HUGE fight

MrsG2B83

Lemme start it off like this: I was a serious late bloomer when it comes to driving. My mother didn't drive and I freaked out my first few times behind the wheel. Everyone who drove with me drilled it in my head that I'm a bad driver. So I never got my license. Fast forward 12 years later and I'm engaged to a man who has a different "lifeclock" than I do (i.e my noon is his midnight) and just doesnt understand why I have to go back to Michael's AGAIN to get just the right ribbon. He started suggesting that I just take his car, first around the block then a little further each time. As of this weekend, I was driving from one side of the city to another easy-peasy and people were actually saying "hey, you're a good driver". I felt really good about myself and my ability to pull this DIY wedding off in 11 more days. I even had a goal to take my road test after the wedding.

Then there was the dent.

The bottom of the front passenger side door was dented. And I received a call saying the neither I nor our roommate Allison is allowed to drive his car anymore. I'm leaving Allison out of this: I don't know how she feels or what she said but I am IRATE.

Firstly; I felt like I wasn't trusted. Either he thinks I'm too stupid to drive the car without crashing it or too dishonest to tell him if I did it. Secondly, how did he know that one of the other hundred of people in the dozens of parking lots we've parked in didn't back up into our car and drove off? Thirdly, I feel like some teenager being punished for scratching Daddy's car AND I DIDN'T DO IT. Fourth-ly (?) THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO START CLIPPING MY WINGS. I HAVE TOO MUCH TO DO IN THE NEXT 11 DAYS TO BE BEGGING FOR RIDES OR TAKING THE BUS!

So I waited for him to change his mind. Then I screamed. And yelled. Threw his keys at him. Made some threats. Maybe called off the wedding.

Then he gathered up his things and went to his moms.

Ugh.

vicki0508

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_huge-fight?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:52a54e32-969d-46c9-aa13-3d6fd365a33aPost:07923e87-c532-4193-be4c-cd69677033c9">HUGE fight</a>:
[QUOTE]Lemme start it off like this: I was a serious late bloomer when it comes to driving. My mother didn't drive and I freaked out my first few times behind the wheel. Everyone who drove with me drilled it in my head that I'm a bad driver. So I never got my license. Fast forward 12 years later and I'm engaged to a man who has a different "lifeclock" than I do (i.e my noon is his midnight) and just doesnt understand why I have to go back to Michael's AGAIN to get just the right ribbon. He started suggesting that I just take his car, first around the block then a little further each time. As of this weekend, I was driving from one side of the city to another easy-peasy and people were actually saying "hey, you're a good driver". I felt really good about myself and my ability to pull this DIY wedding off in 11 more days<strong>. I even had a goal to take my road test after the wedding.</strong> Then there was the dent. The bottom of the front passenger side door was dented. And I received a call saying the neither I nor our roommate Allison is allowed to drive his car anymore. I'm leaving Allison out of this: I don't know how she feels or what she said but I am IRATE. Firstly; I felt like I wasn't trusted. Either he thinks I'm too stupid to drive the car without crashing it or too dishonest to tell him if I did it. Secondly, how did he know that one of the other hundred of people in the dozens of parking lots we've parked in didn't back up into our car and drove off? Thirdly, I feel like some teenager being punished for scratching Daddy's car AND I DIDN'T DO IT. Fourth-ly (?) THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO START CLIPPING MY WINGS. I HAVE TOO MUCH TO DO IN THE NEXT 11 DAYS TO BE BEGGING FOR RIDES OR TAKING THE BUS! So I waited for him to change his mind. Then I screamed. And yelled. Threw his keys at him. Made some threats. Maybe called off the wedding. Then he gathered up his things and went to his moms. Ugh.
Posted by MrsG2B83[/QUOTE]
Honestly, I wouldn't let an unlicensed, uninsured person drive my car either.

crash2729

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_huge-fight?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:52a54e32-969d-46c9-aa13-3d6fd365a33aPost:663199c9-e1bb-4123-9ef0-4dd2b1107a3e">Re: HUGE fight</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to HUGE fight : Honestly, I wouldn't let an unlicensed, uninsured person drive my car either.
Posted by vicki0508[/QUOTE]

This.
There are some serious reprecussions of both those things (at least in my state.) Including the impounding of the car and/or jail time.

I know it's upsetting now, but I think you should take the night and calm down, then try to see things from his perspective.

