Am I being selfish?

screwyruhe3

Normal 0 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} My mom (and sister) both have a tendency to try and “steal my thunder.” Recently my mom and I were talking about the wedding and she asks me “What song are your Dad and I going to dance to as our first dance song?” I was a little taken back by the question because honestly I have never been to a wedding where the Mother and Father of the bride have a “first dance.” I guess at my sisters wedding they danced, but honestly I don’t see the need… am I being selfish about wanting to have the ONLY first dance song of the night?   

morainemom

Oh, someone is definitely being selfish in the scenario you just presented --- but it isn't you!I am a recent MOB and I can tell you that I have never heard or seen a Mother and Father of the Bride First Dance.People do not want to sit at their tables and watch a ton of dances other than the Bride & Groom's first dance, the Bridal Party and the Father/Daughter and Son/Mother onces.Tell Mommy Dearest that it's a no go.

Simply Fated

I have never heard of this, either... though I have seen the mothers and fathers jump in towards the middle or end of the bride and groom's first dance.No one wants to sit there and watch so many dances... Bride and groom, of course we want to see that. Heck, give us a daughter/father(uncle, brother, etc) dance.. throw in a groom/mother dance. Anything more and I'm taking my slice of cake and asking where the exit is.Too much is too much.

tidetravel

None of your guests want to be tortured by sitting through ANOTHER special dance.  Tell her that she got her first dance song X# of years ago - when she married your dad.

Leah&Christian09

I've seen parents of the B&G dance if they are still married. At the wedding I went to a few weeks ago, they danced to the same song that they danced to as their first dance. It was really cute. They did it later in the evening and didn't announce it, so not everyone even knew it was happening. I think it's a bit of overkill, but I also don't think there's anything wrong with it if they want to do it. When you are walking around in a huge white dress, you will get all the attention you need. Don't worry.

jeannigirl

Whaaaaaaaaaat the heck that is a new one to me. This is you and FI's day not mom and dads their no special dance for parents. Noone seriously whats to have to watch a parent dance. B&G, Mom& Son, Father & Bride yes , Parents OMG give me a drink. Enjoy your day and your not selfish and tell your mom h*** NO.

trix1223

Bring your mom here to this site.  Have her read my reply: My DH and I have been married for 31 years.  We had our "first dance" song 31 years ago at OUR wedding.You can't have a "first dance" if you've been married long enough to be the MOB unless in all those years, you've never danced with each other.I've been MOB and MOG.  I got to dance with our son at their wedding.  My DH got to dance with our DD at their wedding.  WE got to dance alot at both weddings.  Just not in an announced, everybody watch moment.Tell you mom that she can dance with your dad to whatever she wants to.  You'll make sure your DJ has the song, and at some point, she can join everyone else on the floor who is dancing to that song too.BUT she cannot, will not, get a "everyone stop what you're doing and look at me dance at my DD's wedding" dance.

Stackeye210

I think that sounds selfish of her.  We did recognize our parents but the way we did it was different.  I said a little speech where I thanked everyone for coming and then dedicated the next two songs to our parents because we hoped that our marriages were as successful as theirs.  The next two songs were both of their first wedding dance songs. They absolutely loved it.  All of the aunts and uncles cried because they thought it was so sweet.  My father had passed away, so I had my brother ready to grab my mom when their wedding song came on.  She wasn't sad about it, she thought it was a lovely tribute to my dad.  But we did those songs as surprises, and they would never have expected to get their own "song" where they got to dance alone. 

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

They presumably had their "first dance" when they got married.If you do a wedding party dance (which I wouldn't recommend, unless your wedding party is all made up of couples), maybe put them in that.

ScarletGem

I asked the DJ to play my parents' first song (the one from their wedding) during the open dancing part of the reception.  It wasn't announced and the floor wasn't cleared for them or anything, but I grabbed Mom and told her to to go and get Dad right before they played it. 

ootmother2

Is this some ethinic/cultural thing because I've never heard of it.bride & groom have the first dancebride with dad, groom with mother, I know.Parents of the bride dance???  Seems odd to me

Soon2b_Mrs.F

I'm a person who loves to dance at weddings; I actually care more about that than the food. Last year, we went to a very nice wedding, but there was one problem: we had very little opportunity to be out on the floor. The bride and groom had their dance, but after that, there were all dances for "such-and-such," and then "only single people," and on and on. It was annoying. I spent so much of the night watching other people b/c I didn't meet the criteria for that song. So I don't recommend doing a lot of songs where "only this group of people" can dance. When my parents got married, they had a band, and they wanted them to play "Can't Help Falling in Love." However, they didn't know the song and they had to pick something else. It gave me the idea that throughout the night, we could have the DJ play the song that FI parents used, and "Can't Help Falling in Love" and say it's dedicated to our parents. Not that everyone else would have to get off the floor (the DJ will have to communicate that somehow). We thought it might be a nice way to say "thank you" for everything they do for us.

whits900

Agree with other pp - if you want to appease her a bit, you can dedicate a song to them, but everyone can dance to it. But no special dance - that's how weddings get boring for ppl.

kaynix21

Uh...say what? Yeah, why should they get a first dance song? I mean maybe you can invite parents out to join at the end of you and your FI's first dance...I've seen that. But they shouldn't get their own first dance. They had their wedding already, lol. Wow....

jadedecaro

i've never heard of it either.mostly they join in the bride/groom first dance....after that.but heck if ur mom wants it then give it to her!she's ur mom after all.and trust me, on ur wedding day no one is gonna steal ur thunder, not even if they wear a big white beaded ball gown.