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Should I invite her?

I met my FI in highschool when we were juniors when he briefly "dated" one of my friends.  They would come over to my parents' house all the time and watch movies with and my then boyfriend.  My FI and I were really good friends back then.  We would IM and text each other all the time and he would call me-but it was mostly to complain about his GF.  Well after a few months they broke up and she blamed it on me.  We were bestfriends since kindergarten and she hardly talked to me the end of that year or during our senior year either.  Her mother openly bashed me to just about anyone who would listen in our little town and even went to my dad's office and yelled at him!  I obviously had nothing to do with them breaking up like they thought I did...I only listened when he would complain.

Well fast foward a few years and my friend and I reconnected our sophomore years of college.  We were really good friends again.  I was glad because like I said she had been one of my bestfriends my whole life.  Well my sophomore year of college I also reconnected with my FI and we started hanging out and dating.  When she found out she was an absolute terror to me once again.  One time she asked about going somewhere with me and then made the comment "Nevermind, you don't want blood in your car".  Pretty childish if you ask me.  Now she is nice to me, like she has gotten over it FINALLY.

My FI and I have been dating for 2 years now and recently got engaged.  So do I invite her to the wedding?  I refuse to invite her family because of the way her mom has treated me.  But, she was such a good friend of mine and I feel like I should.  I know she would be okay with it if I did invite her, but I don't want it to feel like I'm rubbing it into her "haha I have him now" sort of thing.

Re: Should I invite her?

  • i think if she has moved on now then it should be ok to invite her! it is your wedding and you can always kick her out if she tries to make a mess of things and if she is a true friend she'd just sit back and watch and be happy for you! my vote is go for it!
  • That is a tough one. I think I would wait awhile and let the news of the engagement settle down for a bit and then take it from there. See how she acts, if she still seems like she is over the past, etc. If not, I would say don't invite her, but maybe that is just me.
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  • Good idea.  It's just frustrating because that was 5 YEARS ago.  MOVE ON!
  • This was a high school spat and she's still carrying on about it?  How utterly silly.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • i would see how she reacts to get togethers with you, your fi and her, with others also. if she is good company, then yes. but i would wait until later to share wedding plans with her and dont invite her verbally until you decide, or until the invites go out.
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  • You'll be sending invitations six weeks before the wedding, which will be around May 1, 2011.

    Today is May 30, 2010. 

    You should not be wondering about this question a year in advance...
  • I will actually be sending invitations earlier than that, but thanks.
  • I would talk to her  about it just get her feedback on the situation.
  • In Response to Re: Should I invite her?:
    You'll be sending invitations six weeks before the wedding, which will be around May 1, 2011. Today is May 30, 2010.  You should not be wondering about this question a year in advance...
    Posted by Kristin789
    This is a valid worry - my wedding is over a year away and I have started to make a guest list to know how big my venue should be.  And besides, when you start planning a wedding you do start to wonder who to invite.
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  • It was in high school.  Get over it.  That being said, you have a year to see where this friendship goes and then decide whether or not to invite her.

    As for M&R:  yes, while you need to know who you would like to invite to decide on your venue, you do not need an exact count.  2 people (if you decide to invite her and a guest) will not make or break you headcount in deciding your venue.
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  • wait and see how she reacts after knowing about your engagement and decide... but keep in mind, don't forget to watch your own back on this issue. sometimes, we might be too nice and over big-hearted and really think about the old times, but not everybody thinks in that way...
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