Let's talk negotiating

DirtyWater

We are on a tight/strict budget and want to provide for our guests.  Without going into debt.  My parents are picking up the food bill, but adding another $6-7,000 onto our plate is not do-able.

We're not sold on the beer and wine only because we don't even like beer and wine and would be a bit disappointed if we couldn't drink at our wedding and others.  We'll also be closing the bar for dinner and 30 minutes before the end.

In what ways were you able to negotiate this part of the reception or does anyone have any good signature cocktail ideas?

FireDancer04

I know it sounds awful but I had a cash bar....but my guests weren't expecting open bar either. Everyone came with cash and from what I recall the cash bar didn't stop them from drinking.

DirtyWater

FireDancer, that doesn't sound awful.  I don't think there is anything wrong with cash bars at all.  My side 99% of the time always has cash bars.  Only one has had open bar for 1.5hrs this past September.

FI's family on the other hand has all open bars.  They have never had a cash bar.

The option for an hour IMO isn't worth it because its $14.  Double that and that's what it is for 5.5 hours.   We were thinking 4-4.5 hrs.

I don't want to offend his family, but we also dont want to go broke.  The only reason why I'm highly entertaining the idea is because almost all of our guests will be traveling and staying the night.

RockyNFrankie

Signiture cocktails like margarita or martini (any flavor you like)

What is your budget for bar? What options does your venue have?  I think you need to talk to them to see what they are willing to do

Do they have a beer wine and house liquor option? House brands are always much cheaper then premium.

Could you set a dollar amount? Give $3000 (or whatever you can afford) and when that is gone switch to cash bar?

It sounds like you can afford beer and wine but dont want it, could you maybe do that and then give them an extra set amount for liquor and when its gone people can just switch to beer or pay?

DirtyWater

$4,000 is our max.  We're having a champagne toast with dinner.  We wanted to have a family wine brought in for dinner, but now they say we cant have it.

I'm scared that the money will be blown in the first hour with all of our drinkers.  We're just trying to make what we have last.  I just don't know how people feel about signature cocktails.  I'm not sure if we did a limited beer, wine and a sig cocktail, if people would be happy with that.  Or be mad that they cant just order their regular drink. 

I know some people will do a limited bar with the option to buy a drink if its not on the list. 

I feel like I'm overt thinking it and giving myself anxiety.  I'm just trying to please everyone, without draining our account even more.

FireDancer04

You could do drink tickets, 2 per person for the night.

melb2013

I think champagne and a signature cocktail sounds perfect.  I think the cocktail should be whatever your favorite cocktail is.  For me, I'm considering mojitos because I love them!  I think it is better to have a very limited bar (maybe no bar? just champagne toast) instead of a cash bar.  My family would freak out on me if I had a cash bar.

daisy667

We are doing Mimosas and Bloody Mary's for signature drinks because our cocktail hour will start at 1:30pm, and those are good day drinkin' drinks.

Otherwise, we are doing a Cash Bar. I have been to a million weddings of friends and family, and usually there is open bar for an hour, and then it's cash bar. So, I know that after going to all these weddings, it is standard practice for our guests, so they won't personally be offended. Also, there are a lot of reformed alcoholics in my family, and they would be MORE insulted at an open bar all night.

I think it really depends on the crowd you're inviting.

At Castleton - Look into the Champagne fountain, that is really inexpensive. I think Signature Cocktails are the way to go - It will be known that you can get that drink for free, and if you want something different, you'll have to pay. If someone really wants their gin and tonic and it's not on your 'sig cocktail' list, they'll just have to pay for it! They'll get over it. But, you know your guests a lot better than I. Good luck, don't stress too much!

RockyNFrankie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-hampshire_lets-talk-negotiating?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:101Discussion:ed860bf3-b3d9-4df3-a943-5ca13af2dc34Post:6d26a1a8-3d67-4746-aa55-e557360cc7ff">Re: Let's talk negotiating</a>:
[QUOTE]$4,000 is our max.  We're having a champagne toast with dinner.  We wanted to have a family wine brought in for dinner, but now they say we cant have it. I'm scared that the money will be blown in the first hour with all of our drinkers.  We're just trying to make what we have last.  I just don't know how people feel about signature cocktails. <strong> I'm not sure if we did a limited beer, wine and a sig cocktail, if people would be happy with that.</strong>  Or be mad that they cant just order their regular drink.  I know some people will do a limited bar with the option to buy a drink if its not on the list.  I feel like I'm overt thinking it and giving myself anxiety.  I'm just trying to please everyone, without draining our account even more.
Posted by DirtyWater[/QUOTE]

Unless you do an premium open bar all night, you are not going to be able to please everyones first choice drink. I'd say if beer, wine, sig cocktail is something you are happy with, then do it.

You are giving 3 different options, if people want something else make sure it is available for them to purchase.

scrpio421

I think three options is very nice...and really most weddings I've been to the majority only have 2 drinks anyway. I really want to do some sort of an open bar, but I just don't know if we can swing it. So I think we are going to do a signature cocktail and a cash bar. Every magazine says NO to cash bars, but when times are tight and your trying to pay for things yourselves you have to cut where you can.
When I was living in NJ, the venues factor in the open bar into the price per plate and it seems less expensive here in NH. So my friends in NJ might be the only ones suprised, because that's just how it's done there and it's more affordable.

Do what's right for you guys and what you can swing. Don't go broke and into debt just because you though Aunt Sally and Cousin Jim couldn't live if they had to pay for their own whiskey sour, when other things were available for free.

mariegra

We had an open bar for the cocktail hour only and then a cash bar after.  No one complained and it worked out really well.

Melissa603

A friend of mine did this at her wedding and it seemed to work out well - full open for cocktail. Beer and wine only once dinner started and a signature drink. Maybe consider that option?

dhdaydream

We had an open bar during cocktail hour and then it switched to a cash bar. Also, we had a credit on our account at the venue because of guests that cancelled right before the wedding, and they applied that to the bar so that my and DH's parents could have drinks covered for the night. It worked out great! Noone had anything negative to say about it.

JennLaura

At our wedding the first our was free...part of the package.  We also had a martini luge for the first two hours....free.  After that the wedding party, everyone at my parents table and whomever I gave a lei to (to kinda tie in the Hawaiian honeymoon thing) drank for free for the night.  Surprisingly the bill only came out to $650.00 for everything except the martini luge....$1800.00.  Everyone was drinking and having a great time!!!!