal

Is Plan B 48 hours or 72 hours?

Either way, that should have been your first step after having unprotected sex... not going online freaking out to internet strangers.