1 Wedding and a Potential Funeral...(vent...)

Tigertyger

Long story short:

My elderly mom got a call from Puerto Rico yesterday. Her mother, my grandmother is on her deathbed. I arranged to have mom and her sister who lives near us in the Bronx to fly out at 5:00am this morning to be in PR by 10:00, to be by Mamita's (her name by which she is called by the whole family) side in the hospital.

Older brother dropped them off at airport, took them as far has he could go.

My mom has flown jetblue hundreds of times in the past. Just a year and half ago she flew with her sister to PR.

Something went wrong this time - she (according second hand from my brothers) missed her flight and never got on the plane.

Now I was used to the idea that mom was going to miss the wedding because of this. I was ok with that. Death is never convienent. But this adds a whole new wrinkle.

We have to face a hard truth, our mom is not well either. The signs of slippage have been creeping on little by little. Repeating the same things, over and over. Accusing people of "stealing", (when things have actually just been misplaced). LIttle things here and there that we dismiss. But it makes me so sad right now that I
1) can't be in PR myself to see the grandmother I haven't seen in 15 years

2) my mom's mental capacities and abilities are declining.

And I have a wedding in 8 days. I did not need this right now, but then nothing ever goes completely smooth in life does it.

Waiting to hear more from brothers about what happened. So we shall see if we can somehow get her to her mother.....

I

biz717

I'm so sorry I hope everything turns out ok. ((hugs))

Tigertyger

...the next direct flight is tonight at 11:59pm....so brother apparently picked her up. On hold with Jetblue, gonna try for a flight tommorrow....

...having some issues with ticketing....praying I can work somethig out....

StephBeanWed61502

I don't know if this will help you right now, but if your mom were to be diagnosed with Alzheimers or something similar (which it seems like you suspect she may have), she would qualify for special assistance from the airlines - kind of like the assistance level kids get when they fly alone.  Maybe accommodations like this could help her if she has to travel alone in the future?

Also, I'm so sorry for what you are going through. 

ElleB87

I'm so sorry you're going through this.  That's a whole lot of bad news to take in.  I second the PP about getting her to a doctor asap.  The airline your mom is travelling with should be able to help her (as long as someone asks them nicely); I used to work in an airport and there was a volunteer program that helped passengers get to where they needed to be.

I hope things start getting better soon.

Best wishes

blgrout

I'm sorry you are going through this, with the added stress of your wedding.

Alzheimers is a terrible thing to deal with.  Both my paternal grandparents have it, and it's difficult to deal with, and the disease has many twists and turns.  If you really think that she might be dealing with early symptoms, I encourage you to get her evaluated (and it's really hard to convince the person with it to do this usually), but they are making lots of advances with medications and therapies to help. 

*hugs* I'll be keeping your family in my prayers.

kmmssg

I have been in your shoes.  For the next 8 days see if your siblings can help keep an eye on her because your plate is full here.  Call and get an appt with her Dr. and go with her.  Go IN with her.  Talk to the Dr office ahead of time and tell them why she will be there and why you need to be in the examining room with her.  My sister had to go through all of this with our dad and giving the Dr's office a heads up is what got the ball rolling.

My dad flunked the "test" he was given with flying colors.  Simple things like signing his name, who was president, drawing a very very simple diagram, etc.  It was the beginning of getting help.

I am so sorry about your grandmother and also about your mother.  Enlist help from everyone over this next week and get through your wedding.  I wish you the best in all of this.

Sarah&Eric2012

I've never posted on this board before but I saw your post and my heart goes out to you.  My paternal grandmother had a difficult time with dementia.  She started to go down hill right after my grandfather passed about 10 years ago.  It started with little things like her asking if we wanted something to drink 15 times, even when we had a drink in front of us.  It ultimately came to her having to be placed in a nursing home because we were afraid of what would happen when someone couldn't be with her 24/7.  My maternal grandmother has what they think is Alzheimers but is progressing so quickly that they are changing their diagnosis to something else (not sure what). 

I definitely agree with PP, get your mom to the doctor as soon as you can and make sure you go in with her.  My grandmother used to flirt with her doctor to get what she wanted (no meds) until my aunt started going with her and telling the real story.  Hopefully your brothers will be able to help out with your mom until after your wedding so that you can focus on that day right now.

I'm sorry about your grandmother.  It's never easy losing a grandparent.  I've lost 2 and a 3rd doesn't know who I am anymore so it's almost like I've lost her as well.  My thoughts and prayers go out to you in this difficult time.

scrpio421

I'm so sorry for the stress you must be under right now. Hang in there!

coopsbaby

Hang in there. I know it must be really tough at a time that should be joyous. We will all be thinking of you here.

My grandma had Alzheimers, and it was hard, but it is good to get a diagnosis so they can start her on therapies and maybe get some help in the home as well. We got someone to come be with my grandma during the day to keep and eye on her and make sure she was taking care of herself and it was wonderful. There are lots of programs out there to help the elderly with dementia, and lots of support for those dealing with relatives with it.

Try to enjoy your wedding, I hope your family can help you out and help keep the stress down. Best wishes!

Tigertyger

....thank you all for the outpouring of sage advice and support! It is very much appreciated. 

Was able to get mom on a flight this morning. I got a gate pass so I practically walked her and my aunt up the plane! She called me from Puerto Rico, around 10:00am, was happy to be back in her element as it were. 

So, now it's just wait and see with Mamita (grandmother) , according to my cousins she's not doing well at all. Just gonna play tihs whole thing by ear.

I'm marrying into a very loving and supportive familly, and have them and my Fiance to help support me. 

Things have a way of working out, and all things happen in God's time. I know that. 

Soon as I can I'm calling mom's neurologist, and getting her to an appointment.

Thank you all...7 days!!!