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The "honeymoon" period....

I'm interested to know your opinions about this.... how long do you think the honeymoon period lasts?? Or how long has it lasted in your experience? I'm sure it's different for everyone....

I don't know what this is, but in my current relationship it still feels like we're in a sort of honeymoon period after 8 months together.... but it's turned into a more permanent state for us. In my past relationships, the phase where everything was rainbows and puppies lasted no more than a couple of months at most.... and then came the part where we started really paying attention to e/o's flaws and trying to decide whether we could live with those flaws or not.

Right now, we are able to see e/o's flaws and imperfectations and we do have arguments (nothing major, though) and disagreements, but we are always able to sort things out rather quickly.... communication has been key!!  We have become very comfortable with e/o, but we have still managed to keep that spark, that awesome feeling you get with new relationships, alive. I still feel butterflies when I see him or even when I get a text from him in the middle of the day.... we still hold hands all the time (as cheesy as that sounds).... and we enjoy every single minute we spend together.

I don't know if it's still that honeymoon period, although it had never lasted this long for me before.... but whatever it is, I wish it stays this way for a long time!

I'm just soooo happy, I needed to share it with the world (well, maybe not the world, but at least the portion of the world that visits this board).... sorry if all this sounds super mushy and corny. Embarassed

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Re: The "honeymoon" period....

  • edited December 2011
    That's amazing, I'll try to communicate with my Hubbs. Thanks for pointing that out.

    Psychologists say that you will know everything about a person after 2 years. So, 1-2 years.


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  • Elle1036Elle1036
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    edited December 2011
    I'm glad you are so happy, but I wouldn't count on the honeymoon phase being over just yet.

    I've been in two long term relationships in my life, and both of them hit rough patches right at the 2 year mark.  I don't know what it is about that time frame, but I've seen it kill several relationships where people were sure they were in it for good.
  • paintgirlpaintgirl
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: The "honeymoon" period....:
    Psychologists say that you will know everything about a person after 2 years. So, 1-2 years.
    Posted by hetshup
    Really hets? That explains a LOT. HA!

    OP - I'm glad you're happy. I'd bet the honeymoon period is winding down though. I also seriously doubt you are happy "every single moment" you are together. At some point, he must scrape the fork across his teeth, drive too fast, or say something that gets under your skin.

    File these days away for times when things are little harder. They'll help you get past the teeth scraping or driving too fast. :)
  • duckymonkeyduckymonkey
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    edited December 2011
    I guess since it's never been this perfect for so long before.... I'm really excited. But you're right.... I'm sure there will be bigger obstacles to overcome and that's when we will be really tested. I just have this feeling that together we can overcome anything......... hope this proves true in the future. ;)
  • edited December 2011
    I'm not sure either how long it lasts, but BF and I have been together about 1 1/2 years and I think we definitely still feel pretty mushy gooshy over each other. I mean we have our moments but we still do all the hand holding and kissing and what not. This is the longest I've gone in this "phase" too. I guess we will see next May.
  • duckymonkeyduckymonkey
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: The "honeymoon" period....:
    In Response to Re: The "honeymoon" period.... : Really hets? That explains a LOT. HA! OP - I'm glad you're happy. I'd bet the honeymoon period is winding down though. I also seriously doubt you are happy "every single moment" you are together. At some point, he must scrape the fork across his teeth, drive too fast, or say something that gets under your skin. File these days away for times when things are little harder. They'll help you get past the teeth scraping or driving too fast. :)
    Posted by paintgirl
    Hahahaa, yeah of course there's times when he does things that annoy me, or I do things that annoy him.... but so far it has only been minor things, nothing that we are not able to get past by just talking it through....
  • duckymonkeyduckymonkey
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: The "honeymoon" period....:
    Going through the holiday season with a SO is always stressful - and you can learn a lot about someone then.  
    Posted by yaga13
    Definitely!! And these will be our first holiday season together.... so I guess we'll see how that goes! xD
  • edited December 2011
    We hit a rough patch around 11 months, because of lots of external/past drama, but I honestly think it's made us stronger.
    We're definitely not in a honeymoon phase anymore, and I really think that's okay.
    It's always been my opinion that those things tend to go in cycles. Some days you just feel less connected, and some days you feel more so.
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  • csousa1csousa1
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    edited December 2011
    It is somewhat of a no-brainer that communication is the key, but a shocking amount of people don't figure this out for a really long time. It's awesome that you guys have. I would guess that you guys are probably more compatible than your past relationships, as well, and that's very good.

