HOW LONG DID YOU DATE BEFORE YOU GOT ENGAGED?

ScarletGem

Ditto pp - when you know, you know.  And as an outside observer it's hard to judge whether the couple is "right" or "ready."  We knew each other for about a year before we officially started dating, then we dated (mostly long-distance) for 7 years, and we were engaged for over a year.  As of our wedding day we had been officially in a relationship for a grand total of 8 years, 2 months, and 3 weeks. 

lyndausvi

We started talking about marriage on the 4 date.  He did not offically ask me until he met my parents 7 months later.  Although we had already had the ring made months earlier.  He just really, really wanted to met my parents before we 'annouced' the engagement. We got married 15 months later.  So 2 months shy meeting.  When you know you know. Question? - is this friend a serial dater and always in love? If yes, then I get why you are concerned.  Neither DH or I really were.  We dated, but did not have a lot of bf/gf.  So when we said we were getting married not one person questioned we had only known each other for a few months.

ocprincess

11 months after the first date.   Then we're having an 8 month engagement (total, not 8 more months from now).  Honestly, though, I had a feeling the first time we met in person.  We went out to lunch about a week or so after we started talking online.  He lived and worked about an hour away from me, but it was on the way to my parents house (7 hr drive) so we set up the date when I was on my way up there.  We ended up hanging out way later than planned and losing complete track of time.  He asked me to call him when I got to my parents, because of the long drive, etc, and I agreed.  When I got to the car, there was a message from my mom that my dad had been admitted to the hospital and that the nurses were willing to make an exception to visiting hours for me because there was no way I could make it from Las Angeles to San Francisco in that amount of time.  I was FREAKED, because he hadn't even been ill or whatever.  So, I called now-FI back because my "I made it" call was going to be later, and he was just so understanding and comforting and so it was like this thing in the back of my head...like "I wouldn't mind a husband with this quality."Now, I'm not saying that I KNEW at that point.  I didn't.  But I did see very early on what he was made of, in a way.  He didn't blow me off, and that was important to me.  I've seen now that this really is how he is, not just a good impression thing that he "puts on" so to speak.  I didn't act on that first impression as far as being set that this was IT at that moment, though.  I knew, for sure, sometime between Christmas and my father's birthday party in January.Oddly, every single on of my friends said "that's the man you're gonna marry" when they met him.  My grandmother did, as well.  She took my dad aside (this was just after Christmas, and we had met in September, though this was the first family meeting) and said "so, hope you're saving for a wedding" in all seriousness.To the OP:  I wouldn't freak out yet.  Saying you want to marry someone, or saying that you think they're the one is not the same as sending out save the dates.  :-D  Some people feel that way about every boyfriend, or think that they do, at least.  I, on the other hand, have only said "I love you" to one man.  I reserve that kind of stuff much more.  But that's me.  Some people are more volatile, for lack of a better word.Your friend may be one of those people, especially since she has had two broken engagements.  While I would be nice about it, I might say something to her about taking your time, considering practical matters as well as feelings, etc.  However, I wouldn't say anything unless she mentions getting married again.  However, in the end, it is her life, and really all you can do is pray for her and be there for her.Nothing against those posters who have married quickly, but the OP's friend seems to be someone who has *thought* that she was with The One a few times before, only to not make it to the altar.  For this reason, it might be better for her to take a bit of time and not rush things.

NcsuPsych

Engaged a little after a year of being together. Moved in after we got engaged and will be married in Feb. .  We both feel like we've known each other for soo much longer and everyone here is right . . when you know, you know. I too thought that saying was rediculous but its completely true! My parents *dad and stepmother* had were engaged after 3 months and then got married at 6 months. They've been together for 12 years now   Let your friend have her fun. It's her life and she's got to live it. No one wants anyone else to get hurt, but honestly, thats the only way people learn sometimes. I knew my FI was the one very early on. Again, when you know, you know. Best of luck to her!

melishka716

We were friends for about 3.5 years, then dated for over 3 years before we decided to get married. We had been together for over 4 years before we were married. Altogether, we knew each other for nearly 8 years before we were married.

