3 months salary for engagement ring???

salonmaggie

Is anyone going by the old rule that the FH spends 3 months of his salary for your ring? My FH is insisting on spending that much on my ring and I really think it is WAY too much! Plus, I doubt I've already pregnant now. We should save some for our kids but not to just enjoy life, right??

 If he had spent 3 months salary on a ring, I would have smacked him silly! Then made him take it back. I just want a ring similar like this.

Am I wrong to think like that??

ChristineM130

No. If my fiance had spent that much on an engagement ring, we'd need to wait another year to get married, which is not what either of us want. Or we could have drained our savings accounts for our wedding, which isn't good either.

And last time I heard about that rule it was one month salary? Maybe that's just because I'm from upstate New York and everyone here is poor.

Avion22

That's what the jewelry industry tells people to make money.   

I, personally, think it's more important to get a ring that you both like, that fits into your lifestyle and your budget.   How much it costs (or even if it has a diamond or not) is pretty much irelevant.   

Bottom line, if he can AFORD three months salary, and that results in a piece of jewelry that you like and would wear (meaning, not some huge rock that would get you mugged), then go for it.  If not, then pick something else.   

evelinacarroll3

I would stick with Suzie Orman's rule of thumb, if you have 8 months emergency fund available plus another good amount in investments ( by my observations good amount = at least 1 year of salary in investments or savings) then you probably can affort it. Another easy rule is to never spend more that 3% of your savings on any one purchase, since this is a big deal and its ring, I would bump that rule to 5% at most. If you don’t know who Suzie Orman is please watch her show and make your partner watch her too it will save you a lot of worries later in life. You absolutely think the right way, you can always get a bigger rock later..and kids are expensive. 

chattychiqa

I don't like the idea of that at all.

SoonerMrsHun

I think it's just a way he expressed his love to you, although it's way too much. Just talk to him, and you would like to save that kind of money for importance, and you'd love him no matter how much money of the ring. Then I think he will get the point ;-)

firsttimersluck

Yes, but not on purpose. He didn't go in search of a ring that was 3 months of his pay... He went in search of the ring I wanted and ended up paying that much. 

It's just a ring. You're not WRONG to think that way. He doesn't NEED to get you anything ridiculous.. Really he doesn't NEED to get you anything at all.. although I'm sure you want SOMETHING :P 

AurorasEnvy

I agree, spend what you guys feel comfortable with.  I think this is something that they say to sell fancier rings.  3 months salary for people who make more than average might be something they can easily swing, but 3 months salary for people who are barely keeping their heads above water just is unreasonable.

I'd have a heart to heart with your FI on a budget that you both feel comfortable with - on one hand, it is a piece of jewelry that you'll wear for the rest of your life, and "you can't take it [money] with you when you are gone", but on the other hand it isn't really worth going into major debt over.

gsg717

I've always heard 2 month's salary for e-ring and 1 month for wedding band. But really, its about what he can afford. If one can barely pay their rent or bills, or has no $$ in savings, then it'd be stupid to spend so much on a piece of jewelry.
 
We went shopping for my e-ring with a "2 months of his salary" budget, and he ended up purchasing something about half the budget. I guess we could've gone with a bigger or fancier ring, but my e-ring fits my personality and lifestyle. And FI was able to pay it off quickly with no extra effort. My wedding band is about 1 month of our combined salaries and is more expensive than my e-ring actually (e-ring is 1ct tw and wedding band is 2.34ct tw). What matters is that we can afford it and it will be paid off before we're married. Starting off married life making poor financial decisions is not a good idea.

raes19

My original engagement ring was about one month of H's pay at the time. When we got engaged, I was still in college and only working part time, and we were pretty broke. In the two years we were engaged, I finished school and we both ended up at higher paying jobs. When it was time for us to to shop for wedding bands, we decided we could afford to upgrade my engagement ring and actually ended up going for an engagement ring that would go with the band I picked out, since it has a different shape to it and my original ring wouldn't have worked with it. All together, for my new engagement ring, wedding band, and his wedding band, we paid about 2 months of our combined income.

Cortney1982

There is no way I'd spend 3 months salary on a ring!  That is not a good formula to decide what you can afford.  You have to take montly expenses into consideration.

mandydc0509

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_3-months-salary-for-engagement-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:db79f644-b4bd-4f3a-ae77-144ebd961640Post:44861d5f-b767-40ba-857b-bfa9eb6414c0">Re: 3 months salary for engagement ring???</a>:
[QUOTE]That's what the jewelry industry tells people to make money.    I, personally, think it's more important to get a ring that you both like, that fits into your lifestyle and your budget.   How much it costs (or even if it has a diamond or not) is pretty much irelevant.    Bottom line, if he can AFORD three months salary, and that results in a piece of jewelry that you like and would wear (meaning, not some huge rock that would get you mugged), then go for it.  If not, then pick something else.   
Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]

All of this. I think that rule is ridiculous.