    That being said, Elle and other PPs are right. There is something about the 2 year mark that brings out the crazy. My BF and I had our 2-year anniversary this past March, and in April/May we had a HUGE upheaval in our relationship. We were like you guys - the honeymoon phase lasted for a long time. The upheaval also had to do with issues outside the relationship, like his parents' near break-up and the death of a friend.

    Clearly, my BF and I got through it. The communication skills we had learned with eachother through the "honeymoon phase" helped us to work through everything. Still, it was very difficult to get through and required a lot of work on both sides. What we have now is even better, because we know what we can withstand together.
  • edited December 2011
    csousa, that's exactly how I feel. While I wouldn't have wished what happened to us on anyone, and I wish it didn't have to happen to us, I really think it's made us stronger and helped us learn how we communicate better.
    It's so comforting knowing that we can have problems and miscommunications and the other person will still be there.
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  • jorja86jorja86
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    edited December 2011

    I'd say that in my relationship, the initial honeymoon period lasted about 6 months, and then I had to move three hours away, so that was obviously hard. We also hit a rough patch around 2 years, which is also when I moved in with him, so I think that was obviously an adjustment.

    Still, though, I'm happier with him now than I have ever been because I'm pretty sure that I can live with all his little flaws, and I'm fairly confident I've seen most of them.

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  • peekaboo2011peekaboo2011
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    edited December 2011
    Wait, Hets, you mean, I actually have to talk to someone I date.  Weird.  Why didn't you tell me that before?
    I french with my man
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  • edited December 2011
    I think the true test of happiness and what ultimately will make or break a relationship is going through hard times. I'm talking loss of employment, health problems or some other major turn for the worse. The sunshine and rainbows disappear and things get heavy, but if you can see through difficulties together, you are a stronger couple for it. Don't be afraid of this initial honeymoon phase ending. You will become comfortable and the rush of seeing eachother will fade to some degree. That is the natural evolution of a relationship. You still get that giddy feeling from time to time, but not constantly. It's wonderful that you are so happy, but dont cling to the idea that your honeymoon phase will never end. It will, and thats ok.
  • edited December 2011
    It waxes and wanes with exciting times, for me anyways.

    Our honeymoon butterfly-in-your-tummy phase was when we realized that this-is-it and emotions slowed down. The honeymoon feeling picked back up when we got engaged. Then it died down a little bit with wedding planning stress. And now it's back up because WP stress is slowing and we are enjoying preparing for marriage. Even during times of less-exciting emotions and frustrations, we have always been happy together.

    In past relationships, the honeymoon phase died and never came back because one or both of us realized it wasn't meant to be.
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  • doubleSS07doubleSS07
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    edited December 2011
    I'd say around the 2 year mark was a biggie for us too...we started out long distance living 100 miles away from each other so we talked ALOT on the phone.  I think it was getting serious for me around that time because I was deciding "ok do I really commit to this relationship and move or not"  Job wise around that time I had the opportunity to move and he asked me to move in with him which cemented where the relationship was headed for us because I told him I'm not leaving family and friends for you unless we think a forever is gonna be involved.  We've been together 4 years now and sure there are days when I shake my head at him but the majority of the time we are still hand holding mushy kissy face fools for each other.  He's the only one who can make me smile when I am in the nastiest, biatchiest mood and that's a tough thing to do!
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  • edited December 2011
    I've been with my BF for 2 years now.  I don't know may be we are still in a honeymoon phase.  We haven't fought once, I get annoyed at times, but nothing big.  We have been lucky that we have not had any hard obstacles come our way so far.  Both of us are fairly laid back, and we do a pretty good job at communicating with each other.
  • csousa1csousa1
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    edited December 2011
    doubleSS - I LOVE your siggy.
  • AudgiePodgeAudgiePodge
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    edited December 2011
    As long as he has money, we're in the honeymoon phase.
    I'm not good at feelings.

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  • lunarsongbirdlunarsongbird
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    edited December 2011
    Have you had to be near him when he vomits? I definitely think  you need to see your SO in every mood.... ill, mad, sad, irritated, stressed, happy, tired, overwhelmed, ect. before committing.

