Jeweler puts me down big time

LDHR

My gf and I have been in love for over 5 years now & we have waited till we achieved our professional goals before putting our minds to marriage.  

While taking a stroll, we popped into a Zales just to browse.  I asked my gf about her favorite shapes, styles etc.  While my gf is serious about me and we have intentions of getting married, she is very playful and often shies away from planning - litterally giggling herself out of conversations about the future.

A middle-aged female jeweler was showing us some pieces when my gf continued down the counter until she ended up on the other side of the store.  

***The jeweler then looked me in the eyes and said, "she's clearly is not interested in you." *** and promptly started putting the diamonds/rings away.

Talk about a kick in the gut!  What do you guys think about this?

Avion22

Uh, I think that you shouldn't worry about what random strangers think about your relationship.  She had been around you for all of, what, five minutes?   Her opinion doesn't matter.

MoonlightSilver

I think you should choose to buy your jewelry at another location or another store if you do not like that employee. Her job is to sell jewelry, not judge relationships, and obviously she's not very good at her job. 

mrsbiss2be

Personally, I would have $itch slapped her and walked away. I keed I keed.

But seriously, who cares what she thinks. She's probably so miserable with her own pathetic life she has to try to ruin others. Just don't shop there. I wouldn't want to give money let alone commission to a person like that.

J&K10910

I think the jeweler is right.  Don't waste your money.

HobokensFury

While I do agree that the jewler was very rude I also wonder if there is some truth to it based on your gf's actions. I don't think marriage is something to laugh at.

divinemsbee

I can see where your GF is coming from, actually, because I've seen it happen. You're not engaged yet, and, assumptively to most people, the guy does the asking. She doesn't want to be all BSC and pressure you into making a purchase, so she demurs, just by being joke-y/serious. Maybe she's worried that if she got really serious about a ring in a store you guys just "popped into" (it doesn't seem like you guys had decided to go ring shopping, just that you were in the shopping center and decided to look around) that you would feel really put on the spot about it. And she didn't want that. You say that you guys are serious about your future together, so maybe start a conversation with her about your future so that she knows that for her to look at rings doesn't freak you out. 

I know that up until my FI and I were seriously looking at rings, I would shy away from the diamonds in any jewelry stores. I knew we were serious, and I knew we were going to get married, and I'd express little preferences, but I wasn't going to get up close and personal with rings until I knew he was ready to look. It's sort of the opposite of the posts you see of girls asking if they can buy their wedding dress before they get engaged or want to issue ultimatums. She doesn't want to pressure you, and you need to let her know that it's not. 

Also, that saleslady was waaaaay out of line. 

RebeccaB88

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_jeweler-puts-me-down-big-time?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a58638bf-6253-45d4-8f15-3e6dd0b6e611Post:38b7cbdf-7e44-4fe2-a0bf-de64ffd72e21">Re: Jeweler puts me down big time</a>:
[QUOTE]While I do agree that the jewler was very rude I also wonder if there is some truth to it based on your gf's actions. I don't think marriage is something to laugh at.
Posted by HobokenBride2012[/QUOTE]

I have to agree with this.  Your GF doesn't sound like she's interested in talking about marriage at all, at least not with you. I would drop the subject and start thinking about whether you want to wait it out awhile longer and see if she opens up to the subject, or if you want to cut your losses and move on.

If you attempt to bring up a serious conversation on the subject and she simply cannot have it (or chooses not to), then you have your answer.  She's just not that into you.

I suppose there's a small chance that she's the type of girl who wants to be totally 100% surprised by the proposal and everything surrounding it, but in this day and age, I can't see that really happening.  Responsible adults should be able to discuss this beforehand and come to a mutual agreement on what they both want before moving forward.  If she cannot do this, then she's not ready to be married.

LDHR

Thanks for all the support guys!

divinemsbee

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_jeweler-puts-me-down-big-time?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:a58638bf-6253-45d4-8f15-3e6dd0b6e611Post:173bc6a5-e676-427b-8062-674870d4b090">Jeweler puts me down big time</a>:
[QUOTE]My gf and I have been in love for over 5 years now & we have waited till we achieved our professional goals before putting our minds to marriage.   While taking a stroll, we popped into a Zales just to browse.  I asked my gf about her favorite shapes, styles etc.  <strong>While my gf is serious about me and we have intentions of getting married, she is very playful and often shies away from planning - litterally giggling herself out of conversations about the future.</strong> A middle-aged female jeweler was showing us some pieces when my gf continued down the counter until she ended up on the other side of the store.   ***The jeweler then looked me in the eyes and said, "she's clearly is not interested in you." *** and promptly started putting the diamonds/rings away. Talk about a kick in the gut!  What do you guys think about this?
Posted by LDHR[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>About planning your future or about planning your wedding? I guess I saw it as more, she giggles and shies away from discussing things like rings and dates, but, from the first part of that sentence it seems as though you guys have discussed marriage in the abstract, but with no set timeline and you see yourselves together. </div><div>
</div><div>If it's the wedding, then, yes, according to almost everyone here, she should be shying away from that. Even if she has ideas or a Pinterest board she's created to throw things around, she probably doesn't want to discuss concrete planning or a wedding until you guys are actually engaged. </div><div>
</div><div>If it's about planning a future, I can see that being an issue, but you guys just need to talk. As I said, I tried to be pretty level-headed, even after FI and I moved in together and I knew we were going to get engaged so I didn't make myself nuts wondering when we might do it. I definitely wouldn't have just gone into a Zales with him and immediately started trying on engagement rings if their had been no prior discussion of purchasing a ring (not of getting engaged someday, but of actually buying something). And it would have weirded me out a bit to just start doing it. </div><div>
</div><div>For the record, I wasn't in any way surprised by my engagement, we did discuss it, and we bought my ring together. But, I didn't want to push him into it. We discussed everything and then we got the ring. Maybe she does want to be surprised. Not by the fact that you want to get married, but by the ring itself. </div>

LDHR

you've got it & aso, that's very encouraging to know