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What are your thoughts?

What are your thoughts about getting married while you are in college? I am returning to school at the age of 24, anticipating that my boyfriend of 4 1/2 years will pop the question this year....I would only wanna be engaged for about a year...but I know I will still be in school. Thoughts???? Advice???
Melissa

Re: What are your thoughts?

  • I got engaged while I was in college, but we specifically set the date so that the bulk of the planning would happen post-graduation.  It was an unspeakable relief to be able to completely set aside the planning and just focus on schoolwork.  Yeah, the long engagement wasn't ideal, but trying to juggle both would have gotten in the way of finishing my education.

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  • If you're almost done with your degree plan, I don't see the problem. However, if you just started college classes and are 1st year student, it might just be a little harder to plan a wedding, as in time-consuming, more stressful and financially tight. Since you're returning to college, I'm assuming you don't have much left to go. Hang in there!

    Just because you're in school doesn't mean you can't get married or have a child. It's a little harder but can be done !
  • I am returning as a Junior to finish a degree in Elementry Education. So I would have about 2 years left. Im just ready for my turn, ya know?

    Melissa
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:f44f05a5-c5fb-4b1a-a669-c88ecb556a14Post:11b6d8ec-61ea-4afc-b29a-4eec3ad5ae09">Re: What are your thoughts?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am returning as a Junior to finish a degree in Elementry Education. So I would have about 2 years left. Im just ready for my turn, ya know?
    Posted by Melz23[/QUOTE]

    What would happen if you had to wait though? Suppose your BF doesn't propose as soon as you'd like and you were 26 by the time you could get married... what would happen?
  • My FH is in school for the third time, and he popped the question almost a year ago.  Knowing he was going to do that, he actually decided to take some of his classes over the summer, all in all it will have shortened his time in school by a full year.  Our wedding is planned for 6 months after he's graduated so it's been a long engagement, 2 years and 2 months long by the time we get married.

    While waiting for him to finish school again is right for us, it might not be what is right for you and your boyfriend.  Don't let it eat at you too much though, wait until he pops the question, then the two of you can discuss it.
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  • goodness gracious, lets hope he dosent wait that long to pop the good ole question! haha. But I see your point. Smile
    Melissa
  • Just because you think your BF will pop the question doesn't mean he will when you want him to. Men do things on their individual, unique timeline. So don't set yourself up for a proposal and then be disappointed.

    I am entering my junior year of college this fall and will be getting into the thick of my major. I couldn't even fathom wedding planning while trying to finish my degree. BF is also in school and it just seems impossible. If we were to get engaged in the near future, I'd have at least a three year engagement, which just seems silly.

    My advice is to tackle one stressful thing at a time. School first, then secure a job, then wedding planning. You're only 24. You have plenty of time.
  • Entering your junior year as an ed. major means you're facing junior practicum and then student teaching.  Both a very, very demanding, and will require more work than I think you can imagine at the moment.

    I'd wait until finished with student teaching until you start wedding anything, if it were my decision.

    GL
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  • My sister got married between her sophomore and junior years in undergrad. It was hard, but they made it because my BIL was out of school and working. She finished her PhD a few years ago and got a job and he went abck to school. Now they are both working. It can happen.

    I think the reason most people say not to get married when you are in school is that they are assuming you are 18-22 and have not lived on your own or had time to grow up first, because people change so much in those years. . If you have been on your own for a while and are going back to school, just make sure you can handle the schoolwork, a job, and your relationship before making it permanent.
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  • I agree with SarahPLiz. This question is really an individual one. Considering you aren't engaged yet, I would wait on that and then discuss all of your options with FI. I do agree with living on your own for a while first and getting on your feet. But what works for some might not work or need to happen for you guys. You need to assess the situation when the time comes. Also, do you have a lot of supportive parents to help with the wedding? Even though by no means is it their entire responsibility, but sometimes having people there for you helps the stress a bit
  • Focus on your college studies and when the time is right, this is something you can not control, your bf will pop the question. 

    If he did pop the question, then discuss it with your bf. 