TheDoctor10

Wait...3 MONTHS? I thought that according to Michael Scott, it was 3 YEARS...

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garage_Sale_(The_Office))

KSwen719

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_3-months-salary-for-engagement-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:db79f644-b4bd-4f3a-ae77-144ebd961640Post:a66f8ef8-11b9-483e-b63f-91fe7b2e0dcf">Re: 3 months salary for engagement ring???</a>:
[QUOTE]Wait...3 MONTHS? I thought that according to Michael Scott, it was 3 YEARS... ( <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garage_Sale_(The_Office)" rel="nofollow">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garage_Sale_(The_Office)</a> )
Posted by TheDoctor10[/QUOTE]

<div>I live most of my life based on episodes of "The Office", so I very much appreciate this comment.  <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-tongue-out.gif" border="0" alt="Tongue Out" title="Tongue Out" /></div>

singing_lyn

I smell vendor. 1st post and already knows how to link in words and the english she uses is broken and doesn't make much sense.

desertmomnm

I think my ring was one month's salaray at the most and I like it a lot.  I actually picked it out.  I wouldn't have minded though if the center stone had been a little bigger, but going from no ring to a ring, the 3/4 carat seemed big enough. 

jelenybeany

oh my lord that's nuts. we're a single family income. my husband makes decent money, but i would consider it average. If we were a two person income household and we both made an acceptable living, that's what he makes. My ring was $3,000 (engagement and wedding band) is 2 carats, sparkles insanely, I get compliments left and right, and I felt like we overspent! We did get it on sale though and it's normally $5,000. We didn't even come close to one month's salary, and in my personal opinion, my ring is awesome.

Three months would mean that someone making just $30,000 a year would "have" to spend $7,500 on an E Ring. That seems a bit absurd.

goodine11

Nope. A ring should be a thing between too people not how much it cost. Wheather it cost 100 dollars or a million dollars. I don't think my FH paid more than 600 hundred for my set. But it is so different. 2 carat black diamond. But it is beautiful.

calindi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_3-months-salary-for-engagement-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:db79f644-b4bd-4f3a-ae77-144ebd961640Post:f9486dfb-5414-4496-8836-58ebb10a30de">Re: 3 months salary for engagement ring???</a>:
[QUOTE]I would stick with Suzie Orman's rule of thumb, if you have 8 months emergency fund available plus another good amount in investments ( by my observations good amount = at least 1 year of salary in investments or savings) then you probably can affort it. Another easy rule is to never spend more that 3% of your savings on any one purchase, since this is a big deal and its ring, I would bump that rule to 5% at most. If you don’t know who Suzie Orman is please watch her show and make your partner watch her too it will save you a lot of worries later in life. You absolutely think the right way, you can always get a bigger rock later..and kids are expensive. 
Posted by evelinacarroll3[/QUOTE]

Suzie Orman is an idiot.  She also recommends in her book that you should pay your monthly expenses on credit cards if you want to quit your job and go back to school.  The concept of savings is good, but certainly not unique to Suzie, and I wouldn't read her books in general.  Rich Dad Poor Dad is a far better book on money management.

If you have 8 months salary saved up, then why would you possibly want to spend 1/3 of that savings on a piece of jewelry?  It's all about individual choice, and I certainly would NOT want to spend that much.  We considered it in terms of other priorities - how much could we budget without constricting other more important things (like bills and savings) or cutting into things we wanted to do (like vacations and eating out).  Based on that, we set a budget. 

Even if I was marrying Donald Trump, I wouldn't want a ring that was worth 3 months of MY salary simply because I don't feel comfortable wearing something as expensive as a car (a cheap car, on my salary, but still!).  Figure out what you like and what you can afford, and hopefully somewhere those overlap.

GunzNRoses213

Originally my FI had a previous ring to trade in /upgrade, but they wanted him to spend double what he paid for it . So i was looking in a much higher range then I wanted to or that I wanted FI to pay. I told him to keep the other one and use it and save for a bigger anniversary and get me diamond earring later in life when we had more money.

I did not like anything in the higher range and went with the lower becuase I just couldnt stand him paying a ton of money on it. He said I was worth it , but I said no because I just didnt happen to have expensive taste with rings.

It's what you like and you both feel is affordable now and if you can upgrade later then you have the option.

nightnursemel

If he actually has to finance your ering, he can't afford it.  Starting off a marriage in debt for a piece of jewelry? Common sense should tell anyone that is not a smart move.

culturalrelativist

Nope. I have my mother's engagement ring on my finger. I told him someday when we're old and rich,  he can buy me something then. Right now, we have more important things to worry about- like saving for a house, a family, etc.