Long Engagements: Love or Hate?

BanannaP

I've heard some people wishing their engagement had actually been shorter... anyone wish it had been longer? Ours will be 16 months, and we're only a month in. I feel like it's good because we might be moving away in the next few months. Plus, I'm trying to get as much as possible done now so I can have some wedding-free time in the middle. Thoughts?

Mariah&Steven

I don't know...I don't think I would have liked a longer engagement.  We were engaged for 9 months, which I thought was the perfect amount of time to find my venue (first priority), get the dress, and then find my photog, etc.  I can't imagine what I'd had to have gone through with MIL if it had been a longer engagement....

mandee684

Mine is 2 years. I wanted it that way though so that I could have time to save, and get somethings early without struggling for money. Only 15 months left lol

fallbride1109

I got engaged Dec. 23.  My wedding is Nov. 7.  When we first got engaged, it felt like it would never get here and now I feel like time is literally flying!  All in all though, I think this is perfect.     

juliebug1997

We were engaged for six and a half months. It was long to me. I would have married him over my Spring Break if we could have worked it out. I didn't want to wait to start my new life.

JessAndColton

We were engaged exactly one year.  365 days. I thought it was perfect.  I had absolutely no stress on the wedding day because I had been ready for months.

BanannaP

Before FI's dad passed away, we were thinking of doing something really soon (like this fall), but after he passed, I felt like we could really take our time.Stephie-my FI was born in '74 too!

Donnaaries

My engagement is 18 months.  It's a little on the long side, but then again, we'd also been dating for 5 years at the time he proposed.  It had to be this way because I didn't want grad school, or professional licensing, and other stuff to be happening at the same time as wedding planning. I didn't do ANYTHING for the first 5-6 months of the engagement though.  So now it feels like a normal planning process.

tnickel06

Our engagement is going to 21 months. But we didn't really start anything major until a month ago so we could have actually gotten engaged this summer and still would have found everything okay.

BalletBride620

We were engaged 2 years, however except for looking at pictures I did nothing until a year out. I told him I needed one year to plan, but 2 years was a little much. Also, it made him mad when people got engaged after us, and married before us... I think he brought that on himself, though. Even though we were engaged that long, I wouldn't budge on choosing an earlier date because I wanted to be mostly finished with school. I also think that though finances are okay right now, they're tight for the next year since I don't have a full time job yet. I can't imagine it being like this for two years... so, sorry for the rambling.. I don't even know if I've helped!

Jefrina79

Our engagement was 7 months and really, I would have liked it to be shorter.   

emimayor

Our was 10 months and I wish it had been shorter. We did a majority of it ourselves so saving was part of it. If I could have done it differently I would have gotten married in October/November time frame, but instead we had a January wedding. I was in a full planning mode for 10 months. It would have been nicer to have a shorter engagement only because of feedback from others. When I first started planning everyone told me that I had SOOO much time and not to care/plan until 5 months out. I was patient about certain things, but when I was really excited to start, everyone else was not. Although, no one is more excited about your wedding than you. Okay, ramble over.

jtop

Ours will be 16 months too. Sometimes I think about moving the date up but I know we'd be better off with a long engagement. Gives us time to save some money for after the wedding and me time to plan - I've already gone a little crazy so I can't imagine how I'd be if I only had 7-8 months to plan. We've been dating 6 years, it'll be 7 by the time we get married so we're not in a rush.

Jay&Marissa

Ours will be 28 months--I'm just happy to be under the year mark now!In reality, though, he was 20 and I was 19 when we got engaged. We knew we wanted to get married (we had been together for 4 years at that point), but we weren't (and still are not) ready to get married at that point. Mainly, we both want to finish school and really enjoy our last year of college. I don't think getting married during college is always a bad idea (Jay's parents did it), but I saw one of my roommates get married her sophomore year and it was a big mistake.It sucks waiting so long, but on the plus side, I had my choice of venues (and dates and vendors), plenty of time, and I am 75% done with planning 10 months out--yay!

Jay&Marissa

PS--I also thought it was important that we could legally drink at our own reception.

l33anna

We will be engaged for 15 months before the big day! Sometimes I wish we would have just eloped, but I know that I will be so glad that we decided to have a big wedding with all of our family. Like pp said, I started planning 9 months out and ppl would make me feel like I had lots of time, but now I feel like I have so much left to do...mostly just detail stuff. I can't wait!!! So it is good if you want to save and plan everything with little stress...but bad if you just want it done!

krhoades

DH and I were engaged for 2 years and 2 months and we loved every second of it. We could have doubled the time and still been just as happy. We're happy we got married but definitely weren't in any rush to do it.

bellagrace

Our engagement will be 17 mos. I wanted at least a year, but I always wanted to get married in the fall. So thats mostly for the time frame being longer. But, we have been together for 3 years so there was no rush and I wanted to enjoy the planning process. It is sort of nice for it to be long because I am not rushed and can take my time to pick the thing I wanted. Also, by doing this we have time to do things with both our families who don't live in DFW. By waiting we get to enjoy a killer bachelor/bachelorette party in vegas. Don't think we could do that if we had a shorter engagement.

