Unappreciated guests HELP!
Ok I am stressed beyond stress and my h2b is getting stressy with me for not standing up for our wedding but I don’t know how to without causing a huge fight.
Basically we’re getting married abroad and paying for 12 family members to come with us. We’re paying for flights, hotels, meals and excursions for 14 nights which is costing us a bomb. We’ve even paid for passports for the people who didn’t have them since they seemed to think this should be included in our wedding package. This is on top of the wedding itself. We don’t mind as we want the 12 members there and they couldn’t afford to come if we didn’t pay. However they’re all so unappreciated of everything and I feel like telling them all to forget it and cancel the whole thing.
We made the mistake of telling them the 4* hotel we were going to book and we got inundated with reports from them saying ‘trip advisor gives it a bad review’ etc even though we had stayed there and it was really nice. It got so bad that we found another hotel this time a 5* one and booked that. However now we’re getting complaints that it’s going to be ‘too posh’ and they’d prefer the first choice which is crap as they said were the ones kicking of saying they didn’t want to stay there.
They complained about the airline seats and said we should upgrade in case they get dvt and so we did at an extra cost of $9000 and now they’re complaining because they’re not all sat in one line. Seriously there isn’t a plane with 12 seats wide. We’re all sat in one block in front/behind each etc!
We gave them a choice for the wedding meal of 30 meals and not one person out of 12 has managed to pick a meal without causing a problem. The food is either too posh, not posh enough, too American, too spicy etc etc.
My brother has even had the nerve to ask me if I’m buying him and his family new suitcases for the wedding and one guest has asked if the wedding going to be an all day event or will there be time to go to the beach. I’ve had people give me lists of places they’d like to go, and when I’ve told them we’ve hired rental cars for them if they want to visit it they’ve got shitty and said ‘what aren’t you paying for that and driving us there?’ even though we’ve booked them so many day trips already if that want to go on them. My sister even asked if I her booked her dog to go in the kennels for the two weeks – umm no that’s your job!
Everything we’ve told them we’re doing or arranged they’ve moaned about and I’ve had enough. This is crippling us financially and not one person is appreciating it. No one is willing to help organise it or have even offered to pay towards it. I want to remind them that how much this is costing us both financially and in actual effort organising it, and that they’re privileged being invited and that they don’t have to go if they don’t want to. However I know it will cause a major fight. My parents say people are just making suggestions but they’re just as bad, in fact they’re the worse! I can’t talk to them though as I know they’ll say screw your wedding and won’t go which I don’t want.
How can I politely get them to understand the true cost of this and how they’re comments are upsetting me and my h2b? I just want everyone to stop moaning and go and have a good time instead of picking fault with everything when we’ve worked so hard to do everything.