Typical Problem--the Mother In Law

duckie1905

I think it is funny that the OP thinks her FMIL is the problem.

I'm betting her FMIL is a peach and she's really the FDIL from hell.

You can't tell grown women what to wear (you shouldn't have told your mother, either).  Let them wear whatever they want in whatever color they want.

honeybear9311

I understand you frustration, and i also understand its not the dress color but that fact she knows you dont want her to and she doesnt care about you wishes for the wedding...
Let her buy a coral dress, have it taylored, ect- then take your mom shopping for an awesome purple/blue/green/yellow/orange/whocaresanyOTHERcolor dress. You could even have you and your mom wearing matching earring or necklace to make her stand out in a special way (thats what i am doing) and keep it a secret and suprise your mom on the big day. Let your FMIL think shes queen bee b/c in reality its kinda sad she has to act that way and be a bigger person than that (even when you wanna punch her in the nose lol)
*Coral is an awesome color but does NOT look good on a lot of people so maybe you could find a color that works even better on your mom?*

KatyRoseM

I'm actually having the opposite problem of the OP.  My FMIL asked me what she should wear, and when I said whatever you want she insisted I tell her what the BMs were wearing and my mother was wearing and what style she should get and the color tone.  Um, wear what you want, I don't know what you should wear.  I'm happy to show you what others will, but I just don't feel ok asking her to wear something in particular...

psichick

i don't understand why these women think that they have any control at all over the attire of anyone. you get to pick your dress and what the BM's wear. THAT'S IT. no one is going to clash in pictures.


get over yourself.

jeanette.stogdill

Oh. My. God. Why do you even care what she wears?  First of all, from what you said, it doesn't sound like she was being a "Monster in law" at all!  Don't you have other wedding details to worry about besides what she wears.  If she looks bad (which I don't think she will) it's her own fault!

Get over it and worry about something more worth while

jeanette.stogdill

Oh, and by the way...the MIL is not a typical problem.  I get along with mine very well and have been pretty close since I started dating FI.  Also, many of my friends are close with their MIL and I've seen many knotties say the same.  Sounds like you need to make a better effort or the rest of your life might be miserable.

sarah0725

Oh goodness gracious. Maybe I should hang out over here with you guys more often.

OP, in addition to everything everyone else said, if your FMIL is really as bad as you say, your getting mad about this is playing RIGHT. INTO. HER. HANDS. People can't make you mad if you refuse to get mad. Also, what the moms wear is totally not your business. FMIL won't be in every picture, and if you hate her so much, just don't pick pictures of her to hang up on your wall. It's really not that big of a deal.

At my brother's wedding, the moms were in maybe four pictures together. Nobody will remember what your FMIL wore.

Jeez.

jlw559

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_typical-problem-mother-law?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:65432302-9ebc-4165-a1a0-d0986a62658dPost:ccc3230e-1105-4cd4-9bb1-fd1d60371a60">Re: Typical Problem--the Mother In Law</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it is funny that the OP thinks her FMIL is the problem. I'm betting her FMIL is a peach and she's really the FDIL from hell. You can't tell grown women what to wear (you shouldn't have told your mother, either).  Let them wear whatever they want in whatever color they want.
Posted by duckie1905[/QUOTE]

This.

Also, I really don't understand why you want your mom to stand out but not your FMIL.

deepcovejackie

Annnnnd, you're hardly going to get the photos of your extended family blown up into 20x20 inches and hang it over the fireplace, right?  You'll live, I guarantee it, even if the entire wedding guest list is in coral.

[Deleted User]

I'm sad that she didn't come back to play.

deepcovejackie

Me too cew.  Well, it's just us left.  What's going on in the mai tai thread?  Anything interesting?

[Deleted User]

What's the mai tai thread? I think I'm lost.

deepcovejackie

Oh It was the work thread about the steel drums music at work, and of course I was thinking mai tais and pina coladas.  You're not confused.  I'm confusing...

[Deleted User]

Ah yes. I remember that one. It's the one that made me realize my work sucks diick.

deepcovejackie

Um yeah, and at that exact moment, my work was sucking hard too.  Which is why I remembered.  Then I went to my happy Jimmy Buffet/Eagles place in my mind....thus the fruity drink reference.

[Deleted User]

You work in a hospital, don't you?

heather_shadow

I think a suggestion of color is appropriate, but if she doesn't want to wear coral, then...I guess there isn't much you can do. I would hope she would want to look good in pictures and help any way she can to aid.

I was lucky both my mother and mother-in-law wanted to wear colors that would compliment the wedding.

Even if she doesn't, the pictures will look great because you will be in them with the people you love the most!

deepcovejackie

cew--yeah and I"m mystified that I can't find a pina colada anywhere.  What goes on?

Krysti21

I've read over your post a couple of times and I have yet to find the problem....

SparrowSong

It astounds me the type of stuff some people come up with to stress about. I don't remember even thinking about what my mom and his mom was wearing. I did. not. care.

Clashing in photos? What? How do you look at a photo taken of a group of friends on some random Saturday. OMG two people are wearing different shades of green! My eyes! MY EYES!

Also, I don't think there is exactly an over-abundence of coral-colored clothing out there. One of them may find something they love but it's lavender... or blue.. or magenta. And yet still the wedding will go on.

Let it go. Your life doesn't need this much drama in it.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_typical-problem-mother-law?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:65432302-9ebc-4165-a1a0-d0986a62658dPost:519f2fe6-9908-42a3-a1a4-d1c781b6b7f4">Re: Typical Problem--the Mother In Law</a>:
[QUOTE]I've read over your post a couple of times and I have yet to find the problem....
Posted by Krysti21[/QUOTE]

Seriously?

melissadefelice

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_typical-problem-mother-law?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:65432302-9ebc-4165-a1a0-d0986a62658dPost:2c4cbab0-80db-4529-add2-710ebfe068ef">Re: Typical Problem--the Mother In Law</a>:
[QUOTE]I want her in the same scheme, but she can't wear the SAME color my mom is wearing or a color that is similar enough but clashes.  Like if you had 50 people all wearing a shade of green, not all the greens would match.  <strong>I don't want her to clash with everyone in the pictures.</strong>
Posted by russe289[/QUOTE]

Personally, this is not worth getting angry about.  Why get your blood pressure up because of colors?  At the end of the day you are going to be married and everyone will have a great time, and no one will give a schitt what the colors are.

melissadefelice

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_typical-problem-mother-law?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:65432302-9ebc-4165-a1a0-d0986a62658dPost:bed027fa-37d7-4be7-82d5-35adcb5f8292">Re: Typical Problem--the Mother In Law</a>:
[QUOTE]It astounds me the type of stuff some people come up with to stress about. I don't remember even thinking about what my mom and his mom was wearing. I did. not. care. Clashing in photos? What? How do you look at a photo taken of a group of friends on some random Saturday. OMG two people are wearing different shades of green! My eyes! MY EYES! Also, I don't think there is exactly an over-abundence of coral-colored clothing out there. One of them may find something they love but it's lavender... or blue.. or magenta. And yet still the wedding will go on. Let it go. Your life doesn't need this much drama in it.
Posted by SparrowSong[/QUOTE]

AMEN!