regarding groomsmen (XP)

bridalmarch

The bridesmaids are wearing teal (a last minute change from black) 

FI is wearing a grey suit, white shirt and we're still deciding on the tie. 

Fi wants groomsman to wear black suits, white shirts, and we're still deciding on ties. 

Then FI told me last night that he doesn't want GM to have to buy a black suit. I said they could just rent one and he said he doesn't want them to spend any money. I asked what he wanted them to wear and he said they could all just wear a suit they already own. 

He has 8 men standing with him and I know for a fact that at least three of them already own a black suit, and none of them are destitute or anything. I know GM wear is up to the man, and maybe I'm being overbearing, but I just don't think it looks right to have FI in grey, a few in black, and the rest in whatever they had laying around.  

I think people agree to be in WP knowing they'll spend a little bit of money. I don't think asking them to procure a black suit is out of line, but I honestly have no idea how groomsmen work. 

bridalmarch

also, what's the etiquette on ties? Can we specify a tie? If we do, do we pay?  We're thinking purple for him and silver for them, but if he tells them to go buy a silver tie without any other direction there might be 8 confused gentleman wandering around Macy's. 

calliopeia2013

I've been to two weddings where the groomsmen were put in matching ties, and both times the groom bought the ties for all of them.  I don't think it's technically a requirement- people agree to be in weddings knowing that they will have to spend some money; your FI's desire to not have them spend any money at all is kind of unrealistic.  It's not overbearing to ask all of the groomsmen to wear the same color suit.

catloverd

My fiance's groomsmen all rented tuxes and they paid for them... I think people know that they have to put up some money if they want to be in the wedding party. You could buy them all ties as a groomsmen gift? 

My bridesmaids all paid for their dresses, but I bought them their jewelry as a a gift. 

bridalmarch

I thought anything they wore wasn't a gift? 

Avion22

I think it's fine to ask guys to wear a black suit.   Like you said, a few already own them.  Those who don't can buy one -- it's something every man should have in his wardrobe.  You can buy them from JCPenney for as little as $99, and Men's Warehouse and Jos A. Banks have sales all the time.    However, if any of the groomsmen don't have a black suit and don't want to or can't buy one, they can rent one on their own or borrow one from a friend.   IMO, asking a groomsman to wear a black suit is like asking a bridesmaid to wear a black dress -- everyone either has one, should get one, or can get a hold of one somehow.

As for the ties, if you want them all to match, you should buy them youselves.  Men's Warehouse has a wide selection of colors and patterns.  Keep in mind if any of your groomsmen are really tall, they will need an extra-long tie -- the selection of these is much more limited than regular-length ties, so you will want to pick one that comes in both regular and extra-long.    You are right that if you require the groomsmen to wear the tie for the wedding, then it doesn't count as their thank-you gift:-)

Lisa50

PPs have given great advice and, honestly, unless your FI is very young, he's likely quite capable of making his own decisions on this.  And if he has questions, he can head to the nearest Nordstrom and chat with the top salesperson in men's suits. 

MWTuxedo

Great question! Groomsmen can be difficult to dress. To keep the wedding party looking clean and classy, you may want to have them all rent the same tuxedo. It's common for the groom to be wearing a different color tux/suit than the groomsmen (and good call on the grey!). 

If you/they are interested in renting, check-out these pre-styled looks for something that can fit perfectly with what you've already planned- http://bit.ly/prestyledlooks

Hope this helps and good luck!