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Angry Friend

I have a friend who is a little upset she isn't going to be a bridesmaid.  I can deal with that, I knew some people would not be happy, but she's gone so far to tell me she does not want one of my best friends as a bridesmaid.  She says she will be angry if my other friend is a bridesmaid and she's not.  This other friend is going to be a bridesmaid.  She is one of my best friends, she's friends with my fiance, and we even met through her.  How do I deal with this other friend and her jealousy issues?  The last thing I want at my wedding is drama.

Re: Angry Friend

  • Your friend is out of line. Nobody has the right to confront a friend about being a bridesmaid. In addition, nobody except you has a say in who should or should not be a bridesmaid. If your friend has a problem with it, its her problem. I wouldn't worry about it causing wedding drama though. People like that are usually all talk or they don't show up because they are angry.

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  • megk8ozmegk8oz
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    Ask whoever you want. Don't include or exclude friends out of guilt for other people's feelings.

    When your friend gets married, she can have whoever she wants as a BM. Right now it's your turn, and you get to pick whoever you want.

    FWIW, I chose to not ask any of my friends because I didn't want to deal with not asking a specific friend who I knew would give me crap about including some people instead of her. While I don't necessarily regret only asking family members, I still get a twinge of sadness and feel a bit like a wuss when I think about 2 really great friends of mine that I didn't include just to avoid confrontation with somebody else.

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  • Ditto pp. What a rude and immature friend (if you want to call her that). I would talk with her and let her know nicely that it is your wedding and you have your reasons (or whatever) that you did not choose her to be a BM. I would tell her that you still want her to be at your wedding (if you do) but make it clear to her that you will not accept any drama. If she can't leave that behind for one day, then she is not truely your friend and she probably won't show up at the wedding either. Weddings tend to bring out people's true colors sometimes.
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  • Your wedding isn't until March of next year. You shouldn't be worried about your wedding party until about six months out.

  • Oh, I didn't even look when the wedding date was....oops
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  • She can't tell you who can't be in your wedding. If this other friend is one of your best friends with you & your FI & intorduced each other then have her in it. If you don't want this girlin your then you don't. She doesn't get a say who is & isn't in your wedding party.
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  • To paraphrase a tv show:  Whose wedding is this?  Yours?  Not her business. 

    If she starts in say "I'm sorry you feel that way.  I look forward to seeing you at our wedding.  What's that?  You won't come if Helga is a BM?  That's a shame.  You'll be missed."
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • Stand up for yourself and your decisions. Wedding planning is stressful enough without this petty chick's comments on your BM choices. Tell her you aren't making changes to the bridal party and would appreciate if she stopped making comments about it. If she doesn't, I'd distance myself from her. You'd be amazed how peaceful things will be for you then, not worrying about petty dramatic friends and their jealousy.

    The same happened with me and a friend who thought was going to be my MOH and made very stupid comments. I chose to distance myself and now feel so much better !

  • 2 of my friends did this to me. I wasn't impressed. I too made the mistake of asking too early. 

    Don't feel guilty about not asking her. Stick to your guns, defend your choices and just enjoy the rest of your planning. She will get over it. 
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  • That's a sucky situation. She needs to be put in her place. Mace her. 
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  • true friend doesn't act like that... don't ask her if you dont want to. i was told by a manager at a jewelry store that she has seen so many brides being bullies by family and friends. this year. and she kept saying "i'd tell those girls to do what they want. dont let anybody bully you." sounds crazy, but it just shows how many people don't really know where they stands at the whole planning. avoid her completely about the whole wedding thing if needed.
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