I'm sick over this... I screwed up a money matter

Benny618

When I was younger my dad helped me set up a savings account with Chales Schwab and basically monitored it for me.  When I lived at home I would deposit a significant portion of my paycheck each month.  When I moved out and finally took interest in it, he showed me how it worked.  Between my deposits and my bat mitzvah money, I had a nice and healthy savings account. 

Living on my own and planning a wedding, I have started taking money out here and there for expenses (honeymoon, rings, etc).

Long story short, I discovered today that I was "borrowing" against stocks and have been paying $3 a day in interest for the past few months!  I also have much less $ than I thought I had. 

I'm so angry at myself for not being more responsible about this account and for not really understanding how it worked and how much money I actually had in it.  Fi and I would have made some different financial decisions had I not been wrong about this... aka not attending a destination wedding in March, a different honeymoon location, less expensive bands, etc. 

I'm sick over and have no one to blame but myself.... I'm sitting here at work trying not to cry and just needed to vent a bit bit to someone. 

I know Fi and I will figure things out and it will be ok, I just am so angry with myself for not being more responsible with this account.  I have never paid a credit card bill late before so I have never had to pay interest on anything.  I'm usually so on top of finances that I'm just sick over the fact that I f''''d this up!

GoodLuckBear14

Lesson learned.  All you can do is move on.  I would strongly recommend making an appointment with your account manager at Schwab and coming up with a game plan with him/her about how to get back on track.

Maggie0829

I agree with GLB and Stage.  We have all made mistakes before whether it be financailly or what not.  You can't keep beating yourself up over it.  Making mistakes is how we learn and grow.  Talk with your accountant at Schwab to work things out for the future.  And next time you do anything with your money in the account double check with your accountant to make sure you aren't making a similar mistake.

AJuliaNJ

I understand how upset you must be. You worked so hard for this money, and not only do you now have less than you thought you would, but a ton of it went to stupid fees!

First of all, a lot of the money went to a major life event: your wedding. These are the types of things people save money for. I think we get so used to depositing money for the future and never ever removing it that we forget that this is one of the things we were saving for. I agonized over selling some stocks to help pay for the wedding, but finally came to the conclusion that I'm not saving money just to save it, I am saving it for big life events. I will go right back to saving money and acquiring stocks, and will probably have to take money out again if we buy a new house or have to prepare for a new baby.

Second of all, sometimes we need mistakes like this to learn how to do better in the future. I guarantee you will be so much more careful going forward.

mcda04

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_im-sick-over-this-i-screwed-up-a-money-matter?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:7e345afa-f131-4a6a-813e-164d0d0fccd5Post:13cc38ec-483d-4282-b1ce-44d69b0c2f65">Re: I'm sick over this... I screwed up a money matter</a>:
[QUOTE]I understand how upset you must be. You worked so hard for this money, and not only do you now have less than you thought you would, but a ton of it went to stupid fees! First of all, a lot of the money went to a major life event: your wedding. These are the types of things people save money for. I think we get so used to depositing money for the future and never ever removing it that we forget that this is one of the things we were saving for. I agonized over selling some stocks to help pay for the wedding, but finally came to the conclusion that I'm not saving money just to save it, I am saving it for big life events. I will go right back to saving money and acquiring stocks, and will probably have to take money out again if we buy a new house or have to prepare for a new baby. Second of all, sometimes we need mistakes like this to learn how to do better in the future. I guarantee you will be so much more careful going forward.
Posted by AndreaJulia[/QUOTE]

H and I weren't comfortable taking the money for our wedding. While it is a major life event; a wedding itself is not expensive. I shouldn't have to struggle financially to throw a big party. H and I are planning on purchasing a new home within the next year; it's never crossed my mind to pull money from a retirement savings plan to pay for our home; we're just working OT since it's available to us and saving money from our paychecks. 

But I get it; to each their own.

OP, just learn from this mistake and move on. Beating yourself up for it is not going to give you the money back. I agree with Maggie; setup an appt with your account rep to go over the payment plan and how to improve it. It really sucks to go through this amount of stress during wedding planning. We all make mistakes and learn SOMETHING from them; good luck.

