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ring envy

mendrya18mendrya18 member
First Comment
in Not Engaged Yet
I have been dreaming about the engagement ring that I would want one day, and my friend recently got proposed to with my dream ring.  I am worried that I should change what i want in order to not make it seem like i copied her.   My boyfriend keeps asking to see pictures of what I like but I don't know what to do. Do I still say I want that ring? Or do I change what I want because my friend got engaged first?
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Re: ring envy

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    katanne9katanne9 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Honestly, get what you love.

    When all your friends get engaged, erveryones rings start to look the same anyways.


    Where in upstate NY are you from?

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    hetshuphetshup member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Well what does your dream ring look like?

    And how old are you?
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    MattsAnnieMattsAnnie member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree, get what you want, what you love. If she thinks you copied her, shes not that good of a friend. My friends and I have very similar taste so we are bound to end up with similar rings!
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    Norway_TNorway_T
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Get what you want. You could get a custom ring that is similar but you could change something about it, so its not the exact same, if it would bother you to have the exact ring as your friend.
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    Button5807Button5807
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ring-envy-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:82878a28-a2b0-417a-a33c-db90335bb3e2Post:1236eef6-f730-4b4f-b257-a6e402ee81a0">ring envy</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have been dreaming about the engagement ring that I would want one day, and my friend recently got proposed to with my dream ring.  I am worried that I should change what i want in order to not make it seem like i copied her.   My boyfriend keeps asking to see pictures of what I like but I don't know what to do. Do I still say I want that ring? Or do I change what I want because my friend got engaged first?
    Posted by mendrya18[/QUOTE]


    I always thought a ring was a symbol of your relationship, what does it matter what your friend has? Can your BF even afford your "dream ring"?

    How the heck do you end up with a "dream ring" anyway?
    image image image image 
    "but you're SO FUNNY, button! you're so funny i kind of want to crawl into your skin and wear it as my own. " - NarwhalYou, my dear, are the Queen of the Beebees. Here's a tiara - Oceana 
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    honeybee724honeybee724 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Get what you want.  I worried about this too (although we ended up picking a totally different style).  Now I know that one of my friends showed my ring to her BF because she loved it so much.  Another friend was horrified and said "But what if she has the same ring???"  I honestly don't care- I think my ring is perfect so it doesn't surprise me that others love it too!
    WHO DEY!
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    zaneopalzaneopal member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It's a piece of jewelery. Who cares?

    My roommate and I have the same ring, that we got about 2 weeks apart (mine from my sister for my birthday and hers from her boyfriend for their 2 year anniversary). These things happen.

    I don't think it's such a big deal. Someone out there's going to have the same engagement ring as you, and if it's your friend, clearly your FIs (and you ladies) both have great taste.
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    MeganFaceMeganFace member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Very similar to my first post here where I was jealous of my friend's wedding venue. The ladies here rightly pointed out that "when my day comes" (in quotes bc it's a cheesy turn of phrase) (then again, I do love cheese) if I still loved the place, I should just have my wedding there anyway. Because who would ever care?

    I doubt the rings would be identical but even if they were, if you love it then who cares if your friend has it too? 50 years from now you and yoru friend may have grown apart but you'll still have that ring that you love as symbol of your committment. That's what matters.
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    sheena_fsheena_f member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Get what you want. No one is going to notice that they are the same rings other then you.
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    Ana_2985Ana_2985 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yes I think you should still say you like it.  Think of how many people in the world have round brilliant solitaire engagement rings?  Or right now, everyone is getting those rings with the tiny diamonds around the big one.   It's doesn't make them any less special.  And I'm pretty sure that no matter how hard you try, your ring will not be unique.  Someone somewhere has the same one so just get what you like.

    But as someone said, just in case your BF can't afford your dream ring, make sure you have some back-up dream rings.
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    paintgirlpaintgirl member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    A ring is a piece of metal that is symbolic of your commitment. "Yours" will be yours and yours alone. If it bears some resemblance to another person's ring, so be it. As long as it isn't from the same man, you're good to go.

    It's supposed to be about your RELATIONSHIP. Not about a piece of metal and a rock.
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    paintgirlpaintgirl member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    And there's really only one way to guarantee you will get your "dream ring" - buy it for yourself. No need to even involve the man! You can even go all out and have a REALLY BIG PARTY to celebrate your new ring! No man required.
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    emarston1emarston1 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Definitely get the ring that you want.  You will be wearing it for (hopefully!) the rest of your life so why would you want something that you didn't love?

    FWIW, my ring is exactly like my FSIL's (princess cut solitaire diamond) and she threw a hissy fit that they were alike.  Her first words after she found out we were engaged were, "Where have I seen THAT before?"  My response?  "Yeah, I guess we have the same great taste."

