Chit Chat

Anyone NOT want to plan their wedding?

I'm currently not engaged (once was and it didnt work out), but I remember literally hating the thought of everything that needed to be done..all the details and decisions. I'm thinking maybe its just not some people's 'thing'. So for those of you who are not very excited to plan everything, what are you and Fi doing instead? Small ceremony, eloping, destination? Just curious and trying to get some Sunday morning chat going!!
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Re: Anyone NOT want to plan their wedding?

  • I know what you mean.  I was the anti-wedding girl for a while, but about 6 months before FI proposed, one of my good friends got engaged, and hearing how excited she was about planning the wedding really pumped me up and got me thinking about plans to run by FI when the time came.

    But by the end, I was running low on steam.  I was sooooo glad when it was over.  We have (had?) a board called Wedding Withdrawals, and brides would whine over there about how sad they were that it was all over.  I just can't relate.  I was glad to be done planning and ready to enjoy newlywed life.
  • I was one of the those that thought she would LOVE wedding planning, turns out i hate it. I dont have the patience for all the small details, the drama and the etiquette. I swear if I hear the words, but thats what you are supposed to do, come out of my mom's mouth again i may have a nervous breakdown!! I want the fancy party and pretty white dress i just dont want to plan it, LOL
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  • I totally agree with Chrisnjay,  I want a beautiful wedding with all the trimming so to speak but I really despise planning it...
  • I didn't want to plan anything and frankly could not care less what any of it looks like. So...destination wedding for us.
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  • I had the same mindset as Salt.

    We picked a lovely hotel on a carribbean island.  The coordinator there is picking everything else for us - the usual photographer, the usual florist, the usual music people, etc...  I definitely don't have the patience to listen to five different musicians to pick the "best" one.  Ugh.

  • RaiKaiRaiKai
    10 Comments
    member
    edited December 2009
    I've never been the girl who dreamed about her wedding details, long before there was even a wedding to dream about!  So, when we got engaged, I was not looking forward to all the details of planning. There were some things I was excited about, aside from marrying my FI of course, like choosing our wedding rings, choosing a dress, and planning where to have the ceremony and such, but I was not that excited about all the little things like invites, flowers, and so on.

    Fortunately, my FI is wonderful at planning and organizing, and had a bit more time than I and so lifted a lot of the planning and organizing work off of me.

    There were several other ways we minimized the planning required. We decided on a short engagement (more time seems to mean more time to add more planning!), we made a very small guest list, don't have a wedding party, we chose to have a destination wedding at a resort where we could arrange for them to find a florist for example (to which we just said "pick something seasonal and colourful"). We also chose to have an "a la carte" dinner after rather than a reception. Because of our choices, we took out things that add more "planning" or "details" like gift registries, wedding cake, menus, colour themes, save the dates, table settings, reception sites, centrepieces, etcetera.

    The minimal planning there is left as a result has made the experience a lot of fun, for us both. It will be a much more informal wedding, but much more reflective of "us" as well.

    If we had gone with a larger wedding, we would of hired a wedding planner.
  • In Response to Re: Anyone NOT want to plan their wedding?:
    I had the same mindset as Salt. We picked a lovely hotel on a carribbean island.  The coordinator there is picking everything else for us - the usual photographer, the usual florist, the usual music people, etc...  I definitely don't have the patience to listen to five different musicians to pick the "best" one.  Ugh.
    Posted by Joy2611
    Hi Joy! Let's be friends.
    Which island are you getting married on?
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  • Alrighty.

    Bermuda.  Love it.

    Where are you?
  • Killer! I've never been there, but hear that it is lovely. :) We'll be in Turks & Caicos. 2 more months wheeee!
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  • I am right there with you... not only do I want to hop on the first flight to Vegas, I want to leave the in-laws and family behind!! Ugh. We can't elope or have a destination wedding though- not an option.
    Unfortunately, my fiance is Catholic, which means MORE planning b/c I can't have the wedding I want-- outside. He wants his marriage to be recognized by the Catholic church -- and his family, which means planning two weddings! AHHH!!! First we'll have a small chapel wedding in our local parish. Then I have to plan the outside ceremony with my pastor and reception. :sigh:
  • Seriously,
    I am lost. I havent been to or been in a wedding since i was 8 yrs old. I havent a clue as to what i am planning. We are doing destination, but there's still a lot to go into it.....Im gonna scream.
    any advice
  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    member
    edited December 2009
    oooh... I've heard *wonderful* things about Turks and Caicos.  Two of my friends honeymooned there after their wedding a few years ago.  They said it was just beautiful and relaxing.

    I hear there isn't much to do outside of the beach or outside activities.  If it rains, you are stuck in your hotel.  True?  Or just a myth?
  • In Response to Re: Anyone NOT want to plan their wedding?:
    oooh... I've heard *wonderful* things about Turks and Caicos.  Two of my friends honeymooned there after their wedding a few years ago.  They said it was just beautiful and relaxing. I hear there isn't much to do outside of the beach or outside activities.  If it rains, you are stuck in your hotel.  True?  Or just a myth?
    Posted by Joy2611
    Yay I always love good reviews. What you heard is probably true if you are staying somewhere without a lot of options. The resort where we are getting married is ginormous and had a ton of activities so if it rains we'll be ok. :) 

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  • In Response to Re: Anyone NOT want to plan their wedding?:
    Unfortunately, my fiance is Catholic, which means MORE planning b/c I can't have the wedding I want-- outside. He wants his marriage to be recognized by the Catholic church -- and his family, which means planning two weddings! AHHH!!! First we'll have a small chapel wedding in our local parish. Then I have to plan the outside ceremony with my pastor and reception. :sigh:
    Posted by bjdavis511
    Uh, what? You couldn't come up with a better compromise than that?
  • Sweet!

    Have a great time in February!  I'm sad that I have to wait so long for my own wedding, but getting a Ph.D. and my sister's wedding comes first chronologically :)
  • Ok, I'm in the boat of "wanting big and fancy, but want somebody else to do all the leg work". That was actually a huge selling point on our venue. Included in our "per head price" (Which $100 pp in NJ is a steal no matter what they give you) they gave us the ceremony, the reception, the cake, the center pieces, the linens (I only had to pick an underlay and napkin color), the chargers and silverware ...

    Well, they pretty much gave us everything except attire, BP flowers, favors and invitations. And it's all going to look great. I couldn't be happier.

    If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
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  • In Response to Re: Anyone NOT want to plan their wedding?:
    Sweet! Have a great time in February!  I'm sad that I have to wait so long for my own wedding, but getting a Ph.D. and my sister's wedding comes first chronologically :)
    Posted by Joy2611
    Thanks, dear! It sounds like you have many good reasons to backburner it for now...with all that stuff going on, time will probably fly for you anyway!
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  • I'm totally with you all on this one, for a few reasons.
    I have zero desire to have a big wedding - neither of us like to have a fuss made. I never "got it" doing things for friends weddings ( I usually thought to myself - are you kidding me?? - no one cares but you...pick something already ) I'm not sure if I'm synical, practical or just a big fancy $$$ wedding bah-hum bug. but I really think people are  nuts to spend so much, expect so much and along with what chrisnjay said..I'm so sick of hearing and reading " the most important day of your life.." ugh gimmie a break...We have both had some pretty significant days already.. and will no doubt have more..

    My extent of planning, and it's even starting to wear me down is two weeks in Alaska, find a lodge, officiant, cake, photographer, get announcement/ addresses ready, buy a band for him. Gift idea for lodge owners,and so on  - it's crazy already.. and I have very little to do aside from showing up - I wouldn't have been able to handle a big one no way..
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