Strange?

Kdancy0805

My MOH hosted a bridal shower for me and my family and all my closest friends. Of course my FMIL was invited. She showed up with a Victoria Secret box to a NON lingerie shower. On the top a card was address to my fiance "from me", inside the bog was some lovely lingerie. I was really embarressed. Is that strange or am I a prude? Come to find out his brother actually went with this mom to pick it out. So not only did his Mom buy me lingerie his brother who lives with us picked it out. eeek

Maggie0829

Just because it isn't a "lingerie shower" doesn't mean that she still can't buy you lingerie.  A bridal shower is a time to shower the bride with gifts but no where does it say that those gifts have to be household items.

But, I would be embarrassed if I got lingerie from anyone so it wouldn't matter what type of event it was or who gave it to me.  Also, having your FI brother help pick it out is just weird.

Just push this event into the "Crazy things my ILs do" folder and in a few years (or even a few days) you and maybe your H can laugh about it.

HobokensFury

We don't do lingerie showers here. In my family it's tradition for the bride's mother to buy wedding night lingerie so I don't find this odd at all. It's a little embarrassing but you'll survive.

jennylee813

It's weird, but it's what they do sometimes.

My ex MIL decided that she wanted to throw me a lingerie shower (because her sister had done the same thing for her new DIL). So she made a big show of pretending to have a meeting so when I came in I wouldn't know. They all yelled surprise - a dozen or so women in their 50s, none of my friends or family. Then she gave me CHEAP lingerie - something she got at the bargain department store nearby.

I still cringe.

At least you got the good stuff!

beardo1111

Awkward?  For sure.  But sounds like it was all in good fun, and it's nice that FMIL went out of her way to do something like that for you - even if it was a tad weird.  Just laugh about it with your fiancee and move on.

jennylee813

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_strange-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:b4b9ec5b-39cd-44e6-9cdc-97b77d4130e4Post:7d6b1e49-cab0-431e-a3c1-c0a37481d93f">Re:Strange?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Strange?: Snob much? Awkwardness of lingerie as a Gift aside, it's pretty much never okay to b!tch about someone not spending enough on your gift.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

Not at all. I wasn't bitching about what she did or didn't spend, I was just saying that she threw this shower only because her sister had just done one for her DIL, and she doesn't like to be outdone.

I didn't want her to throw a shower at all, especially since I'd already had one, and she re-invited the same women. If she wanted to have us all over that would have been fine, she didn't have to add lingerie (cheap or expensive) as an excuse.

Please don't take it as snobbery. It's not how it was meant. The whole afternoon was awkward and not something that I'm particularly fond of remembering. I was just sharing so OP would know that she wasn't alone in finding it weird to get lingerie from family.

jennylee813

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_strange-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:b4b9ec5b-39cd-44e6-9cdc-97b77d4130e4Post:c549cef5-ff96-4565-8270-baf4118e304f">Re:Strange?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Strange?: So that was why you mentioned that it was CHEAP lingerie in all caps and said "at least you got the good stuff"? Because it didn't matter if it was cheap or expensive and you didn't have any opinion on how much she spent? Yeah, okay. When you publicly complain about a gift to you being cheap, you are, by definition, a snob. Sorry, but that's life. If the quality and pricetag of the gift don't matter to you, I would suggest not pointing it out and making snarky comments about it in the future. It might lead simpletons like myself to "take it" wrong.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]


Okay then, you know what? I must be a snob. Because on that awful day, I smiled through my embarrassment over her inviting people to <strong>two </strong>showers for me, I thanked her for the gift, and never mentioned it to anyone until now. My mistake, and I certainly won't bring it up again.

She treated me like the dirt you scrape off the bottom of your shoe the entire time I was married to her son and I smiled and took it, even when he didn't bother to stand up for me. I guess that makes me a snob too.

I already apologized for the way the remark sounded. And I'm sorry if I prefer Victoria's Secret. I won't bring that up again either.

OwningAHome1981

Lingerie is actually very common at showers. You may not like it but most showers I've been to the bride-to-be got it as a gift and 2 showers I was BM in, we did a panty line for the bride. You don't ahve to like it, but regardless, a gift is a gift and you need to be appreciative and of course, send a timely and proper thank you card. If you want to return it, that's fine, but I think it's a sweet gesture from your FMIL.