MairePoppy

ditto Vicki

It's great that you're building confidence in your driving skills. But if you are driving illegally, what happens if you get into an accident? Your fi was wrong to hand the keys over to you in the first place.

BunnyChii

As PPs have said, your FI took a big risk giving you the keys and letting you drive on your own. It's not even a matter of how good you are as a driver, but rather if something DID happen when you were driving, whether it was your fault or not, you could both get in serious trouble.

I have had serious anxieties about driving as well. I just got my driver's license this January (I'm 21) and I know that I wasn't allowed to practice driving on my own without a licensed driver with me.

I understand feeling defensive when it comes to your driving and that it may be a sore spot for you since you've had troubles with driving. But try to calm down tonight and see things from his perspective. Talk it out with him tomorrow.

You may not have left the dent, but you shouldn't be driving without a license either. Good luck.

jferlenda

PPs are absolutely right.  He shouldn't have let you drive the car alone if you don't have a license.  That could get the two of you into some serious trouble.

That horrible decision aside, I do agree with you that from your story it seems like he overreacted about the dent.  If my FI acted like that towards me about using his things I would be upset, too.  Then again, you may have overreacted as well.  Could you have approached the situation a little more appropriately than screaming and calling off the wedding?  A quiet, adult conversation about how his "proclamation" made you feel probably would've been more effective.  

At this point, I would agree with the PP who said to give it the night to calm down.  Call him in the morning and get together to have a conversation about the problem.  Try not to get heated again and hopefully you can work things out.

And just one more time...please don't drive that car again without a permit and a licensed, insured driver in the passenger seat.

courtney1188

Oh my gosh, you are so lucky you didn't get pulled over at any point! Then there wouldn't be a wedding to worry about because you could very likely be in jail! If I was your FI I'd definitely freak out, I never would of let you drive it in the first palce, that is incredibly dangerous.

NcsuPsych

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_huge-fight?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:52a54e32-969d-46c9-aa13-3d6fd365a33aPost:07923e87-c532-4193-be4c-cd69677033c9">HUGE fight</a>:
[QUOTE]Lemme start it off like this: I was a serious late bloomer when it comes to driving. My mother didn't drive and I freaked out my first few times behind the wheel. Everyone who drove with me drilled it in my head that I'm a bad driver. So I never got my license. Fast forward 12 years later and I'm engaged to a man who has a different "lifeclock" than I do (i.e my noon is his midnight) and just doesnt understand why I have to go back to Michael's AGAIN to get just the right ribbon. He started suggesting that I just take his car, first around the block then a little further each time. As of this weekend, I was driving from one side of the city to another easy-peasy and people were actually saying "hey, you're a good driver". I felt really good about myself and my ability to pull this DIY wedding off in 11 more days. I even had a goal to take my road test after the wedding. Then there was the dent. The bottom of the front passenger side door was dented. And I received a call saying the neither I nor our roommate Allison is allowed to drive his car anymore. I'm leaving Allison out of this: I don't know how she feels or what she said but I am IRATE. Firstly; I felt like I wasn't trusted. Either he thinks I'm too stupid to drive the car without crashing it or too dishonest to tell him if I did it. Secondly, how did he know that one of the other hundred of people in the dozens of parking lots we've parked in didn't back up into our car and drove off? <strong>Thirdly, I feel like some teenager being punished for scratching Daddy's car AND I DIDN'T DO IT</strong>. Fourth-ly (?) THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO START CLIPPING MY WINGS. I HAVE TOO MUCH TO DO IN THE NEXT 11 DAYS TO BE BEGGING FOR RIDES OR TAKING THE BUS! <strong>So I waited for him to change his mind. Then I screamed. And yelled. Threw his keys at him. Made some threats. Maybe called off the wedding. Then he gathered up his things and went to his moms. Ugh.</strong>
Posted by MrsG2B83[/QUOTE]

Okay, yes this sucks. I've known people that were afraid to drive and I never fully understood it until I was ran off the road by an 18wheeler a couple weeks ago. I couldn't get in my car for a couple of days. Eventually the fear went away and all is well. However, if you're uninsured & don't have a liscense then you have NO reason to be driving.