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  • bethsmilesbethsmiles
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: The "honeymoon" period....:
    Have you had to be near him when he vomits? I definitely think  you need to see your SO in every mood.... ill, mad, sad, irritated, stressed, happy, tired, overwhelmed, ect. before committing.
    Posted by lunarsongbird
    BF cannot handle vomit. If I have the stomach flu he will run to the store to get me whatever I need and then pretty much steers clear of me. I think it's important to go through a death, hospitalization, or other really big event before getting married. I learned a lot about my BF while I was in the hospital for a week. I also think going through something that scary made our relationship stronger.
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  • ravenrayravenray
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    edited December 2011
    I think ours lasted for about 1 year, but in that time we had a long distance relationship for 5 months while I lived in Europe and he started college. 
    I think there is nothing wrong with being happy and mushy, just be aware that it won't be forever and I think you are good.
    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

  • bethsmilesbethsmiles
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: The "honeymoon" period....:
    . I am having a rough semester with school on top of work stuff, and FI has been so supportive.  I came home one night last week to dinner made, dishes done, laundry done, AND the next day's lunch in the fridge.  All because I had a complete mental breakdown over laundry the day before.  I'd take that over the honeymoon phase anyday.  
    Posted by yaga13
    Aww! That is so sweet.
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  • paintgirlpaintgirl
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: The "honeymoon" period....:
    As long as he has money, we're in the honeymoon phase.
    Posted by AudgiePodge
    I <3 you Audgie!
  • paintgirlpaintgirl
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    edited December 2011
    Oh - and I puked ON bf in the car a few weeks ago. (Yes, I was drunk. What about it?) He had to pull over twice on the way home to stick his head out the window and get some air. Then we got home and I took off my clothes in the driveway. (I had puked on them. Seemed reasonable at the time.) And he WASHED my clothes. At midnight. With puke on them. H*ll I was going to throw them away! Good man.
  • doubleSS07doubleSS07
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: The "honeymoon" period....:
    doubleSS - I LOVE your siggy.
    Posted by csousa1
    Why thank you ;)
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  • doubleSS07doubleSS07
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: The "honeymoon" period....:
    Oh - and I puked ON bf in the car a few weeks ago. (Yes, I was drunk. What about it?) He had to pull over twice on the way home to stick his head out the window and get some air. Then we got home and I took off my clothes in the driveway. (I had puked on them. Seemed reasonable at the time.) And he WASHED my clothes. At midnight. With puke on them. H*ll I was going to throw them away! Good man.
    Posted by paintgirl
    What an awesome dude!  Did the drunk thing my self 2 weeks ago and after yelling at him for not telling me he was going back to the hotel room (he did tell me I just didn't remember 5 mins. later) he held my hair while I puked the shots and my guts out and put me in my pj's and then to bed.  Gotta love a man that will hold your hair and wash your clothes!  Keepers I tell you
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  • edited December 2011
    the honeymoon period for my bf and i lasted until right after our 1 year anniversary and we had been living together for 11 months at the time.  then work difficulties came up and we moved into our own place and i got a kitten, which made the crap hit the fan. we are approaching the 1.5 year mark and he talks about the 2 year mark being our deciding point.  which is a long ways away but he is well worth the wait for me. of course we do things that annoy each other all the time, but like the others have said, communication is important.  sometimes i miss the honeymoon period, but it cannot last forever. 
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  • edited December 2011
    For my boyfriend and I the honeymoon period lasted 1 year. Now we're in what I guess you could call the "nesting" period, well for me at least as I'm super excited about us just living together and finally being able to spend holidays together and such. I don't always get butterflies with him and he does annoy me sometimes, but at the end of the day if he weren't there when I walk through our apartment door I know for a fact I'd be a wreck because I love him. He's my best friend, the best lover I've ever had, and I love him unconditionally.
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  • edited December 2011
    We're obviously still in the "honeymoon" period.  See siggy for proof. 
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  • Elle1036Elle1036
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: The "honeymoon" period....:
    In Response to Re: The "honeymoon" period.... : BF cannot handle vomit. If I have the stomach flu he will run to the store to get me whatever I need and then pretty much steers clear of me.
    Posted by bethsmiles
    I'm with your BF on that one. I actually got mad at FI once for coming over while he was sick (this was before we lived together) and subjecting me to his vomit noises.
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