mandasue178

We were engaged for 10 months. By 7 months I was beyond done with everything (mentally not actually). I wanted to wait till summer for financial reasons and so that travel would be simpler (lots of family members with kids in school). We originally planned on March, and I think I would have liked that better, although I think we grew up ALOT (as a couple) in the last 3 months of our engagement, so in the end, it was good!

asr2003

On August 10th we'll have been engaged for three years. When he proposed we were both still in college and he was a year behind me, so we both wanted to wait until we graduated and got our finances in order. I really don't regret the fact that I'll be engaged for over four years (getting married next October!) but the only thing that I don't think bothers me is just sort of funny is all the people who got engaged after us are now married. In fact my MOH just became my Matron of Honor a couple of weeks ago lol.

llc_lauren & chris

By the time we get married it will be about 25 months of being engaged.  Would I like a shorter engagement? Probably. I'm only 3 months into planning and I'm pretty sure I'll have a big lull in the middle where I don't do anything and just want the months to fly by.  We're doing the longer engagement for financial reasons. We could have set the date for next fall, but Chris really wanted it to be close to our dating anniversary, and if he's going to speak up on a wedding topic, I'm going to listen haha.

kris928

Our engagement is 16 months...right now I'm really hating it because I just want to be married to him already! I really wanted a summer wedding and we got engaged on VDay, there was no way that we could have afforded a wedding this summer, so a long engagement was our best option. I just hope these next months fly by!!

JessTX

Our negagement will be 9 months- I am pretty happy with that. At first thogh I felt like I had so much time and was ticking things off than work got busier than the busy it usualy is and I slowed down and now I am totally panicking about the details I have left to do in a month. Also I am 37, if I was younger I migt have enjoyed a longer negagement. We wanted to do a wedding on a long weekend so we were looking at memorial day or labor day and opted for labor day or it would havebeen a 6 month engagement. i seriously considred 6 mos but thought it might be a little tight and I wanted to lose weight- well i lost 20 lbs by May and nothing since, maybe we should have done May! No, seriously I think the 9 months was great for us but everyone's circumstances are so different. I could not have done longer. We are SO ready to be married.

BanannaP

Thanks for all the input everyone! I'm not questioning our engagement length, I was just curious how others felt. If we do end up having to move, it'll be nice to not have to worry about wedding stuff while getting settled because there's plenty of time. I wanted at least a year, but I always wanted to get married in the fallWhoever said this - I would have loved spring, but FI really wanted to have some Halloween elements, so we decided to do Halloween weekend 2010.

almoyo

We were engaged 6 months. I really think adding a couple of months would have majorly reduced my planning stresses, but I am SO glad to be done with it and married. Had the engagement been longer, I probably would have procrastinated those extra months and just spent 6 months planning anyway.

tiffnrich2010

We will have a 13month engagement. I wanted at least a year..he just happened to propose a month earlier haha! We got engaged May 8, 2009 and are getting married June, 19 2010

Lindsifite

Our engagement will be about 10 months long. We are through month 1! I am happy with the length. I hope to be starting a new job in the fall and finishing grad school is december, so it will be nice to have all of spring to plan with no classes. I am just so excited to know that this time next year, I will be his wife. I asked him what he is looking forward to most (inspired by a post on here) and he is excited about doing life together, everyday, for the rest of our lives. And to me, that starts now. GL!

SCbrideinTX

We'll of had a 14 month engagement when all is said and done.  He proposed in August of last year, and I liked the idea of having a fall wedding, and we definitely weren't going to be able to have a fall 2008 wedding.Also, we'd just moved out here and started our jobs, so I wanted to give us some time to get settled and have a little bit more security.  I also never imagined myself getting married young, so I think I liked the idea of being another year older.Now that it's been almost a year, pretty much everthing is planned and I really just want it to be here already.  I think a year or 10 months would have been preferable.

appletango85

I thought I wanted a long engagement...until I got engaged. But we have been together 6 1/2 years(7 on our wedding day ) and I was just ready. Our engagement is about 8 months and that is just fine with me. But I did start planning a year out because we had already decided on a date. I am really glad I didn't have to wait 2 or more years to plan the wedding! I think I wouldn't have been as excited and motivated to do it. But at that time that's what I wanted! There just comes a point in your relationship(especially when you have been together so long) that you introduce him as your boyfriend and the word just doesn't seem to fit. You want to convey to everyone that he's not just a bf...he's THE one ya know? that's why I wanted to get engaged and have a long engagement if necessary so I could call him my fiancee haha. He was set on not getting married til he was 25 *eyeroll* But he is getting his wish and and he will be 25 and 2 months!

kris928

Had the engagement been longer, I probably would have procrastinated those extra months and just spent 6 months planning anyway. Haha..Allison, this is me exactly!!!

mdepva09

ours is 15 months. Some days it feels like it is just the right amount, others it's not long enough, and others its too long. When we got engaged in August '08, i starting planning from that moment. I'm glad i did, my list right now (a little less than 3 months out) is finishing touches, I don't have anything major to worry about. Because we waited we can pay for our wedding cash with little help from anyone, got most of what we wanted, plus we were able to build a house for us to live in. If we hadn't waited none of that would have been possible.I don't know how people can do everything in a short engagement. Some days I feel like I'm going to lose my mind trying to get things done and we had a long-ish engagement.