    Even if your friend is a little miffed about the ring, who cares?  You have a right to get what you want.  And as a PP said, if she is a brat, she probably wasn't that great of a friend to begin with.
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    prasad007prasad007
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    And there's really only one way to guarantee you will get your "dream ring" - buy it for yourself. No need to even involve the man! You can even go all out and have a REALLY BIG PARTY to celebrate your new ring! No man required.

    Paintgirl is right!!!

    But really, if your bf got you a ring that you didn't like, would you still want to marry him? A ring is a commitment to marriage, and a symbol of your love. A ring shouldn't just be bling to flash around. If you want that ring, you can always buy it yourself and wear it on your right hand.
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    jekalexjekalex
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Sorry paintgirl and prasada, but I don't think the issue is that she needs a man. Her boyfriend is ASKING her about what ring she wants. She just needs the ring. She's got the man, apparently.

    And so, in regards to the ring. I agree with the PP's. You should get what you want. Ultimately, it's what you'll be wearing the rest of your life. Who cares if it looks like someone else's. If you think about it, there are more engaged women in the world than available rings, not counting custom ones. So, everyone has someone else's ring. Just get the one you want. She'll get over it. If she's a great friend, she might even be excited that you match, or something.
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    ekathleen684ekathleen684
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I say show him your dream ring whether your friend has it or not. Like PP said, it is likely someone will have the same ring anyways. There is also a good chance that it might not be the exact ring anyways, your BF is the one who will ultimately be picking out the ring. There are so many different variations to rings these days and the simplist change could make them look so different.
    ...and if it really bothers you (or her) that you may have the same ring, engrave it with something hearfelt and meaningful to you and your future FI.
    imageimageimageimage
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    PaigeMcCPaigeMcC member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Show BF the rings (yes ringS b/c he might not be able to afford said dream ring) you want and he'll pick what he wants/can afford.  You may get the same ring as your friend or you may not.  Either way I agree with PP - it's your ring and it's special to you! Doesn't matter if she has it too - it's symbolic to you and your FI.  And if she cares, what can you do? You didn't buy it!


    "Popular on the internetz..."
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    Canada is kind of like a whole other world with new things to discover that us americans only dream of. - Narwhal
    Paige I would like to profess my love for you and your brilliant mind. - breezerb
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    paintgirlpaintgirl member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Sigh... It's called "sarcasm". If the ring is so important, maybe the relationship isn't... so she could skip that part... Never mind - probably not worth explaining.

    Mendrya18 - does the "18" mean you are 18 years old?
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    Button5807Button5807
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ring-envy-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:82878a28-a2b0-417a-a33c-db90335bb3e2Post:32618048-cb18-4261-a291-7c478b48b2c2">Re: ring envy</a>:
    [QUOTE]Sigh... It's called "sarcasm". If the ring is so important, maybe the relationship isn't... so she could skip that part... Never mind - probably not worth explaining.
    Posted by paintgirl[/QUOTE]

    haha i <3 u
    image image image image 
    "but you're SO FUNNY, button! you're so funny i kind of want to crawl into your skin and wear it as my own. " - NarwhalYou, my dear, are the Queen of the Beebees. Here's a tiara - Oceana 
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    noelle24noelle24
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    What a Thunder Stealing beyotch... I say hog-tie her and take your dream ring from her finger! Wink
    image
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    hetshuphetshup member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Paint-- You need to put some images up, its time. I personally have a solitaire, plenty of other people have solitaries but mine is special, b\c its MINE. Get what you want and if she's mean about it punch her in the anus.
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    prasad007prasad007
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    i got paintgirl's sarcasm, and all i was saying was that i thought it was wonderful. :)

    maybe i'm crazy, but i don't think people *need* rings (@ jeka1215), and it did sound like the op was more concerned about the ring than her s/o.

    regardless, i think pps are right. the op should show her bf a range of choices that she likes, and maybe try not to focus on what the ring looks like so much as the fact that her bf wants to spend the rest of his life with her. because that is what should be exciting, not what the ring looks like.
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    mendrya18mendrya18 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I never said that the ring was more important than my relationship. And I did not think my original question was such a bad one. Thank you to everyone that gave me positive feedback and did not criticize what I posted!
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    **Mutley****Mutley**
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ring-envy-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:82878a28-a2b0-417a-a33c-db90335bb3e2Post:184976e6-cb82-4929-9f76-d8e9cea2e5ca">Re: ring envy</a>:
    [QUOTE]I never said that the ring was more important than my relationship. And I did not think my original question was such a bad one. Thank you to everyone that gave me positive feedback and did not criticize what I posted!
    Posted by mendrya18[/QUOTE]


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    paintgirlpaintgirl member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Did she ever answer if she's 18? Just wonderin'... Innocent
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    mendrya18mendrya18 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm not 18, I'm 25.
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