If I had been driving near you and you hit my car, whether on accident or not, I'd be pissed as He11!!!!! There is a reason why you take the driving tests and get insurance. It's to cover the accidents that could possibly happen. If you haven't taken those tests and/or don't have insurance.  .. then the other person involved in the accident is solely responsible for repairs (unless it's taken to court). You're also extremely lucky to have not gone through a check point or gotten pulled over. That would have been REALLY bad.

Also. . the bolded area. .. you said you feel like he's treating you like a teenager. Well, you're last bolded area. .  that little temper tantrum is what teenagers do when they're told 'no, you can't drive my car'. Sooo if you don't want to be treated like one, dont act like one.

I understand youre stressed. You're 11 days from your wedding. However threatening to call / possibly have already called off the wedding is the most immature thing you could have done at this moment. I'm thinking the stress probably paid into that, but if you're willing to call off your wedding because your FI wont let you (someone who DOESNT have a liscense) drive his car. . well, IMO theres some growing up that's needed.

And just so you don't think we're all big meanies. . realize that driving without a liscnese / insurance is extremely dangerous to all parties considered. It's also really ignorant and I do feel like your FI is at blame too. He should have known better. We're not meanies, we're simply informing you of the 'rights and wrongs' of driving in your situation.

Now, if you're wedding is still on. . next time you go shopping for DIY stuff, but EXTRA and then return whatever is left. That's what I did so that I didnt need to constantly drive out to the store, especially since it's a good 45 mins away.

I do wish you the best of luck on regaining your relationship and hope everything goes well. This should not have been a huge fight IMO.

Best of luck.

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_huge-fight?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:52a54e32-969d-46c9-aa13-3d6fd365a33aPost:663199c9-e1bb-4123-9ef0-4dd2b1107a3e">Re: HUGE fight</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to HUGE fight : Honestly, I wouldn't let an unlicensed, uninsured person drive my car either.
Posted by vicki0508[/QUOTE]

<div>This.</div><div>
</div><div>The dent more than likely made him aware that god forbid you did get in an accident (your fault or not) you are not insured and he will be financially screwed.</div>

tayylor65

1. I agree with PP about how you shouldn't be driving unlicensed/uninsured anyway.

2. My fiance is similar with his car.  Granted, we both have vehicles so it isn't a huge deal, but mines on it's last leg and I'm avoiding a new car with new payments as long as possible and he has a very nice BMW that's important to him.  He lets me drive it sometimes but a few months ago I mentioned how some guy almost rammed into me honking when I was going through the toll booth and he freaked out and decided I shouldn't drive the car for awhile even though I did nothing wrong.  Point is--accept it and talk to him about it when he calms down.  It IS his car so don't have a fit.  When youre married and buy a car together you'll be entitled to drive it.

[Deleted User]

It sounds to me like all he did was say you can't drive his car anymore, then left when you threw a temper tantrum and told him you no longer wanted to marry him. And considering you don't have a license and haven't taken a driving test, he has every right to not let you drive his car. So, why exactly are you mad at him? Driving without a license or insurance is just irresponsible, so I can't have sympathy for someone who is pissy about not being able to break the law anymore.

You should apologize to him for acting like a child and throwing stuff at him.

RamonaFlowers

I have to ditto the PPs, as much as you don't want to hear it: you never should have been allowed to drive his car in the first place. Granted, this puts your FI at fault here, too, since this was his brilliant idea in the first place ... and it seems like he only did it because he was tired of being inconvenienced by you not having a license. But you still shouldn't have ever been behind the wheel of his car without at least a learner's permit-and if you had one of those, you shouldn't have been driving by yourself until after you had your actual license.

I work in the insurance industry, and the consequences you and your FI would have faced if you had gotten into an accident or something would have been quite dire. Unless he was a real jerk and tried claiming you stole his car, he actually would have gotten into just as much trouble than you. On your own, you probably would have been not allowed to get a license for a few more years, and when you finally did, your insurance would have been astronomically high.

But in addition to that, if you accidentally hit somebody that had an "unlimited tort" option in their insurance policy (Which means "unlimited right to sue"), they could have taken you and your FI to court, and you could have easily lost the car, had both of your wages garnished, and depending on what kind of damage was caused, you both could have both could have lost everything you own (Including your home if you own one) or even ended up serving time in prison.

You both sound like you're very immature, and I really feel that if you both still want to go through with the wedding at this point, you should probably put it off until you're both mature enough to understand basic things, like what is and is not considered illegal.

Good luck to you both!