kjane12

I knew my fiance back in 2000, and we dated after knowing each other for one semester (4+ months).  We were serious for about a yr, and after that it was off and on for about 3 yrs.  And then serious again for 3 yrs, then he popped the question.  Maybe they're just testing the waters to see what they really want.

tomkat2010

We got engaged on our 1 year anniversary, which was also the 1 year anniversary of the first time he asked me to marry him (he asked on our first date). We almost got married that night, but then thought better of it, and then he proposed (again) one year later. But honestly the first time I met him, I knew we'd be together. It took 7 months before our first date, but hey, it eventually happened. So when you know, you know. Your friend has to make her own decisions, and while it's kind of you to be concerned, your opinion should not be offered unless asked for by her.

tomkat2010

Oh I forgot: We're having a 17 month engagement, which is longer than the time were together prior to the engagement, so in total we'll be together just short of 2 1/2 years when we get married.

shellybeth

3.5 years of dating and a 5 month engagement. (2.5 of those years living together)

Soon2b_Mrs.F

We were together almost 5 years when he proposed. And we've had a long engagement, so we'll be together 7 years by the time we get married.

kaynix21

We started dating as juniors in high school (2004). Broke up for awhile, two and a half months short of our four year anniversary. Got back togehter eight months later...We'd been back together for about a year before he proposed and getting married 11 months after.So we've been together roughly four and a half years. This April would've been our five year anniversary if we hadn't taken some time apart.

Tessy87

My FI and I knew each other for 2 months and then moved in together, really fast even for me but it felt like a good choice.  5 months after that he proposed, and our engagement is going to be just over a year.  So things can happen fast but I dont recommend throwing caution to the wind.

MrsK09

FI and I met in Jr. High at the age of 12, we became best friends and were best friends for 12 years!  We dated for about 3 weeks shy of 2 years when we got engaged and we will have been engaged for almost 13 months on our wedding day.  However all that being said, I knew the day we met in Jr. High I wanted to be with him, my parents said the first time they met him that they knew we would end up getting married.  When you know, you know!

rahkstar

2 years exactly to engagement, and now it's going to be another 2 until the big day.  :)i can understand why you're worried, but sometimes you just gotta sit back and let it happen.  good luck!

ShaylaDaPimptress

My FI and I had been dating 5 1/2 yrs before we got engaged and we will be getting married the day after our 7yr anniversary.. I can't say that I knew he was the one 3 days after we started daing .. but for me, I believe time will tell. If your friend doesn't want to take the time to truly get to know this guy then that's on her. I'm sure you will still lend your ear to hear about the problems..that's what friends do.

lu27

We were accuaintences for 2 years before we started dating. Dating for 3 when we got engaged and will be together 4 1/2 when we marry.:)

jamalina

My fiance & I are getting married this Feb. Our 3 year anniversary is on January 4th. I moved in after 5 months which I thought was really fast but I had the feeling that he was the one for me that early on. We have now been living together over 2 years & are soon to be married. I am a firm believer that you don't fully know someone until you live with them!!!!!

KrisRose821

FI and I met in Sept 07 started dating in mid Oct 07 Engaged in July 08 Moved in with each other and will be married in March of 2010 so about 2.5 years of being together. However, FI told me shortly after things started getting serious that he "knew I was the one" after a month of being togheter. I didnt know he felt this way til closer to the engagement. When you know you know!

jordanwells21

Yep when you know you just know! You won't understand until it happens to you. (not saying that it hasn't) I was EXACTLY the same way you are right now. I thought people were just stupid and crazy and just living in the moment. And then it hit me! I got bit by the love bug and there is no cure. My FI and I knew each other our whole lives but didnt really hang out till my jr. year in HS and his SOPH. year in college and that was only a few times that whole year (he went to school 3 hrs. away). All of the sudden on Christamas day 2008 he text me wanting to hang out and we started dating on new years 2009, I moved in a few months later and he proposed the end of May that same year. We are getting married Aug. 2010. I have never been happier in my whole life!!! Trust your friend and if she is wrong in the end just be there for her, everybody makes mistakes!

