Ugh. Just a rant.

nikkicraft

Fiance is on this site, as well.
Just one problem: he signed up the last time he was engaged. It still thinks he got married in August. He won't update it.

Maybe I'm just moody and w/e, but he is a lot less helpful planning our wedding. Maybe he thinks it'll turn out like it did for him last time (when he was 20).
I still don't have a ring. I'm not too sad, because I understand (he's starting a construction business and is still in the money's-tight phase), but I don't think it's too fair his former fiance still wears the one he gave her. And flaunts it whenever she gets the chance. He had an engagement ring from her. It went missing when we moved.

On the other hand, I practically have more enthusiasm than necessary from his mother. And none from mine.

And then I have to go look at venues and find a place to have the actual wedding, and the reception place is... well... a redneck's dream. I'm going to have to cover over 100 toy tractors. But, it's affordable and looks nice without all the tractors.

Need a sanity saver.

J&K10910

1.  Does he currently use the site?  If not, I don't see the problem.
2.  That's really weird that ex-fiancee still wears her e-ring.
3.  What do you mean, "it went missing"?  Did YOU make it go missing?
4.  You don't have to have your reception at the same place as the wedding.
5.  This whole situation is really, really weird.

emarston1

I agree it's weird that his former fiancee still wears the ring but it is her ring so it's perfectly "fair" for her to wear it.

And sometimes guys just don't like planning weddings.  It doesn't mean he's expecting it to turn out poorly, it just means they don't like the details.  DH wasn't all that helpful with wedding planning except on a few items (venue, cake, etc.) but it wasn't because he didn't want to get married, it's because as he says "he trusted my opinion a lot more than his own."

smmessinger

 So this is my take on it:

                  1. I agree with everyone if he doesn't use the site why worry?

  

                  2.While it is odd she wears her old engagement ring, it's hers so she                         can.

                  3. It seems like while you understand the reason you don't have and                         engagement ring it irks you because you want one. The ex has hers                          and you want one.

                   4.I've never heard of a man recieving an engagement ring but maybe it                     went missing because he pawned it to start saving money for yours?

                     5. My FI doesn't help with wedding stuff either. He isn't that type. He just tells me to get what I want but I think a lot of it is because he is taking over his family business and that is a lot on a person just like your fi is trying to start his own business and the economy isn't exactly the best right now.

                   Do you have friends or siblings that would  like to help? Take them instead of your mom .

cwaggoner07

This gives me tired-head.

crnflkgirl75

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_ugh-just-a-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:537936bb-57e5-49ab-957f-60b9972daa53Post:a33f2940-107c-4f64-b677-3df013a30edd">Re: Ugh. Just a rant.</a>:
[QUOTE]The e-ring is not a gift under most circumstances.  It is a symbol of a pledge to marry.  If that pledge is broken, the ring should be returned.  To wear an engagement ring from a former fiance is really tacky.  You did know she was tacky, didn't you? That being said, I own two diamonds from two of my mother's former engagement rings.  Both fiance's have passed away, and they told Mother to keep the rings. (At least that's what Mother says!)  Not every family observes etiquette.  Sigh.
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]



Slight thread jack. I would like to respectfully disagree with you on this. If he broke the engagement, she should have kept the ring. If she broke it, he should get it back. If it was a mutual decision, they should decide together if he will take it back or if she will keep it. The reason for this is because there may be unpaid wedding related deposits that the couple will lose. The person who walks away should give up the ring so it can be sold to cover these costs if necessary. When my former Fi and I split. The agreement was that I would keep the ring. Of course, we discussed the ring like adults, and we came to a consensus about it. I didn't just keep it. But I have no idea if this is correct from an etiquette perspective. I just felt it was fair.