Chit Chat

Virtual Bridal Shower?

Okay, I haven't seen anyone else address this yet, so I'm not sure what to do.  I live in Colorado and will be getting married here in July.  The only family members I have who live here are my parents; the rest of my family lives in New England and the majority of our guests live somewhere on the East Coast.  One of my mother's sisters recently asked her what we're doing about a bridal shower.  My mother assumed that some of my friends/co-workers would throw one, but I don't think that's going to happen (showers aren't allowed at the office and I don't think most of my friends have the time, money, or inclination to host a shower).  Both my mother and I don't think it's fair to our guests to have them fly out here for a shower then have to fly back out for the wedding a month or so later.  Now my aunt wants to host a shower for me in Maine, even though there's no way I can be there, and then just ship the gifts to me.  I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this.  I mean, if I can't even make it to my own shower, shouldn't I just not have one?  I'm afraid this will make me seem like I'm gift-grubbing, even though it wasn't my idea.  Should I tell her I don't want her to host a bride-less shower, or should I just let her do what she wants?

Stop The Drama!

image Love people. Use things. Never confuse the two.

Re: Virtual Bridal Shower?

  • I agree with Sarah. You shouldn't do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.
  • II would decline, but you don't want to seem ungrateful so be careful with how you word your decline.  I wouldn't feel comfortable attending a party where the guest of honor is not even there.  So, if I were you, I wouldn't feel comfortable with the idea either.  It would be really expensive to ship the gifts too.  A more practical thing would be for people to order things online to have shipped to you or send a gift card, but it would be their choice to do so - not prompted by someone else.
  • I would graciously decline your aunt's offer.  Her heart is in the right place, but I'd agree with you.  It's going to come off as gift-grabby.  If the person for whom the shower is being thrown can't be there~then what exactly is the point?
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • You could ask the November 2009 board about this. They had a virtual shower for one of the Knotties on the board, but I believe it may have been a surprise.

    Best of luck to you.

    Tweet? Me too! Have you checked out our My Real Wedding Gallery for ideas? Upload your photos here and be featured on The Knot!
  • I kinda have the same problem since im having a destination wedding but i live in the destination and no one else does...
    We just registered for our honeymoon, so its all online. I did want people to have to travel to get to a shower and this way makes it simple for everyone...
    just an option...
  • nat213: That's actually what I wanted to do: have a honeymoon registry.  My FI and I have lived together for years and already have most of the things we need.  We also have an apartment right now and plan to move back east after I finish my degree in about 2 years, so we don't want things like china or knick-knacks that have to be stored and moved.  However, my mother wants us to also have a regular registry somewhere so that people can get us a physical gift instead of just giving us money toward the honeymoon...even though without a honeymoon registry we can't afford to take one.  I'm okay with having both, though...I figured I could always register at Target and ask for stuff for the Wii. :)

    Everyone: Thanks for the input.  I was pretty sure my first instinct was right and I should discourage the absentee-bride shower.  I'll talk to my mom and let her know how I feel so she can relay it to her sisters.  She's been really cool through this whole thing, so I know she'll be happy to back me up on this.


    Stop The Drama!

    image Love people. Use things. Never confuse the two.
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