FutureJilliannD

PPs are right, the legal consequences of you driving the car are just not worth the risk. I understand that it must be frustrating to be able to go anywhere you want and then have that taken away from you, but you did kind of act like a teenager about it.

You are so close to your wedding, and, assuming you want to marry this man, that is what you need to concentrate on right now: talking this problem out and deciding if you truly are ready to get married.

nrawlings26

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_huge-fight?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:52a54e32-969d-46c9-aa13-3d6fd365a33aPost:07923e87-c532-4193-be4c-cd69677033c9">HUGE fight</a>:
[QUOTE]Lemme start it off like this: I was a serious late bloomer when it comes to driving. My mother didn't drive and I freaked out my first few times behind the wheel. Everyone who drove with me drilled it in my head that I'm a bad driver. So I never got my license. Fast forward 12 years later and I'm engaged to a man who has a different "lifeclock" than I do (i.e my noon is his midnight) and just doesnt understand why I have to go back to Michael's AGAIN to get just the right ribbon. He started suggesting that I just take his car, first around the block then a little further each time. As of this weekend, I was driving from one side of the city to another easy-peasy and people were actually saying "hey, you're a good driver". I felt really good about myself and my ability to pull this DIY wedding off in 11 more days. I even had a goal to take my road test after the wedding. Then there was the dent. The bottom of the front passenger side door was dented. And I received a call saying the neither I nor our roommate Allison is allowed to drive his car anymore. I'm leaving Allison out of this: I don't know how she feels or what she said but I am IRATE. Firstly; I felt like I wasn't trusted. Either he thinks I'm too stupid to drive the car without crashing it or too dishonest to tell him if I did it. Secondly, how did he know that one of the other hundred of people in the dozens of parking lots we've parked in didn't back up into our car and drove off? Thirdly, I feel like some teenager being punished for scratching Daddy's car AND I DIDN'T DO IT. Fourth-ly (?) THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO START CLIPPING MY WINGS. I HAVE TOO MUCH TO DO IN THE NEXT 11 DAYS TO BE BEGGING FOR RIDES OR TAKING THE BUS! So I waited for him to change his mind. Then I screamed. And yelled. Threw his keys at him. Made some threats. Maybe called off the wedding. <strong>Then he gathered up his things and went to his moms</strong>. Ugh.
Posted by MrsG2B83[/QUOTE]

i would do the same thing to if you threw a hissy fit at me. as pp's said if you don't want to be treated like a teenager stop acting like one

FutureJilliannD

Off topic, but the phrase clipping my wings made me LOL. It made me think of The Other Guys "I'm like a peacock! You gotta let me fly!!"

ggirl2001

Ditto all the previous posters. Just because your FI was wrong in the first place by giving you the car does not make it right for you to react the way you did. Throwing a hissy fit? if I did that to my FI and threw keys and threatened to call off the wedding, it woudl be called off already by him for  me acting that way. I understand that you feel like he is blaming you, and that feeling sucks, however blaming him back doesn't resolve it either. You need to talk to him like a responsible adult, explain your feelins WITHOUT blaming him, i.e. I understand that your upset about your car, however to me it felt like you were blaming me without giving me a chance to explain and that made me feel like a teenager. He is not responsible for your feelings, you are.

maddie7

Is this for real? Really? No license and you could kill someone?

redheadfsu

Ditto.

1. You should not be driving anyone's car anywhere. 

2. It is great that your FI is taking responsibility and realizing that he can not allow you to drive his car anymore. You don't have a license or insurance. You were doing something dangerous and illegal.

3. He is treating you like a teenager because you are acting like one. You were driving a car without a license/insurance. 

4. Dents happen (mysteriously sometimes), but he gets to not be happy about it.
 
5. You could have killed yourself or someone else. What would have happened if you got arrested or got a ticket? Realize you are wrong. Take a driver's ed. course and get your license/ insurance before you drive again.

6. Even kids look like fools when they throw a hissy fit. So a grown woman throwing a hissy fit is beyond foolish. Apologize.  Throwing things and making threats can get you thrown in jail.

7. If you are acting like this, you are way too immature to get married. Postpone until you get some counseling to handle your communication/anger issues.

