Maid of Honor

ekellyriordan

I need help sorting through who I should ask to be my maid of honor - or even if I should have a maid of honor!

I have 5 bridesmaids: 2 are my sisters, 1 is his sister and 2 are my friends.  I've known both of my girl friends for 10 years.  I get along well with both, but one of them is on the same page as me - likes the same things, wants the same things, does the same things.  I had thought about asking her to be my maid of honor, but my mom pulled me aside and said that it is smarter to choose a sibling as they will still be there in another 10 years whereas I don't know if my girlfriend will still be my girlfriend in 2020.  She suggested I choose one of my sisters to stand for me.  And I don't mind that route, but neither sister is particularly close to me - in fact I just started spending more time with one of them since I started wedding planning.  Prior to that we spoke only at family get togethers.  It's not that I don't like them, but that I don't know them well.

Add to that the fact that I think my girlfriend might kill me if she has to give a speech....

As you can see my mind is a mess.  I've been engaged for a year already and I have 6 months until the big day.  I need to start making a decision here!

Advice?

starryskies407

MOHs dont have to give a speech if they dont want to.

Kristin&eric

I would chose your friend you seem like you want her to be your MOH.  The first time I got engagd i had two of my sisters as BM and a friend I was close to as my MOH. Well 3 years later i am engaged again, to a different man and I have my sis as my MOH bc we are much closer and my best friend as a BM none of my original friends the first time around are in it this time bc I am not as close to them. But Things change, who knows, me and my BF have been friends for 6 years I have known her longer and really she would have been my MOH if she didnt live in cali when I live in FL. But she is still a big part of my life and she knows it...sorry i guess i just started talking

mboja1fv

I chose my sister personally because I feel like a wedding is more a celebration of family than friendship. Also, I know that I will have a lasting relationship with my sister.

In your case- who do you see being a forever friend/sister?

And you never know...your friend may want to give a speech once it gets closer, you never know. And if not, you could ask any of the other girls if they would like to as the time approaches.

MISSCOURTNEY20

I would ask my friend. Sisters are given, friends are chosen. Are either of your sisters married? You can have your friend as the maid and your sister as the matron. That is what I am doing.

melissamc2

I can't imagine worrying about if I'll be friends with my MoH 10 years from now.  That's not saying that I'm just "sure" we will be, because who knows what ten years can bring - it's just because it doesn't matter to me as far as having her as my MoH now is concerned!

Picking one sister over another - yeah, that'd go smoothly, I'm sure!

Choose who you think you'd have the most fun talking about it all with, planning with, and just enjoying the entire event with.  It's not supposed to be pressure.

Minimax052910

This is very difficult. I know what you're going through, because I went through similar situation. I have one sister, but she and I had our rifts for a while until about a month prior to my engagement. She and I didn't get super close, but we got along.

I have a best friend who I'm super close to. We've done everything together since we were in diapers. She got engaged two weeks before I got engaged and asked me to be her MOH. She doesn't have a sister.

My sister and I had our rifts for couple years, but then a month prior to my engagement, I got along with her just fine. I thought long and hard about this. I knew that my best friend would be hurt and probably was expecting me to ask her to be my MOH, but then I knew that my sister would be even more hurt, simply because I'm her only sister. I knew that my best friend would get over it, because it's almost a "given" to have a sister to be MOH. I wanted to give my sister and mine relationship a chance. 

When I asked my sister to be my MOH she was truly touched and surprised, because she knew how close I was to my best friend. Our relationship continued to get stronger instead of being on a standstill if I didn't pick her as a MOH. My best friend, she was totally cool about it and was actually happy that I picked my sister, because she knew that she's family and that it doesn't change our friendship because it's not about favorites.

So now I'm talking about "favorites". You have several friends as your bridesmaids, it's probably easier for you to go with your sister, so none of your friends would take it personal when you choose one of them to be "at the top". 

Hope this helps. Good luck with your decisions...it's not fun making decisions like this!

aggiebug

1) You don't have to have a MOH,
2) you could have 2 MOHs if that would make the decision easier
3) no toasts are required we are asking or BM and MOH to drop the toasts at the wedding, if they want they can do one at the RD but not at the reception.

oh and the whole friends in 10 years thing boggles my mind!  Not everone stays friends with family its not a requirement, and choosing one sister over another just sounds like a disaster in the making.  That seems like an easier way to hurt a sister feelings.

Audrey&Austin

As PP's have said, go with the person you feel closest to now. It doesn't matter how things might turn out in ten years, this is something that is happening now (well, in six months). Nobody is really required to give a toast, but you could always ask your sister to give a toast if you wanted to give her something special. And if you were to pick your sister to be your MOH, which one? If you pick one sister and not the other, one sister is going to feel hurt and it'll cause much unneeded drama. If you really have no idea, you don't have to have a MOH, but it sounds like you really want your friend to have the honor.

aerinpegadrak

Have you already asked all of these girls to be bridesmaids?  At this point, if you haven't appointed a MOH, I wouldn't.  You can divvy up her ceremonial duties (holding the bouquet, straightening the train, signing the license, giving a toast if she chooses) among all of the girls.