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Attire and Accessories

STRAIGHT WEDDING WITH A LESBIAN AS THE BEST WOMAN

HELLO EVERYONE I NEED HELP IM HAVING A WEDDING IN MY FAMILY CHURCH MY FIANCE ASKED MY GAY COUSIN THAT IS A FEMALE TO BE HIS BEST WOMAN BUT THE PROBLEM IS THAT SHE DOESNT WEAR NO DRESSES AT ALL. I FEEL A LITTLE WEIRD TO EVEN ASK HER TO WEAR ONE BECAUSE SHE DIDNT EVEN WEAR A DRESS FOR HER PROM IM LOOKING FOR HELP AS TO FIND THE RIGHT ATTIRE FOR HER THAT DOESNT MAKE HER LOOK LIKE A MAN BUT SOMETHING THAT DOESNT MAKE HER LOOK TO WOMANLY EITHER 

Re: STRAIGHT WEDDING WITH A LESBIAN AS THE BEST WOMAN

  • Why don't you ask her what she would like to wear?
  • STOP SHOUTING AT ME!

    Ask her what she would like to wear. If she wants to wear a pant suit, let her. Everyone will be looking at you and your FI anyway.
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    Anniversary
  • I had a friend who bought a long BM dress that matched the others in color (who was straight, by the way, so I'm not sure why your cousin being a lesbian is an important detail to tell us but okay...) and they chopped off the bottom and had a flowy top made that she wore with black pants. Or just ask her what she would be comfortable, this is a non-issue. 

  • Shouldn't your FI and she be discussing this?
  • Wait... how does it matter if she looks like a man or if she looks too womanly???

  • Kind of the same situation with our wedding. My FI's sis is a lesbian and does not like to wear dresses. However, she does not dress like a man either. We're going to go with a nice blouse in our theme color and slacks that match the men's tuxes. I think it will looks nice and classy. But it really depends on the lesbian herself, which may have different tastes. So your best bet would just be to ask her what she would be comfortable wearing.
    "Love is like a butterfly; It goes where it pleases and pleases where it goes" David & Roxy March 2, 2013 Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Maybe we don't refer to her as "the lesbian."
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  • OMG. How does her being a lesbian have ANYTHING to do with what she wants to wear? 

    ***************Education moment************
    Sexual orientation is who you are attracted to. Who you want to have sex with. 

    Gender identity is how you like to present yourself to the world. Whether you feel you want to project yourself farther toward a 'traditional feminine' part of the spectrum through 'full on male presentation'. 
    **************************************************

    'The lesbian' may be a 'lipstick lesbian' and wear the most femme clothes/presentation in the world. She may be more a 'butch lesbian' and present closer to masculine expectations. All of these are generalizations and some people don't even like that slang (but I used it because you've probably heard those terms before)

    I consider myself a straight woman who is pretty gender queer (or 'butch'). I hardly wear dresses, I carry a multi-tool, I like to build things and get dirty, I don't wear make-up or 'do' my hair, etc. 

    ASK her what she wants to wear. TALK to her about how she feels. and please stop calling her 'the lesbian'.
  • VireydaVireyda
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments Combo Breaker 5 Love Its
    member
    edited November 2012

    You're FI's cousin being Gay doesn't matter at all and there was no reason for you to mention it.

    My FI's best friend is his Best Woman (and not that it matters one way or another, she's straight).  It's not a big deal.  We asked her if she wanted to wear a LBD (like my BMs) or a suit like the other GMs.  She chose a suit.  The only reason it matters to me at all what she's choosing to wear was so I'd know if I have to make her a bouquet or a boutonniere and order an extra tie.  Like PP have said, just ask her.

    Don't make a mountain out a molehill.

  • Lisa50Lisa50
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker 5 Love Its
    member
    edited November 2012
    In Response to Re: STRAIGHT WEDDING WITH A LESBIAN AS THE BEST WOMAN:
    OMG. How does her being a lesbian have ANYTHING to do with what she wants to wear?  ***************Education moment************ Sexual orientation is who you are attracted to. Who you want to have sex with.  Gender identity is how you like to present yourself to the world. Whether you feel you want to project yourself farther toward a 'traditional feminine' part of the spectrum through 'full on male presentation'.  ************************************************** 'The lesbian' may be a 'lipstick lesbian' and wear the most femme clothes/presentation in the world. She may be more a 'butch lesbian' and present closer to masculine expectations. All of these are generalizations and some people don't even like that slang (but I used it because you've probably heard those terms before) I consider myself a straight woman who is pretty gender queer (or 'butch'). I hardly wear dresses, I carry a multi-tool, I like to build things and get dirty, I don't wear make-up or 'do' my hair, etc.  ASK her what she wants to wear. TALK to her about how she feels. and please stop calling her 'the lesbian'.
    Posted by anssett
    We need a "like" button!
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