Moms upset

kamurph55

I dont know what to do. My Fiancee and I have already put a deposit on our wedding venoue and now my mom want us to get married where her and my dad got married. I didnt want to hurt her feelings so I told her we couldnt get out deposit back, but now she is so upset. She said for us to do what ever we want and now she is not talking to us. What do I do. I dont want to fight. Help.

MillerBride11

Personally even if she is chipping in some on the wedding, it's not her day, nor her wedding.And maybe she should of mintioned this a little earlier and you could of negoiated a little. She may be upset but give a few days, then talk to her and let her know you picked the place you did becuase it felt right, ect. there are many ways to include her in the planning or little details of the wedding. She will eventually let it go.  and really most places will not refund your money, and if they do it's not likely to be the full amount.

Kristin789

Why wasn't she included BEFORE you put a deposit down?
And why are you putting down the deposit and signing the contract, if your parenst are hosting the wedding reception?

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_moms-upset?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:3fd180f3-e217-4ed5-8a56-e10549cb55eaPost:a4ecbce7-1bce-41eb-b17f-8f748e0c2be2">Re: Moms upset</a>:
[QUOTE]Why wasn't she included BEFORE you put a deposit down? And why are you putting down the deposit and signing the contract, if your parenst are hosting the wedding reception?
Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]

Good lord. Kristen, where in her post does she say her parents are hosting the wedding reception? Where in her post does she say her parents are paying for <em>anything</em>?

trix1223

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_moms-upset?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:3fd180f3-e217-4ed5-8a56-e10549cb55eaPost:a4ecbce7-1bce-41eb-b17f-8f748e0c2be2">Re: Moms upset</a>:
[QUOTE]Why wasn't she included BEFORE you put a deposit down? And why are you putting down the deposit and signing the contract, if your parenst are hosting the wedding reception?
Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]

Pssst........Kristin.  It's 2010.  More brides and grooms pay for their own weddings nowadays.  Your 1950's mindset is showing again.

FutureMrsFraser

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_moms-upset?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:3fd180f3-e217-4ed5-8a56-e10549cb55eaPost:a4ecbce7-1bce-41eb-b17f-8f748e0c2be2">Re: Moms upset</a>:
[QUOTE]Why wasn't she included BEFORE you put a deposit down? And why are you putting down the deposit and signing the contract, if your parenst are hosting the wedding reception?
Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]

First of all, Where in the OP does it say her parents are hosting? Good Lord.

Regardless, who's paying for the wedding, it's your wedding. Yes your mother does have more say-so in the wedding if she's paying for it, but regardless, I think it's more important to see her daughter get married no matter where the ceremony happens, than to see her daughter get married where she and your father got married. In the end, it's still YOUR wedding.

My FI and I are paying for our wedding completely... and I've included my mother in the planning process and listened to her suggestions, but that's all they have been, suggestions... if I didn't want to go with it, I didn't.

Your mother will come around, if she doesn't, she's being very unreasonable.