(This will be a post and run b/c I'm going to bed, but need to get this out): My FI informed me today that he received two emails from two of his groomsmen who have officially backed out of the wedding.
Backstory: FI chose his 4 closest friends as the BM and GM. Two of the GM are brothers (GM 1 and GM 2) and they are FI's cousins, as well as cousins to the best man (it's a big family). Anyway, soon after setting our date, GM 3 informs FI that his wife is expecting and they're due a week before our wedding. Awesome! We're very excited for them. He says he can't make it to the wedding though - totally understandable, no hard feelings at all, but still it's a bummer.
A couple months after we set our date, GM 1 realizes that his doctorial graduation is the same day as our wedding (and it's OOT). The BM, GM 2, and one usher (who is also related to this same family) are all making plans to be at the graduation! We debated changing the date and could have done so at that time, but GM 1 assured FI that he will do whatever it takes to fly here and be at the wedding b/c he's really more interested in his "pinning" ceremony which is the day before our wedding. So naturally, if he's only going to the pinning ceremony on Friday, not the main event on Saturday, then it shouldn't be a problem for the BM, GM 2, and usher to attend the pinning and also make it to the wedding.
So we decided to push forward with our plans and keep the date. In the meantime, we've booked most of our vendors and my family and BMs (which are all OOT) have already taken the time off work and made travel plans. So that brings us to the present - after all this, GM 1 and GM 2 both email FI today officially saying that they have to step down as GM b/c they can't make it to the wedding afterall. GM 1 says it's b/c he wants to walk at the main event on Saturday afterall and he's moving the following week. GM 2 says it's financial reasons (and he's also going to the graduation). The usher hasn't been in touch with FI actually, but we know from GM 1 that the usher has already made plans to be at the graduation.
FI and I are both upset, but there's nothing we can do. We totally understand that it's a big deal for GM 1 to graduate with a doctorate and we support this 100%. We'd even go ourselves if we weren't getting married, but why did he wait until NOW to make this decision, especially after telling us that he would do whatever it takes to be here!? We could have changed the date earlier on, but now it's too late (GM 1 even told us NOT to change our date earlier on b/c he would be here for us). And we've already lost GM 3 due to the pregnancy, now we're losing GM 1, GM 2, and an usher.
FI is very worried that the BM will bail on him too b/c he was also planning on being at the pinning ceremony. The BM is the only one left! It's just so frustrating b/c this could all have been avoided if GM 1 had made up his mind earlier in the game. But . . . there's nothing we can do now except vent and move on with our plans.
Thanks for letting me vent.