    "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart." ~ Miss K ~
  • edited June 2010
    I think the whole idea about having to wait until you're out of school to get married is silly. You're not deciding to get married because you finished your education. You're getting married because you want to celebrate your love and commitment to each other. Sure, going to school fulltime is hard, but what's wrong with having the man you love be with you every step of the way as your husband? You might not have much time for a lot of wedding planning while in school, so that might be an issue, but you're going to be with him anyway, so why is it a "good idea" to wait?
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  • How long are you willing to wait for him to propose?

  • We got engaged while I was in school almost 2 years ago and decided i would take the semester off before the wedding and just concentrate on that and have been since. Its been a lot less stress on me
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  • I also think there's a difference if you are going to undergrad straight out of highschool vs. going back to school.

    It has more to do with maturity than anything.
  • I say go for it! My fiance and I have three years left of school, his to complete his Dr. and me for nursing. There's a way to do it no matter what your situation :).
  • Having an engagement longer than a year isn't horrible.  FI will have been engaged just over 2 years by the time we're married.  We're waiting until he finishes med school b/c of scheduling issues.

    I see nothing wrong with being married in college.  As far as planning for it, if you got married at the end of next summer (ie Aug 2011), you shouldn't have too much of a problem.  Get what you can done during the school year, and you'd still have a couple of summer months to finish up.
  • If you want to get married first thing after graduation, you still have to do the bulk of your planning while in school.  But if you want to have like a year between graduation and wedding (which results in a long engagement), there is nothing wrong with that.  You will have so much time to really go through your options and look into vendors in detail and not feel pressured and overwhelmed.  School alone is overwhelming and stressful, and wedding planning does not make it easier.  So don't rush, long engagement is fine.  But if you really want to get married ASAP, perhaps look into getting a wedding planner (more money, but saves your sanity), or make a good wedding notebook/organizer.  Best of luck to you! :)

  • I'm already graduated, but my fiance is still in school for another semester. We're getting married this month, and I'm so excited, but it would have been nice to wait until he graduated.

    Planning hasn't been a problem, it's more that I wish we had 2 incomes before we got married. Money is getting a little tight with the new house we're renting and the wedding plans. We'll be fine, but I wish I could have the wedding without financial stress.
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  • So here is my background. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 1/2 years, we just bought a house in October, he is 3 years older than me, has already graduated and has a full time job. My parents would be pretty supportive and willing to pay for the majoriting of things, my aunt is a wedding planner and she has always told me that my gift from her would be a "free" wedding planner. That pretty much rocks my socks! haha. I just know once I do get engaged I am not gunna wanna wait, I will be too excited and want to start planning things right away....BUT getting my college degree is what is most important....and does need to come first.
    Melissa
  • Sounds like ya'll are in a pretty good place!!! How long until you graduate?

    If you're going to graduate in a year or so, my suggestion would be to plan the wedding for 6 months or so AFTER you graduate. That way you could get started on planning right away, but the hardest part of the planning process would come once you've already graduated.

    If you'll have to wait longer than a year to graduate, go ahead and do it while you're in school! Nothing wrong with that :)
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  • I will most likely still be in school when I get married. It has taken me longer than most people to get through college because of illnesses and work, never really going to school full time. I just graduated with my second A.S. in Early Childhood Education and am hoping to find work at a preschool, so we will be better off financially by the time we get married (my current job sucks.) But I would like to go further education-wise. My first Associate Degree is in English, and I would love to go on and get my Bachelors and eventually Masters in that subject. It might take me until I'm 50, but I'm fine with that.
    Also, my brother and sister-in-law got married after graduating from community college, right before transfering to an out of state college. Two days after marrying they packed up and moved to Fairbanks, Alaska, where my brother is working towards his Masters in Mathematics. He teaches at the college while going to school. Their honeymoon was their trip up to Alaska. Kinda sucked for us having them move so far away right after the wedding, but they're doing extremely well.

    It's hard balancing work, school, and a relationship/marriage, but it can be done. :)
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    "And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." --The Beatles
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