Edit: I just looked at your profile...You have a child. I hope  that you did not have your child in the car while you were driving. Er, there are just no words for how irresponsible you are.

nrawlings26

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_huge-fight?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:52a54e32-969d-46c9-aa13-3d6fd365a33aPost:d2ca3781-dbe1-452d-b2a2-71d98b4c98d8">Re: HUGE fight</a>:
[QUOTE]Ditto. 1. You should not be driving anyone's car anywhere.  2. It is great that your FI is taking responsibility and realizing that he can not allow you to drive his car anymore. You don't have a license or insurance. You were doing something dangerous and illegal. 3. He is treating you like a teenager because you are acting like one. You were driving a car without a license/insurance.  4. Dents happen (mysteriously sometimes), but he gets to not be happy about it.   5. You could have killed yourself or someone else. What would have happened if you got arrested or got a ticket? Realize you are wrong. Take a driver's ed. course and get your license/ insurance before you drive again. 6. <strong>Even kids look like fools when they throw a hissy fit. So a grown woman throwing a hissy fit is beyond foolish.</strong> Apologize.  Throwing things and making threats can get you thrown in jail. 7. If<strong> you are acting like this, you are way too immature to get married. Postpone until you get some counseling to handle your communication/anger</strong> issues.
Posted by redheadfsu[/QUOTE]

i totally agree with everythign you said and esp. the ones i bolded. OP i was grown up spoiled, always got my way so when i moved in with my bf at the time (ex now) i was lost. throwing a hissy fit because you can't get your way does not go good in a realtionship. thats why i am not with him anymore, he left me because he was sick of my hissy fits (i auctally lost 3 bfs to this) i am now 26 and i realized it is time for me to grow the fk up...

wiwicaty

Are you kidding? Never mind that he gave you the keys... why did YOU drive a car without a license??? You mean you were going to keep doing it, run errands and stuff for who knows how long WITHOUT A LICENSE?? That's against a law! Are you old enough to know the law?? This is screwed up, man.

MrsG2B83

Well thanks. I am officially beating myself up over this and I'm pretty sure I don't want to drive anymore. This whole thing freaked me out.

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_huge-fight?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:52a54e32-969d-46c9-aa13-3d6fd365a33aPost:c4705060-5c02-428b-ae52-73ea623a4a5d">Re: HUGE fight</a>:
[QUOTE]Well thanks. I am officially beating myself up over this and I'm pretty sure I don't want to drive anymore. This whole thing freaked me out.
Posted by MrsG2B83[/QUOTE]

<div>You shouldn't want to drive anymore.  If you do, you belong in jail.</div><div>
</div><div>You acted like a spoiled 3 year old when he finally came to his senses and decided to stop participating in criminal behavior.  You should beat yourself up.  You should also be getting some counselling for your need to behave this way.  </div><div>
</div><div>It sounds like you have a LOT of growing up to do before you even think about getting married.</div><div>
Good luck with that.  </div>

Cynthia1207

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_huge-fight?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:52a54e32-969d-46c9-aa13-3d6fd365a33aPost:c4705060-5c02-428b-ae52-73ea623a4a5d">Re: HUGE fight</a>:
[QUOTE]Well thanks. I am officially beating myself up over this and I'm pretty sure I don't want to drive anymore. This whole thing freaked me out.
Posted by MrsG2B83[/QUOTE]

There's no need to beat yourself up.  Just go and take your driver's license test and THEN you can drive.  There is no point in driving without a license.  I'm freaked when FI leaves his wallet at home to go to the gym which is 3 blocks or so away.  It's irresponsible.

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_huge-fight?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:52a54e32-969d-46c9-aa13-3d6fd365a33aPost:7f37dfc2-93ed-4b21-ae48-09f51fbb5120">Re: HUGE fight</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: HUGE fight : There's no need to beat yourself up.  Just go and take your driver's license test and THEN you can drive.  There is no point in driving without a license.  I'm freaked when FI leaves his wallet at home to go to the gym which is 3 blocks or so away.  It's irresponsible.
Posted by Cynthia1207[/QUOTE]

<div>FYI, no license on person is hugely different than actually not having a license.  If he just forgot it, they can look him up and make sure he actually has a valid license, and may or may not write him a citation.  Typically the fine is around $100, if they don't dismiss it or let him go with a warning.  </div><div>
</div><div>If you are caught driving when you actually do not have a license, you will get arrested and taken to jail.  Then your typical fine is more like $1000 in addition to the jail time, plus you'll probably have to hire a bondsman and an attorney.  Most states also make you ineligible to get a license for a period as well.  Plus, having an arrest record is a pretty BFD.</div>

