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Hi! Pissed at FI... details on page!

Hi!  I mostly lurk on this board, but am active on my month board.  Hoping I can get some advice.  Nice to meet you all!
My day sucked!  
Ok, so I used to work with FI, but the company got bought out and he moved to the new office and took a job with the new company and I took a job elsewhere.  Well, I hate my job and today was a bad day there.  Then, my old coworker/friend sent me the announcement for the new hires there (former coworkers I used to work with) because she keeps me in the loop with everything.  Well, everyone of them wrote a bio about themselves to be announced by email to the company.  Everyone wrote about their employment history, hobbies and significant other...Except my FI.  He worte about employment and that he likes to spend time with his kids, at Taco Bell, and in Vegas.  That's it.  Nothing about me.  I wouldn;t be so upset, but he is the only one that didn't mention his significant other.  I feel very hurt and embarrased.  Then, I came home to an ant infestation in the kitchen!!  UGH!  I killed them and cleaned it up, but I thought about leaving it, leaving the house and writing a note saying "You have an ant problem, I would have taken care of it, but apparantly I don't exist"  I DO have major PMS right now which is making it worse, but am I right or wrong to be hurt by this?  I am not only hurt, I am very mad.  Am I over-reacting?  I talked to him about it and he said he was so busy he wrote his bio in a minute and didn;t give any thought to it.  That made me more mad because he thought of crappy fast food and gambling before he thought of me!  UGH!  Advise ladies?
Sorry about the rambling and bitching!  I just don't know if I am way over-reacting or if my anger is valid.  :)
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Re: Hi! Pissed at FI... details on page!

  • I don't think you're overreacting at all! I don't see why gross, unhealthy, fast food should EVER be more important than a loved one! I would talk to him about how you feel and maybe keep it in mind for a "teachable moment" later, but do try to let it go!
  • Thanks :)  I don't want to be this mad but I am just livid.  I will talk to him more so he knows how hurtful it was.  I am not feeling his "I'm sorry, I wrote it really fast and wasn't putting any thought into it" line right now.  The worst part is that I wrote a bio for my new job and included him and his kiddos in it!  And we work in the same industry and the email announcing him got sent to my company where just 2 months ago, I wrote about him and now everyone gets to see that he didn't even think of me when he wrote his!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    110 Invited! image | 65 Have their dancing shoes ready! image | 35 Don't wanna dance. image | 10 Must still be looking for their dancing shoes! image
    RSVP Deadline: February 28th
  • Honestly, I think you're overreacting. I obviously don't know your FI, but I know mine, and that is definitely something he would do. I get that your feelings are hurt, and I think calmly mentioning how it made you feel is fine. It sounds like you did that already, so I would let it go. The ant infestation sucks. Sorry about that!
  • Seriously, I would be pissed too. You should be someone he should automatically think of, along with his kids.  Right at the top of the list. 
  • Right?  Thanks!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    110 Invited! image | 65 Have their dancing shoes ready! image | 35 Don't wanna dance. image | 10 Must still be looking for their dancing shoes! image
    RSVP Deadline: February 28th
  • I can see where you are coming from, but I do think you are overreacting. I think having to write something quickly might be a reason he just jotted random things down. I don't think it means he never thinks of you, but maybe he was trying to think of something funny or quirky (like "I like Taco Bell.") I doubt that he personally meant it as a slight to you. Either way, I think calming down and talking about it with him, letting him know why it hurt your feelings is a good idea.


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  • I get being a little upset, but unless this is part of a larger pattern of him never recognizing you/thinking of you/etc. (in which case, I would have different advice) you really only have two options as far as what you can actually do in response to his explanation:

    1.  Take him at his word.  The bio was a hastily-drawn-up afterthought, and doesn't really mean much of anything.  Leaving you out was kind of a boneheaded oversight, but not a reflection on your relationship.  React accordingly and let it go.

    2.  Don't take him at his word.  Assume the bio is really a secret code by which he's telling you that he cares about Taco Bell and Vegas more than you, and that he crafted it specifically to tip you off to the fact that you "apparently don't exist" and/or to ensure that he would be able to find a sidepiece at his new job without her knowing you exist.  React accordingly and turn it into an epic fight about how he doesn't love you enough.

    I'll leave you to figure out which option would be healthier for your relationship.
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  • yeah, I guess it was hastily drawn up and I should let it go. 
    Also, he is in management, but so are the other guys that wrote about their girlfriend/fiancee/wive.  He works for a company that buys and I work for a company that sells to them and other companies.
    I am just hurt because I feel that he should have thought of me almost automatically as the other guys thought of their girls automatically.
    Yes, he was trying to be funny with the "Taco Bell" thing, but it just sucks to be left out especially since I know so many of the people there and those people know we are enagaged and he didn't mention it.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    110 Invited! image | 65 Have their dancing shoes ready! image | 35 Don't wanna dance. image | 10 Must still be looking for their dancing shoes! image
    RSVP Deadline: February 28th
  • I would be a bit annoyed and def bring it up, but I wouldn't be so upset. Like PP's have said, he had to write it very quickly and there's a good chance he didn't want to make it too personal since it was going out on mass email. If it was the other way around, how much detail would you have given about your relationship with him?

    Also, some guys tend to be more focused on less "emotional" things (i.e. taco bell) and perhaps saying something about his SO would be too "mushy" for him, especially for a mass email.

    I'd be annoyed, but then get over it.
  • Guys honestly don't think the same way we do. I'm more like your FI and I would definately forget to put something about my man in a short bio that I wrote because I just don't think about it. I think as you get married and time goes on that changes.
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  • Thanks so much everyone.  I agree now that I was over-reacting, but it was not cool and he knows that now.  Today is a new day :)  Have a great Saturday!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    110 Invited! image | 65 Have their dancing shoes ready! image | 35 Don't wanna dance. image | 10 Must still be looking for their dancing shoes! image
    RSVP Deadline: February 28th
  • it sounds to me you're a little insecure. it shouldn't matter if you know he loves you.
  • Is your FI a private person? I've gotten aggravated in the past at my SO for doing similar things (usually on FB) and his reasoning has always been that he doesn't want people he's not that close with to know all about his private life. While I don't totally understand his way of thinking (I'm the type who'd climb to the roof of a building to shout out that I'm finally engaged! lol), I can see why he'd want to keep certain things to himself. Maybe your FI was thinking along the same lines when writing his bio?
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