Wedding party shoes

yellohbird

I wanted to have my wedding party wear the Tom's bridal collection. However since these are a bit more expensive than standard flats that they probably would have picked out themselves I feel bad asking them to buy these. Would I be wrong in doing that? My FMIL seems irritated that she has had to buy her daughter (MOH) the dress which was very reasonably priced btw and has to pay for her hair and make up which again is a very reasonable price. I am not sure why my MOH isn't helping pay for these things but that is a seperate issue. FI and I are paying for the wedding and just can't afford to pay for these things for her on top of everything else. I'm not sure how to bring up this situation to my MOH and FMIL. Any ideas?.

StephBeanWed61502

Yes, you're wrong to force them to buy anything other than the dress.  Also, Tom's are, let's say, an acquired taste - it's not something everyone necessarily wants to own or will use again.  If you force your bridesmaids to wear a certain shoe, or necklace, or hairstyle, or whatever, it's on you to pay for it for them.  If you can't afford it, they don't wear Toms.  The end.

HobokensFury

If you're requiting your bridesmaids to wear certain shoes, get their hair/makeup done or wear specific jewelry then you need to pay for it.  I personally would not spend a dime on Tom's and if the bride required them then that's just too bad she'd just have to deal with it.

ElisabethJoanne

Yup. I agree with PPs. $50+ for a pair of shoes I can never wear again? Nope.

Soon2bMrsD5860

I agree with PP.  I love Toms and wear mine all the time.  But the bridal line I would not be able to wear more than once.  For that reason I certainly would not spend that much money on a pair of shoes to wear once.  If they are that important to you then you will have to put up the money for the shoes, otherwise your girls need to wear what they want.

volleygurl0306

Agree with PP.  Also if I am understanding you right, you said she has to get her hair and makeup done.  Even if it is reasonably priced, you need to pay for it. 

DramaGeek

Ditto everyone else.  Also remember that everyone's idea of "reasonably priced" is different.  What may be reasonably priced to you may seem like a fortune to her.

yellohbird

I have never been in a wedding where I did not pay for my own hair and make up. I was always allowed to choose the style for my hair but always had to foot the bill. I didn't realize this was not what normally happens. Others I have talked to have also said they always had to pay to get their hair and make up done for weddings also and never had the bride pay for it. The lady I am using is cheaper than any salon she would go to so I figured I would have her do my MOH's hair and make up since she wants it done and I would like for it to be done as well. I don't know if it is different where I am from but I have never met anyone who had the bride pay for their hair and make up. As for the shoes, I can see what you are all saying. I guess I will be buying her Toms because it is something FI and I definitely want our wedding party to wear.