AJuliaNJ

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_im-sick-over-this-i-screwed-up-a-money-matter?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:7e345afa-f131-4a6a-813e-164d0d0fccd5Post:a42cd537-a361-491e-b177-78e6aa32cd14">Re: I'm sick over this... I screwed up a money matter</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'm sick over this... I screwed up a money matter : H and I weren't comfortable taking the money for our wedding. While it is a major life event; a wedding itself is not expensive. I shouldn't have to struggle financially to throw a big party. H and I are planning on purchasing a new home within the next year<strong>; it's never crossed my mind to pull money from a retirement savings plan to pay for our home;</strong> we're just working OT since it's available to us and saving money from our paychecks.  But I get it; to each their own. OP, just learn from this mistake and move on. Beating yourself up for it is not going to give you the money back. I agree with Maggie; setup an appt with your account rep to go over the payment plan and how to improve it. It really sucks to go through this amount of stress during wedding planning. We all make mistakes and learn SOMETHING from them; good luck.
Posted by mcda04[/QUOTE]

I must have missed where the OP talked about pulling it out of a retirement account. From her post, it seemed like it was just a regular stock portfolio. Yeah, I would never pull any money out of a retirement account, but I really don't think this was the case.

Benny618

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_im-sick-over-this-i-screwed-up-a-money-matter?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:7e345afa-f131-4a6a-813e-164d0d0fccd5Post:a8bdcfca-b914-43b2-9d7c-12878ce3e9f5">Re: I'm sick over this... I screwed up a money matter</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'm sick over this... I screwed up a money matter : I must have missed where the OP talked about pulling it out of a retirement account. From her post, it seemed like it was just a regular stock portfolio. Yeah, I would never pull any money out of a retirement account, but I really don't think this was the case.
Posted by AndreaJulia[/QUOTE]

Yes this was not my retirement account, I would never have touched that.  This is just a savings account that I've been growing for some time.  Since I thought I had more than I actually did, I used more of it to pay for things (some wedding related, some not) than I would have had I not screwed up.  You're right I need to learn from the mistake and move on, and I do plan to meet with our agent to get back on track properly.  I just hate the idea that I literally threw money away because I was not handling the account properly.

ciligirl

Maybe this will make you feel better

FI for years has always received huge tax refunds because of having too much taken out of his check, his refunds are usually around $10,000 to 15,000.  Last year I told him to talk to his accountant and figure out what to submit to HR because IMO, why give it to the govt. when it could be in his paycheck.  And we are good savers, I'd rather be socking that money away and having it earn interest.  And it would be extra money we could put towards wedding stuff.

Well, FI being FI lost the amount the accountant told him to have his withholding adjusted to and instead of calling the guy back he decided to figure it out himself, unbeknownst to me.

So he goes to get taxes done and we are figuring he should be close to $0 since he made the withholding adjustment.  Nope, he OWES $9000!  The accountant was like what the hell did you do.  Thankfully, we have money saved and it will not hurt us.  But I keep thinking about all the times it was like, wow, we got extra money this month, lets get sushi, or replace that old TV, or go to the Dominican for a week.  He is so mad at himself for making that crazy of a financial screw up.  I still can not fathom how he did the math to make that big of a mistake, but I am not going to harp on him.  He has beaten himself up enough.  We just decided that from now on I will handle the checkbook!  haha

mcda04

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_im-sick-over-this-i-screwed-up-a-money-matter?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:7e345afa-f131-4a6a-813e-164d0d0fccd5Post:a8bdcfca-b914-43b2-9d7c-12878ce3e9f5">Re: I'm sick over this... I screwed up a money matter</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'm sick over this... I screwed up a money matter : I must have missed where the OP talked about pulling it out of a retirement account. From her post, it seemed like it was just a regular stock portfolio. Yeah, I would never pull any money out of a retirement account, but I really don't think this was the case.
Posted by AndreaJulia[/QUOTE]
Haha. I received an email alert in my outlook about my retirement plan meetiing and typed it in my message.

I meant, I would never pull money from a "Stock Account" my H manages those and I would make a mistake like the OP's. My FIL lost a lot of money because we took money to fix his house.

Ajuliana

Don't worry so much.  Thank goodness you have a sizable account.  Some people wait until they're married, or until children or born, or NEVER start saving.  My parents always took care of me, and it got to the point that I was spending around $2500-3000 a month of my parents money.  SO unacceptable.  My FI has helped me make huge changes to my spending, and now I have doubled my personal savings and my expenses are more like $1000-1200 a month.  [Thank you no college loans, car payments, and cheap cost of living in Sacramento!]