Budnotes

We met on a dating website February 2008.  Dated 8 months before getting engaged and have been engaged since October 2008.  We wanted a year-long engagement.  We're getting married next weekend!

BabyGirl0923

My FI & I started dating when we were 16 yrs old on March 6th, 2002. He proposed on December 25th, 2008. So by the time we marry on December 12th, 2009, we will have been together for 7 years & a lil over 9 months.

tucci013

We dated for just about 2 years, but I would have said yes after the first date.

hillaryeggert

Dated just over 1 yr. Engaged just over 1.5 yrs - longer than we wanted but we were both in grad school and living 2 states apart.  All in all, together 2 yrs 10 months before our wedding.  Were our circumstances different, though, I would have married him much sooner.For a story a bit closer to yours... my friend's sister just got married to a very wealthy divorce' twice her age; they got engaged after 2 months, married 6 months later.  She sounds like your friend... constantly husband-searching - engaged once (almost twice) before, started talking about marriage as soon as she got into a relationship.  Sadly, all she only wants to have babies and be taken care of.  My friend said, "Well they know they're going to get married, so why wait?"  Maybe because you don't know a person after 2 months?!?  I know it would have been different if he weren't well-off.  The whole thing irks me.Anyway, I think your concern for your friend is justified.  People telling you to mind your own business either didn't understand your friend's history or are the kind of "friend" who wouldn't kindly ask you if you've thought a bad idea through.  See what happens for now - this will most likely go the way of her former relationships.  Have you met the guy?  Maybe he's great.  But if it looks like she's going to get herself trapped in a bad marriage, I wouldn't blame you for talking to her about it.  Good luck!

tayley

FI and I knew each other for 5 months before we started dating, dated for 5 months, and will have been engaged for 13 months when we get married.I think sometimes people just realize that it's right with someone they've known for a long time. A friend of mine got engaged to her husband without ever dating. They were engaged for a month and then got married, and it is an ideal marriage. They love each other so much.

zappatini

4 years, 4 months, and 15 days until we got engaged.  We are having a year long engagement.  To be fair though-our first two years while exclusive was an east coast to west coast long distance relationship.  Then a year and a half Tennessee to Florida courtship until we finally moved in together for a full year. I know people that have gotten engaged after 2 weeks and are still together after 10 years so, I guess it depends ont he couple.

jorgovan

My fiance and I met my freshmen year in high school and were friends until we started talking his senior year (he was a year ahead of me). We dated for about 2 years before we got engaged. When we get married, we will have been married for about 3 years! I agree with most of the ladies here. When you know, you know. My mom told me he wasn't the one for a long time, but I kept holding on. She finally realized he was. I can say from experience that having someone I love tell me the man I love is not the one is hard, so just try to be supportive. I have also been in your position recently. My friend got married after knowing her husband for 1 year and being engaged for 2 months. I just told her she is my friend and I support her. Thats my opinion!

alknapp

11.5 Years.  We started dating on 2/7/98 and got engaged on 7/17/09.  Our wedding will be 9/25/10.

akardas

MY FI and I had been dating for close to 6 and a half years before we were engaged. But we met freshman year in college, so we had four years together then and then life took over afterwards (where we lived apart for two years.. because I went to grad school and he found a job in a different county). We waited for our lives to settle down

guitargirl21

My boyfriend and I (who are soon to be engaged) have known each other for 5 years also. We met in 2004, and we talked off and on during that time, sometimes not speaking for long periods of time since we lived in different states. Eventually, about four years into knowing each other, we started talking on the phone daily for chunks of time and a bit later started dating. It was not even a month into us dating before I knew he was the man I was going to marry. When you know, you know. I don't know your friend, but I do know it's possible to fall in love with someone you may not have been in close touch with for a while. If she decided to marry him right now, I would worry, but just voicing that she thinks he's the one is normal, I think.

Nikkkibean

4 months! We'll be dating for almost 2.5 yrs when we get married. People flipped, thinking we were crazy, but they don't know much.