Cynthia1207

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_huge-fight?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:52a54e32-969d-46c9-aa13-3d6fd365a33aPost:b74e29b4-5bb8-4dc9-ba98-f67034bbb5e5">Re: HUGE fight</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: HUGE fight : FYI, no license on person is hugely different than actually not having a license.  If he just forgot it, they can look him up and make sure he actually has a valid license, and may or may not write him a citation.  Typically the fine is around $100, if they don't dismiss it or let him go with a warning.   If you are caught driving when you actually do not have a license, you will get arrested and taken to jail.  Then your typical fine is more like $1000 in addition to the jail time, plus you'll probably have to hire a bondsman and an attorney.  Most states also make you ineligible to get a license for a period as well.  Plus, having an arrest record is a pretty BFD.
Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]

Yes I know.  I merely said that I get freaked if FI leaves the house without a license because it's irresponsible so you can just imagine how I would feel about someone driving without a license....

vicki0508

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_huge-fight?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:52a54e32-969d-46c9-aa13-3d6fd365a33aPost:b74e29b4-5bb8-4dc9-ba98-f67034bbb5e5">Re: HUGE fight</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: HUGE fight : FYI, no license on person is hugely different than actually not having a license.  If he just forgot it, they can look him up and make sure he actually has a valid license, and may or may not write him a citation.  Typically the fine is around $100, if they don't dismiss it or let him go with a warning.   If you are caught driving when you actually do not have a license, you will get arrested and taken to jail.  Then your typical fine is more like $1000 in addition to the jail time, plus you'll probably have to hire a bondsman and an attorney.  Most states also make you ineligible to get a license for a period as well.  Plus, having an arrest record is a pretty BFD.
Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]
And your car gets towed.  Then you have to pay the tow fee, the impound fee, and any storage fees.

OP - I think it's really immature to go spouting off about canceling the wedding.  What if he calls your bluff?  I think it's good that you're beating yourself up, because maybe next time you'll think twice before driving illegally and then throwing a temper tantrum.

Is your wedding back on?  Have you talked with FI about it?  At the very least you should be apologizing and see where it goes from there.

crash2729

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_huge-fight?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:52a54e32-969d-46c9-aa13-3d6fd365a33aPost:c4705060-5c02-428b-ae52-73ea623a4a5d">Re: HUGE fight</a>:
[QUOTE]Well thanks. I am officially beating myself up over this and I'm pretty sure I don't want to drive anymore. This whole thing freaked me out.
Posted by MrsG2B83[/QUOTE]

It seems like you still don't understand the potential consequences of what you were doing.

If anything, you should want to go get your license and insurance.

But, an update on how the situation is going with your FI would be nice.

kgettingmarried

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_huge-fight?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:52a54e32-969d-46c9-aa13-3d6fd365a33aPost:c4705060-5c02-428b-ae52-73ea623a4a5d">Re: HUGE fight</a>:
[QUOTE]Well thanks. I am officially beating myself up over this and I'm pretty sure I don't want to drive anymore. This whole thing freaked me out.
Posted by MrsG2B83[/QUOTE]

It freaks me out that you are driving without a license, and not insured, and that you are a very inexperienced nonlicensed driver potentially driving WITH A CHILD in the car!

Please tell me you did not drive with your child in the car.  I am horrified at the possibility.

lindseyann410

OP, I think it's great that you are overcoming your fear.  However, you need to do it legally!  

Study up, take the test, then you can drive all you want.

If you had just calmly explained that you didn't cause the dent and you would have told him if you did instead of yelling at him and making threats, you probably would have avoided this whole situation.  He probably would have calmed down an let your resume driving his car when you can do it legally.

Sincerely apologize, then work on getting your license.  There are driving schools that can help you do this legally.  Good luck!

mrshellem2012

I wouldnt want to post an update if i was her, not after seriously getting her butt chewed.

crash2729

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_huge-fight?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:52a54e32-969d-46c9-aa13-3d6fd365a33aPost:10259a56-1e42-4c3d-b602-cc715ce399eb">Re: HUGE fight</a>:
[QUOTE]I wouldnt want to post an update if i was her, not after seriously getting her butt chewed.
Posted by mrshellem2012[/QUOTE]

I don't think she got her butt chewed. I think she just got a dose of common sense and reality. She (and he) needs to be aware of these reprecussions.