Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

What to do with Step-parents?

Any idea what to do with step-parents who feel their role is more important in your wedding than you feel it is?  (e.g. my step-mother (who joined my family when I was 16) feels she should be walked down the aisle like my mom. ) I don't want to hurt feels but I really didn't think I'd do anything other than have them seated like all the other guest.  I, afterall, only have one mother.  Help.

Re: What to do with Step-parents?

  • I guess the big thing is "How involved in your life is your step-mom?" and "If she gets upset, how will that affect your current relationship with your father?".

    My step-mom is not a big part of my life, neither is my bio-dad for that matter (That's his choice). So I did not make a big fuss about either one of them during the ceremony or the reception (They didn't get special "seating" or announced during the reception entrances), but I made sure to order them each flowers from the florist.

    DH has a better relationship with his step-mom, but she didn't get a special "seating" either. We made sure she received parent flowers, and then during the reception entrance, she was announced with DH's dad.

    We were able to "get away" with the decisions we made because of the dynamic our relationships are with them (And that we were the only ones paying for the wedding). If your dad is contributing to the wedding or is otherwise a big part of your life, I would maybe see what he feels is appropriate.


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  • My mom (really my step-mom since my birth mom died when I was young) is getting the same treatment as if my birth mom was here. She gets special seating and flowers and will help with the unity candles (maybe a reading) but as for walking me down the isle, that is for my dad or male family member if something happens to my dad (God forbid)... I nevered like the ideal of a woman walking me down the isle but that is just me I guess...
    Anniversary
  • Such a variety of opinions.  Thanks ladies, you've given me a lot to think about.  I'm glad to hear that as an MOB no one can take  your thunder, I think that's what I'm most concerned about.
  • Catwoman708Catwoman708 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited January 2010

    All the parents should be treated like honored guests, including step parents.  To treat them like "any other guest" is a little bit of a public snub. 

    Your feelings for her are personal, and should not be aired in public.  She may not have a "role" in your wedding, but she has a social satus and "position" in your immediate family because she is your father's wife.

    Have the Stepmoms seated first (escorted to their seats), then the MOG, then the MOB is always seated last, on the front aisle seat.  After your dad walks you down the aisle, he takes his seat with his wife.

    When the FOB has remarried, they are either all seated on the front row (if they get along), or the Father and his wife are seated on the aisle a row or two back. 

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